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I know, that's what I was thinking too. You really do tell the truth, Ruth!
I'm not sure what American dating is like, but usually with British dating, if you are 'going out' with someone, you don't usually see other people at the same time. Some people would regard this as cheating. Unless it's some pre-arranged thing that you both agree on?
The smorgasboard offered by online dating makes it different. It has its own rules. The process usually narrows the field down to one after a couple of dates each, anyway, though not always.
The smorgasboard offered by online dating makes it different. It has its own rules. The process usually narrows the field down to one after a couple of dates each, anyway, though not always.
This is one of the reasons I don't like the dating scene. People spread themselves out amongst several different potentials.
Ideally, I would like to be able to know if someone is long term potential by the 3rd date. If I can't, maybe I'm doing something wrong. I would imagine that I will have 2 more dates with each of these 3 women. That should be sufficient to make a choice.
This is one of the reasons I don't like the dating scene. People spread themselves out amongst several different potentials.
Ideally, I would like to be able to know if someone is long term potential by the 3rd date. If I can't, maybe I'm doing something wrong. I would imagine that I will have 2 more dates with each of these 3 women. That should be sufficient to make a choice.
Unless they're all great women who have their act together. Then what do you do?
The smorgasboard offered by online dating makes it different. It has its own rules. The process usually narrows the field down to one after a couple of dates each, anyway, though not always.
Ah, right. So there's lots of dating of different people at the beginning. Then when people decide to become exclusive, it's just the two of them. As long as it's all understood from the start, I suppose.
So he shouldn't get upset if one of the women is seeing other men too - if that's the norm.
Unless they're all great women who have their act together. Then what do you do?
Well, good question. I don't know that I have a complete answer. I guess just identify the potential problematic idiosyncrasies in each woman to determine if they will cause a failure in the relationship long term. Also, I would hope that I will form a natural bond with whichever woman I'm most compatible with.
Ah, right. So there's lots of dating of different people at the beginning. Then when people decide to become exclusive, it's just the two of them. As long as it's all understood from the start, I suppose.
So he shouldn't get upset if one of the women is seeing other men too - if that's the norm.
It doesn't upset me right now that she's seeing 2 other men. Now, if we get to a point where I feel we need to be exclusive and she continue to see other men, that will signify the end of relationship.
I think both people should naturally feel when it's time to be exclusive.
Well, good question. I don't know that I have a complete answer. I guess just identify the potential problematic idiosyncrasies in each woman to determine if they will cause a failure in the relationship long term. Also, I would hope that I will form a natural bond with whichever woman I'm most compatible with.
Yet they're supposed to not date other people (and identify the potential problematic idiosyncrasies in each man to determine if they will cause a failure in the relationship long term) or else it will be a mark against them?
I don't see a legitimate question here. I see blogging. You should begin a blog if you haven't already. You know nobody here can advise you what to do or not do regarding any of these women about whom we know a couple of lines of text each from some stranger on a forum. People have advised you just not to date right now until you get some of your issues straightened out but you've ignored that. So you're not looking for help, you're looking to have people listen to you; you need attention, very badly. For that I recommend a blog. Best of luck moving forward. You really do come across as very needy so if it were me (this is just me) that's where I'd be starting, and I'd be asking the therapist about this specifically - it seems like it could offer clues. Again, good luck.
The Lawyer and nurse both know I'm dating other people. The child therapist does not.
Thank you
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocky_Raccoon
This is one of the reasons I don't like the dating scene. People spread themselves out amongst several different potentials.
Ideally, I would like to be able to know if someone is long term potential by the 3rd date. If I can't, maybe I'm doing something wrong. I would imagine that I will have 2 more dates with each of these 3 women. That should be sufficient to make a choice.
In fairness mate if you yourself weren't multi dating and we're just seeing one of them you wouldn't even need to start a thread as you would have just gone for her lock, stock and barrel ....
Instead of debating and deciding on " several potentials " .....your part of the same hypocrisy mate LOL.
Yet they're supposed to not date other people (and identify the potential problematic idiosyncrasies in each man to determine if they will cause a failure in the relationship long term) or else it will be a mark against them?
People have advised you just not to date right now until you get some of your issues straightened out but you've ignored that.
No, it's not a mark against her for dating other guys. I didn't say that. I said if she continues to date them after we've been on a few dates, that could be an issue.
Also, I haven't ignored anyone. I'm simply being realistic about who I am and what my needs are. I also believe that I can learn by dating. I can work through my issues while also having positive dating experiences.
In fairness mate if you yourself weren't multi dating and we're just seeing one of them you wouldn't even need to start a thread as you would have just gone for her lock, stock and barrel ....
Instead of debating and deciding on " several potentials " .....your part of the same hypocrisy mate LOL.
There's truth to what you said. And I'm not ignorant of the hypocrisy. But, I'm not able to choose one at this point. Especially given the fact that I really, really like the lawyer. But the child therapist is pretty amazing too. I'm fairly certain the nurse will be the first elimination.
Like I said, this is what I don't like about dating. It sort of devalues people by treating them like interviewees rather than whole people.
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LOL.