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Why does this have to be a competition? They both live in the same apartment complex, so it's not unusual that they'd see each other and be friendly. There was a pool party happening at their complex. It's not like they made plans to hang out together independent of you. For her, seeing your friend yesterday involved no more effort than going downstairs. If you don't want her to talk to your friend without you there you can have that conversation, but I doubt it will go well.
I agree (also agree with your previous post). Middle of the work week, feeling a little tired... travelling to hit a bar (including getting ready) or having a few casual beers at a pool party where I live? Pool party hands down. I might feel differently if either the gf or the friend (or both) would have had to travel to get to the pool party but they both live there! We don't know if there are issues in the relationship - perhaps they don't see each other often or she has a habit of cancelling plans etc. - but just going of the information that we have, I don't see the big deal.
True. However, it should be noted that she is the only one that let me know they were hanging out at the pool. I believe that her intentions were innocent. But I'm still trying to wrap my mind around why my buddy would bail on me, and then exclusively invite her to hang out at the pool with him.
I think your girl is fine. Your buddy, on the other hand, probably has some intentions that are not in your best interest.
True. However, it should be noted that she is the only one that let me know they were hanging out at the pool. I believe that her intentions were innocent. But I'm still trying to wrap my mind around why my buddy would bail on me, and then exclusively invite her to hang out at the pool with him.
Because you rescheduled and moved the time of the initial meeting at the bar. He may not have wanted to stay out late, or maybe he was going to meet you straight after work at the agreed time but then couldn't be bothered waiting around after you delayed meeting - there could many reasons as to why he no longer felt like going to a bar. The party is where BOTH of them live. If I was heading home and noticed that there was a pool party at my complex, of course I would contact a friend/someone I get along with also lived there, to see if they would want to grab a beer or two!
Because you rescheduled and moved the time of the initial meeting at the bar. He may not have wanted to stay out late, or maybe he was going to meet you straight after work at the agreed time but then couldn't be bothered waiting around after you delayed meeting - there could many reasons as to why he no longer felt like going to a bar. The party is where BOTH of them live. If I was heading home and noticed that there was a pool party at my complex, of course I would contact a friend/someone I get along with also lived there, to see if they would want to grab a beer or two!
That's not the point at all.
He exclusively invited my GF to the pool after he bailed on me. When I invited my GF, the plan was always to go around 7. I don't mind that my friend bailed on me. Heck, I don't mind if they are hanging out at the pool and I couldn't go after I was invited. I am concerned that my buddy, who bailed, invited my GF to the pool, but didn't invite me. Put yourself in my shoes and let that sink in.
He exclusively invited my GF to the pool after he bailed on me. When I invited my GF, the plan was always to go around 7. I don't mind that my friend bailed on me. Heck, I don't mind if they are hanging out at the pool and I couldn't go after I was invited. I am concerned that my buddy, who bailed, invited my GF to the pool, but didn't invite me. Put yourself in my shoes and let that sink in.
Was he aware that you were still meeting the other friend? Do you live nearby? Maybe he just wanted to grab a drink or two, then head home so didn't see the point asking you as he wasn't staying out long and you don't live there. Honestly, if this was my friend, I wouldn't feel concerned. But I trust my friends... does he have a history of hitting on women already in relationships? Do you trust him in general?
Was he aware that you were still meeting the other friend?
No, not at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Summer_Rain
Do you live nearby?
Yes, I'm not that far away. A 15 minute drive. But my office and work function were even closer to them than my home. I spend ample time at my GF's place throughout the week.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Summer_Rain
Maybe he just wanted to grab a drink or two, then head home so didn't see the point asking you as he wasn't staying out long and you don't live there. Honestly, if this was my friend, I wouldn't feel concerned. But I trust my friends... does he have a history of hitting on women already in relationships? Do you trust him in general?
I honestly don't know him that well. I've known him for the past six years or so, but on a very casual basis. We have hung out in the past a few times per year maybe, in a group of friends. We are not super close at this point.
This could be a problem when your buddy starts hanging around with her more and more and she doesn't see it for what it is. You can't control her and tell her what to do, but this is probably going to make you uncomfortable. Then, if you start making a big deal about it, it will put pressure on your relationship. After that, she's probably going to start talking to him about the problems you guys are having with each other. Of course, he will be there for her when she needs him to listen. After that this goes one of two ways... he makes a move, but she keeps him as her emotional tampon and nothing happens... or (well you know the rest in the second scenario).
Was he aware that you were still meeting the other friend? Do you live nearby? Maybe he just wanted to grab a drink or two, then head home so didn't see the point asking you as he wasn't staying out long and you don't live there. Honestly, if this was my friend, I wouldn't feel concerned. But I trust my friends... does he have a history of hitting on women already in relationships? Do you trust him in general?
But if Buddy is at the pool party with GF, isn't it likely that she told him, "I just got a text from SQL, he's not coming here because he's still meeting Other Guy at the bar." Why would he feel the need to invite you to the pool party that he already knows you're not coming to?
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