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I have been with the same person for seven years now. We have been through some amazing experiences and some horrendous lows. The beginning was phenomenal and everything I could have dreamed of. I found out he was using prescriptions. I was innocent and thought we could move past it. He went in and out of recovery. One random day out of the six months we had not been intimate I get pregnant. I didn't believe it at first. Reality set in and eventually I had to leave him. We were convinced by family to get back together for our child and continue to try and make things work. I grew up in a house of lies, so I was already predisposed to hostility. Our relationship became ugly and unkind words were exchanged daily. The drug use was prevelant,yet I lacked the support and courage to leave. I felt sorry for myself. I thought I had a tremendously hard and sexual traumatic childhood, that I some how didn't deserve this. I believed it wasn't really happening and things would just work themselves out.."they always do!". I was told consistently. Nothing has changed. He uses cocaine and lies to my face. He admits it one week later, because he is twisted or feels guilty. I was looking for a place to stay, but my credit is bad. I asked to stay with friends and family, but they offer a week or two. I feel helpless. I called Some local shelters and they were either full or didn't accept my plea for help. I need solid advice, not just leave or go to counseling. Duh, we tried that. He went to rehab, we had family counseling, AA, Al-anon and prayer that's their solution. I'm losing my mind and about to lose my job, if this is how I'm having to live and cope daily. I'm terrified.
Al-Anon is very effective for many people. There is some research out there that prayer and/or meditation are effective stress relievers for people. Their brains actually change.
The reason I mention that is because when one is in an ongoing stressful situation one can sometimes not see a way out. There is a way. The reality is though that we don't know where you live or what kinds of services might be available in your area.
Does he use around your child? You could demand he leave instead of leaving yourself.
One solution may be to find a cheap motel that allows you to pay weekly, another idea may be to sleep in your car for a while until you figure things out. You can join a local gym and use their showers.
If you don't have the money for a cheap motel or a car, than maybe you can go to a 24 hour laundromat (I'm just throwing idea out here), and sit in there all night until your husband leaves for work. The point is that you need out of that environment.
I don't know your personal beliefs, but maybe you should consider an abortion (if you are not against them) because it sounds like this is not a situation that you should bring a child into.
Ultimately, you need to find a friend or family member, or co-worker, someone who you can get mental, emotional, as well as financial support until you get yourself stable.
Not to get into your personal life or to play the blame game, but the fact that your family is not allowing you to stay with them for longer than a week tells me that your problem "maybe" more than just with your husband.
Would you consider adoption? It might help you get back on your feet, in that the adoptive parents might help with your living expenses during your pregnancy. It doesn't like a good environment to bring a child into.
I have been with the same person for seven years now. We have been through some amazing experiences and some horrendous lows. The beginning was phenomenal and everything I could have dreamed of. I found out he was using prescriptions. I was innocent and thought we could move past it. He went in and out of recovery. One random day out of the six months we had not been intimate I get pregnant. I didn't believe it at first. Reality set in and eventually I had to leave him. We were convinced by family to get back together for our child and continue to try and make things work. I grew up in a house of lies, so I was already predisposed to hostility. Our relationship became ugly and unkind words were exchanged daily. The drug use was prevelant,yet I lacked the support and courage to leave. I felt sorry for myself. I thought I had a tremendously hard and sexual traumatic childhood, that I some how didn't deserve this. I believed it wasn't really happening and things would just work themselves out.."they always do!". I was told consistently. Nothing has changed. He uses cocaine and lies to my face. He admits it one week later, because he is twisted or feels guilty. I was looking for a place to stay, but my credit is bad. I asked to stay with friends and family, but they offer a week or two. I feel helpless. I called Some local shelters and they were either full or didn't accept my plea for help. I need solid advice, not just leave or go to counseling. Duh, we tried that. He went to rehab, we had family counseling, AA, Al-anon and prayer that's their solution. I'm losing my mind and about to lose my job, if this is how I'm having to live and cope daily. I'm terrified.
is your name Maria or did you cheat on him? I am confused.
Please consider adoption. Your child doesn't deserve to grow up in such a mess.
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