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Sounds like she is doing it to make fun of him. No one probably cares what she says. So you're looking to date, nothing wrong with that. So going to a bar is Better? I think you probably find more compatible dates through websites
How do you get that she's making fun of him for being on a dating site when she's on exactly the same dating site?
How would I have replied to the woman? I don't know...I think I would have been glad to have this thing in common and depending how close I was to the person, I'd have likely wanted to swap tips on using the site or share complaints (without going into too much personal detail)...that sort of thing. If time allowed, anyway. I mean this work we're talking about.
I love to find that I have something in common with someone else and I'm pretty open, generally, within reason.
I'm not the OP, though. But if I were offended rather than interested in sharing something in common and if I repeatedly felt my boundaries were being crossed on the job I would definitely either speak up to and be clear with the offenders (this is the most likely scenario) or I'd be reporting their activities to my supervisor, their supervisor, or HR.
But the OP now says it isn't that bad so...I have no clue what he wants here. For all of is just to say, yeah, that B word? Okay, then: yeah! That B word. You're welcome.
Thanks I believe I'm kind of seen as the B word at work. When I know I have to be in the "office" surrounded by ladies, I bring my headphones. I get agitated by idle chit chat and have a hard time not revealing that I think they're dumb. Ha! So no, I wouldn't have been embarrassed per se, bc I talk about my OLD exploits with one or two friends at work. I think OP just needs more confidence that he's one of them and not that people are looking to make fun of him. I don't know how to advise he get there though. So I asked whom I think is an 'expert'
Just thought it was weird conversation for the workplace and was shocked she would want someone to know she was on POF.
Shocked? It's 2016, are you really that embarrassed about online dating? Everyone's at it
I don't see what the problem is. A guy at work told me he saw my POF account. We just had a giggle about the world of online dating.
I don't get why you are so offended. I did defend you on your other thread but I'm starting to think that you are a little over-sensitive when it comes to interpreting the actions of your coworkers. I understand that you might want to keep your private life private but you don't seem to want to interact with coworkers at all on a personal level. Tip: Work is a lot more fun when you get on with your colleagues. Nobody's telling you to reveal your innermost thoughts or talk in length about your personal issues. But a bit of banter, friendly conversations, nothing wrong with that.
I said nothing about being harassed was just surprised someone would be stupid enough tell a coworker they saw their profile on a dating site.
I've seen several of my coworkers on Tinder and I've never mentioned it to them and they've never mentioned it to me, but I also don't really talk to any of those guys. I think if we were on friendlier terms it probably would've come up in conversation. I don't think I would be that bothered if someone asked me about it either way.
Hi OP. I agree with a few of the posters here. You do seem paranoid that everybody is talking about you. Have you been to a counselor about this issue? I'm not trying to ridicule you. There's nothing wrong with talking to a counselor about why you think everyone is talking about you behind your back.
You can't be 100% sure that your co-worker was showing the other women your dating profile. Lots of people use online dating. Maybe your co-worker did want to talk about your online dating experience. You could have played it off with something like "oh, we should talk about experiences sometime." Nothing wrong with that. Your response is to get defensive. Are you the only guy in the office?
He shouldn't be dating coworkers in the first place.
Maybe, maybe not - it depends on the circumstances. My wife would be the first to argue the point, as I met her at work.
Even if he doesn't want to date her, she does have friends she could introduce. The fact is, he cut off a potential path for no reason whatsoever. And we all know how easy dating is after college.
It never hurts to be polite, which could have been the best way to respond. Even when someone is trying to put you down, being polite just takes the steam out of them.
Best thing for him to do is stop acting like he is in grade school and reacting negatively to the world around him.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
He shouldn't be dating coworkers in the first place.
That wasn't the opportunity he missed. I have no idea why you think that is what I was referring to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reds37win
Maybe, maybe not - it depends on the circumstances. My wife would be the first to argue the point, as I met her at work.
Even if he doesn't want to date her, she does have friends she could introduce. The fact is, he cut off a potential path for no reason whatsoever. And we all know how easy dating is after college.
It never hurts to be polite, which could have been the best way to respond. Even when someone is trying to put you down, being polite just takes the steam out of them.
Best thing for him to do is stop acting like he is in grade school and reacting negatively to the world around him.
Exactly. There was opportunity to:
a) Build a social rapport with coworkers, almost always a good idea, relationship building is critical for professional success in most every field.
b) Potentially be introduced to people that might be a good match.
c) Receive feedback on said profile.
d) To show he's a lighthearted and fun dude.
Opportunities missed.
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