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So, as most of you know, I'm fairly new to the dating scene after being married for 18 years. 45 years old. My ex-wife and I did date other people during the last 4 years of our marriage. One of those relationships for me was a 2 year long relationship. After that ended I took a long break until about 4 months ago when I started OLD.
I've met some very nice girls through OLD. Most recently there are 3 women who I am actively dating. I need to narrow that down to 1, so I'm hoping I can get some input from my fellow CD members.
Prospect #1- The Lawyer: We hit it off amazingly and have tons in common. The only issue I see with her is that she's too busy. I'm a little bit on the needy side, so it's easy for me to feel rejected and cast aside. I'm thinking her busy work schedule could very well cause problems down the road.
Prospect #2- The Nurse: We went out last night on our first date. Had a wonderful time. She talked about what it's like to work on the cancer ward. She loves her job and I can tell she's very good at it. The primary problem I see with her is that she's currently dating 2 other men. That's kind of a big deal to me. If we go on further dates and she doesn't cut these guys loose, I can't continue to date her.
Prospect #3- The Child Therapist: Enter the new front runner. We played golf today...and she's a dam good golfer which is a major turn on. I love golf and there's nothing sexier than having a woman who can hang with you on the links. We drank beers, we both smoked cigars, we kissed a little, we talked about what we want from life, what we're looking for in partners. We talked about psychology which is a field I'm very interested in. She's sweet, sexy and smart. She also has a very flexible work schedule, so I'm thinking we can spend a lot of time together.
So those are my three prospects. All 3 want to continue dating me and I will continue to date them until I've decided on one. The Lawyer is still my favorite all around but the work thing is not really conducive to what I'm looking for.
Number 3 seems to have the most of what you want and need. I suspect you have the most experience with the lawyer which is what puts her in first place right now.
I have a feeling you might change that preference after more exposure to the other two.
Consider the importance of shared hobbies and joys, as you get older. My parents were both golfers and it was something they did a lot together in their 50s and up.
Enjoy them, but think about what you really need as you do. Good luck!
Prospect #2- The Nurse: We went out last night on our first date. Had a wonderful time. She talked about what it's like to work on the cancer ward. She loves her job and I can tell she's very good at it. The primary problem I see with her is that she's currently dating 2 other men. That's kind of a big deal to me. If we go on further dates and she doesn't cut these guys loose, I can't continue to date her.
Prospect #3- The Child Therapist: Enter the new front runner. We played golf today...and she's a dam good golfer which is a major turn on. I love golf and there's nothing sexier than having a woman who can hang with you on the links. We drank beers, we both smoked cigars, we kissed a little, we talked about what we want from life, what we're looking for in partners. We talked about psychology which is a field I'm very interested in. She's sweet, sexy and smart. She also has a very flexible work schedule, so I'm thinking we can spend a lot of time together.
So those are my three prospects. All 3 want to continue dating me and I will continue to date them until I've decided on one. The Lawyer is still my favorite all around but the work thing is not really conducive to what I'm looking for.
Input greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Do you see any contradictions there ^^^ ?
I think it's too bad you'd pass on the lawyer, whom you were very jazzed about and seemingly had a ton in common with, out of your clinginess issues. One would hope those could be overcome. But I guess you're trying to be realistic, so maybe it's a good thing you've crossed her off the list. Except....you haven't. You're going to continue seeing her anyway.
BTW, referring to women who are between 30 and 40, pushing middle age, as "girls" makes you sound like you're in highschool.
Just a quick question mate ..... Do any of them know you are multi dating and have a problem with it?
They all sound great ... You seem to have the chemistry with them all, however If you believe you are on the needy side and time together is important I'd pursue whichever you feel would have the most free time and more importantly whichever is more receptive and welcoming of your " neediness "
Number 3 seems to have the most of what you want and need. I suspect you have the most experience with the lawyer which is what puts her in first place right now.
I have a feeling you might change that preference after more exposure to the other two.
Consider the importance of shared hobbies and joys, as you get older. My parents were both golfers and it was something they did a lot together in their 50s and up.
Enjoy them, but think about what you really need as you do. Good luck!
Cool. Thanks for the reply.
The Lawyer and Nurse are both very active, outdoorsy, yoga, the nurse does crossfit. I like that, but I don't want a female version of me.
The child therapist likes her down time a lot. She likes to chill at home and watch movies and is a bit more of a homebody. She's more chill. That's a good balance for me. I like the idea that she doesn't feel she needs to be going 100mph all the time.
Just a quick question mate ..... Do any of them know you are multi dating and have a problem with it?
They all sound great ... You seem to have the chemistry with them all, however If you believe you are on the needy side and time together is important I'd pursue whichever you feel would have the most free time and more importantly whichever is more receptive and welcoming of your " neediness "
The Lawyer and nurse both know I'm dating other people. The child therapist does not.
But I guess you're trying to be realistic, so maybe it's a good thing you've crossed her off the list. Except....you haven't. You're going to continue seeing her anyway.
I can't make an educated decision at this point. I need more time with each of them. I'm simply trying to point out the potential problematic characteristics of each woman. Because these issues won't just disappear over time.
I think it's too bad you'd pass on the lawyer, whom you were very jazzed about and seemingly had a ton in common with, out of your clinginess issues. One would hope those could be overcome. But I guess you're trying to be realistic, so maybe it's a good thing you've crossed her off the list. Except....you haven't. You're going to continue seeing her anyway.
BTW, referring to women who are between 30 and 40, pushing middle age, as "girls" makes you sound like you're in highschool.
I know, that's what I was thinking too. You really do tell the truth, Ruth!
I'm not sure what American dating is like, but usually with British dating, if you are 'going out' with someone, you don't usually see other people at the same time. Some people would regard this as cheating. Unless it's some pre-arranged thing that you both agree on?
Side note, humorous interjection:
Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in the hot tub at my gym and a young woman joined me and started reading a book. I like to hit the gym around 3pm because there's hardly anyone there and I like peace and quiet.
Anyway, she was reading a book entitled "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover." It's about masculine archetypes. So I asked her what she was reading, we discussed it a little bit and started to have a nice conversation. She said she was visiting her parents and that she lives in Oregon. I was getting fairly close to asking her out and then in walks her dad, who happens to be one of my racquetball partners.
Now, if you don't know much about what goes on in the guys locker rooms, I can assure you her dad and I have exchanged many a story about our our experiences with women, in graphic detail.
Needless to say, I excused myself from the hot tub and hit the shower.
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