I now understand why people ghost (dating, women, love, attracted)

[Mikelee81]

Generally, I think this is a rude behavior. I guess it depends when someone does it. The problem is, some people like to be obsessive and overly dramatic. Ultimately the result is wasted time and needless drama.

I have officially put a girl I went on two dates with on the block list on my phone. I wouldn't have needed to do that though if I simply stopped responding to her after first response after I told her there was no mutual attraction and that I wished her the best. I find it a bit rude on the other parties part to not stop after that type of message was respectfully communicated. So from now on after I communicate this info I will simply be blocking the number.

Fyi we went on the second date with the understanding we'd do it clearly as 'friends" without a romantic involvement. I made that statement in talking with her prior to the date, which involved hiking around a lake talking. I also made it clear to her that I was in a dating stage looking to meet different people.

It probably was a mistake even going on the second date though looking back though. While I was simply enjoying the company of someone and looking to be friendly, she was evolving in her mind apparently into a friends for now with expectation of relationship link which was made clear in texting episodes after the date where I was busy and didn't text her asking how she's been, etc...

So I wake up to diatribe texting lectures on how I don't text enough and am leading her on etc... No thank you. Can't get the message, than just block the number. For those that have been on here for a while, this is the same girl I expressed I wasn't really attracted to that had mentioned she had called the cops on 3 different guys she had met through OLD.


In other news, I was handed an awesome opportunity in real life encounters in EMT class. For lunch a couple of us went out and there happened to be a beautiful 27 yo lady there that wants to be a paramedic flight nurse. We seemed to hit it off pretty good with conversation.

It goes to show how much better it is to meet people in real life encounters. I have no idea how this with transpire. I would love to get to know her more though. Got to keep any expectations low, and just keep things informational and fun. I plan on seeing if she'd like to go out for lunch for next Saturday's class.

[elnina]

I agree that No, should mean No, but some desperate people just dont get it. I am generally very careful with giving too much of personal info (home, work address, social sites, other stuff I would have to block access later) in very early stage of knowing each other, when there is still a lot of uncertainty. And during that stage, if things are not looking promising, I don't mind ghosting if that's the only way to end it.

[Mikelee81]

lol. I just realized I wrote to keep things "informational" and fun. I have no idea what that even means. I also see some typos, run on sentences etc..

Here's to writing on CD forums at 2am when you can't get back to sleep.. if I could edit it still I would.

[ItsRick24]

I think ghosting is very immature and rude, but also if you've told the person that there's "no spark", "no chemistry", or "Thanks, but no thanks", then they should understand that it's not gonna go any further! OP, you did tell her so and apparently she didn't get the message.

I'm a guy, and if a woman says those things to me, I'd just wish her well, erase her contact info and not see or speak to her again. Why waste time when you can find someone else?

[augiedogie]

When I was young, no one thought you had to tell someone you weren't interested if you just had a couple dates. If there was nothing, so you just moved on and didn't call. None of this texting daily. Sounds like a pain. So what I'm saying is that "ghosting" as its called today has a long history. If a guy lost interest with a girl after a few dates, he just stopped calling.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by augiedogie

When I was young, no one thought you had to tell someone you weren't interested if you just had a couple dates. If there was nothing, so you just moved on and didn't call. None of this texting daily. Sounds like a pain. So what I'm saying is that "ghosting" as its called today has a long history. If a guy lost interest with a girl after a few dates, he just stopped calling.

That how I see it. I typically don't contact if I'm not interested. Of course some women will just not take a hint and you have to end up blocking them out of necessity.

[ItsRick24]

Originally Posted by The Dissenter

That how I see it. I typically don't contact if I'm not interested. Of course some women will just not take a hint and you have to end up blocking them out of necessity.

I think it's women and men alike who won't take hints. I'm gonna be honest: I made this mistake some years ago with a woman. Took me a little time, but I learned a valuable lesson! If she doesn't contact you, she's not interested. Move on.

[Auraliea]

If a person is obsessive and persistent by nature it doesn't matter whether you ghost them or tell them out right you're not interested.

They'll probably still try to contact you.

[Prosze]

You shouldn't have gone out with this person again, at all if you know they are looking for a serious relationship and you aren't interested. I can see how she would wind up thinking you are leading her on. However, I would have appreciated your honesty and let it go. You did the right thing blocking her to avoid any drama.

[JerZ]

That's not ghosting. You clearly told her nothing would be happening between you going forward. With ghosting, nothing is said; one person simply disappears while the other goes, "Huh?"