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Old 09-24-2016, 08:45 PM
 
6,304 posts, read 8,993,311 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Eagle View Post
I am just stating what I know about these things I have cleaned a house, I have gone grocery stores, none of those things take long or have to be done everyday.
In your world, they don't.

You seem to be making a lot of assumptions about this hypothetical couple that may or may not be true.
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Old 09-24-2016, 09:56 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,704 posts, read 1,825,685 times
Reputation: 4826
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Eagle View Post
I am just stating what I know about these things I have cleaned a house, I have gone grocery stores, none of those things take long or have to be done everyday.
In my world they certainly do. I spend time cleaning our small home every day. I care for our property and garden every day without fail. It would quickly revert to bug-infested jungle if I didn't stay on top of it.

I'm working full time right now and I still spend a minimum of 2 hours daily, sometimes more. I know, because I am a well-organized, methodical, clean freak. I complete my daily tasks from a checklist, and I know how long each task will take me.

I have daily tasks, weekly tasks (divided into 7 parts, so that 1 weekly part is done each day) and monthly tasks (divided into 4 parts so that 1 monthly part is done each week). That does not include caring for the vehicles, extra holiday planning and tasks, tax preparation, or random things that pop up seasonally or at odd times (such as illness or lots of company visiting which can throw me off my schedule or add to my to-do list).

Because I'm working, my 2 hour daily schedule is what I call my "lick and a promise" of basic regular chores. If I were a SAHW, I would do things differently (more intensive and thorough, especially with meals). Actually, if I were a SAHW, I would be giving my elderly parents a lot more of my time and attention right now. They need some extra help.

But I actually enjoy caring for my home, so I'm not sure how I compare to others. I like to keep my house clean, otherwise I can't sleep at night and I'd be afraid that the insects will discover a crumb on the floor and take over the place.

Last edited by Butterflyfish; 09-24-2016 at 10:21 PM..
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Old 09-24-2016, 10:12 PM
 
1,500 posts, read 1,765,638 times
Reputation: 2033
Sure it's fine. Why wouldn't it be? Do I agree with a wife just being at home and touting on herself? No.

I don't work full time (just 0.8 FTE) because my husband would be lost if I did. Granted I am also in school Full time so that has a lot to do with it. I have never worked full time in our marriage but have also been in school pretty much the duration. I cook, clean, do all of our laundry, run errands, drop the dry cleaning off, pretty much whatever he asks he gets. He is the breadwinner and has a way busier schedule with work so of course it's fair that I do that stuff. I will never work FT though because my husband would rather have me available to do the aforementioned things.
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Old 09-25-2016, 03:07 AM
 
Location: Florida
23,165 posts, read 26,122,269 times
Reputation: 27898
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Agree, money isn't the only contribution someone can make.

Old saying ............"I make the living, she makes the living worthwhile"
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Old 09-25-2016, 05:09 AM
 
Location: So Cal
19,263 posts, read 15,148,714 times
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When my SO and I met, we were both working outside of the home. So we became DINKs (double-income, no kids). We expected it to always be that way.

It was okay, I guess, but I hated having to work a full 8-hour day and then having to go grocery shopping, and whatever else, after work. If not that, to have to get up on the weekends and clean and take care of non-fun stuff before relaxing and enjoying the weekend. If I've learned nothing else in life, it's that, to me, time is infinitely more important than money, within reason.

Finally, after a lot of years, I began working for myself at home. It was a "feast or famine" situation, where I would get lots of work at once and then none for a long time. So, when it was "feast" time, I would be working day and night, existing literally on a few hours of sleep a night. This went on for years. My SO started having to take care of more of the chores/tasks, making dinner and doing housecleaning at these times. At one point, I just said I had to take a break, and he agreed.

After that, we realized that we could do very well on his income alone, and it gave a much more relaxed feeling to our day-to-day life. That's all.

On top of you both working, after, say, a 40-hour work week, you (we) have this to be done:

Dishes
Laundry
Dust furniture
Sweep/Vacuum/Swiffer/Mop 2 bathroom and 1 kitchen floor
Clean 3 sinks, 2 toilets, 2 tubs/shower stalls
Pay bills
Make menu, grocery shop, and make meals
Clean up and care for pet/s (completely optional, of course)

This is on top of having an 8-hour-a-day job. I really don't understand why people fight it.

I had a huge list of chores that I had written up a while back and then decided not to post about, but I can't find it. lol
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Old 09-25-2016, 07:45 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,625,050 times
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On our honeymoon, we went to Puerto Vallarta, where my mother-in-law and her husband lived at the time. They had a housekeeper, Casilda, who cooked their breakfast and lunch, did the shopping, and kept their place tidy. She was a sweet lady and made us huevos rancheros every morning ... the best ever. My husband and I still fantasize about having our own Casilda some day. Are you kidding? Clean house and huevos rancheros every day? I would pay for that in a hot minute.
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Old 09-25-2016, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,700 posts, read 34,246,140 times
Reputation: 76911
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaOfGrass View Post
On top of you both working, after, say, a 40-hour work week, you (we) have this to be done:

Dishes
Laundry
Dust furniture
Sweep/Vacuum/Swiffer/Mop 2 bathroom and 1 kitchen floor
Clean 3 sinks, 2 toilets, 2 tubs/shower stalls
Pay bills
Make menu, grocery shop, and make meals
Clean up and care for pet/s (completely optional, of course)

This is on top of having an 8-hour-a-day job. I really don't understand why people fight it.
I was thinking about this when it came up in the thread a while back. As a single person who lives alone, yeah, I do take care of all necessary chores in addition to working full time. But a lot of times the chores that get done are just the surface level tidying that's a neverending cycle: laundry/cooking/dishes/vacuuming/dusting/wiping down countertops, etc. I rarely get down to the nitty gritty stuff that also has to be done, like cleaning out closets, taking the shelves and drawers out of the fridge and wiping everything down, moving furniture and cleaning behind it, organizing files and shredding or deleting old paperwork, that kind of stuff. It's those kinds of chores that really benefit from having someone with more than a couple of minutes here and there to do them.
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Old 09-25-2016, 11:19 AM
 
13,586 posts, read 13,077,256 times
Reputation: 17786
Haha! One time I was having a conversation with my friend who had become a high income earner. He said something like " Man. I just wish I had a personal chef who would cook me a decent meal when I got off work and pick up my damn dry cleaning. I'm so tired at the end of the day. I don't have time for this (bleep)"

I just smiled and said, "Well, we used to have those. They were called housewives."

Truly, when done right, as long as the income is there and both partners give their fair share towards a nice life, a singe income household can be a beautiful thing.

I make a much better wage earner than a housewife, ( I've always been the primary breadwinner) but I can certainly see the value.
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Old 09-25-2016, 12:39 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,704 posts, read 1,825,685 times
Reputation: 4826
I see the point too and so does my husband. We might try it again one of these days when I feel ready. I'm pretty successful in my career and don't want to let go of it yet but in another 5 years I might.

The value that the SAHW provides to a couples quality of life is often hugely under appreciated as this thread demonstrates.

The wage earner gets weekends and holidays off plus retirement. There is no such thing as retirement for a SAH spouse.
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Old 09-26-2016, 11:48 AM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,418,348 times
Reputation: 53067
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaOfGrass View Post

After that, we realized that we could do very well on his income alone, and it gave a much more relaxed feeling to our day-to-day life. That's all.
Yep.

If everyone in the household has a more pleasant lifestyle by balancing one work schedule versus two, and one income is sufficient, that's really all that matters.
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