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I don't get it. If he tells her upfront that he does want to marry then how is he stringing her along? That does not make much sense. Stringing implies promising marriage but not having any intentions to marry.
However, if the man continues dating the woman, knowing that she wants a commitment/marriage someday and knowing that she is becoming emotionally bonded to him, then I think it falls under the definition of a cad, because it displays a deliberate disregard for her feelings, dreams and hopes.
Also, he may have become emotionally attached too, and he doesn't want to give up what he has with her. He is sending mixed signals and toying with her emotions by not ending the relationship, in my opinion. So even though he warned her upfront, and she is a fool to allow it to happen, I still think the man is not doing right by her and a cad. I've seen this happen a lot.
Who said go out with a toothless meth-head or old guy with tattoo sleeves?
The reason I suggested you may be dismissing guys who approach you that don't immediately set off bells and whistles is because I had just read your thoughts in "concerned if boyfriend is geeky or nerdy" about the type of guy you would/wouldn't go out with:
"I am not at all attracted to the nerdy/ geeky type, so I would never be in this predicament." "A guy with an English major falls under the nerdy/ geeky category."
If you have so many other options you can afford to cancel out being attracted to someone, or giving them a chance because they were an English major...or you perceive them as nerdy, then you're doing just fine, there's no advice here that help you get off of the stringer.
Well she doesn't want a nerdy English major!
It does seem like this all comes full circle each time to ask: what kind of nice /stable/ attractive/ financially secure /child loving guy is going to put up with this craziness. Whats the point?
Yeah I am not really attracted to nerdy guys, but they are not attracted to me either. We don't have much to talk about. I can have conversations with guys that fix cars and build houses.
I think a huge issue is I have never dated someone new. Every single guy I have had a relationship with, I have either known them all through school, they grew up with my brother or they were a friend of someone I am friends with.
And amongst the perpetual single women, we fish from the same pond. Seriously, it is like playing hot potato with the same group of men. They are not working out with any of us, so I tend to think it is not just me with the issue.
To answer the other poster regarding my dress... I most certainly do not dress provocative or like a hooker. I wear no makeup, and have worn a skirt or dress twice since 2003. I wear jeans, shorts, tshirts, hoodies and boots or tennis shoes. Every single day. No tattoos. No piercings except two holes in my ears.
It might be worth taking a good, long look at why the "good men" are interested in dating your peers but not interested in dating you. It's obvious they're interested in dating. Why, then, are they rejecting you?
Well my peers married to good men, are all celebrating their 15th- 20 year wedding anniversaries.
I don't get it. If he tells her upfront that he does want to marry then how is he stringing her along? That does not make much sense. Stringing implies promising marriage but not having any intentions to marry.
I agree if they say it up front. Neither of mine did. It was always we will marry after "x". Then it would never happen.
This is why kids suck. You cant even try to have some happiness for yourself. Doesn't mean you cant care properly for them. Wait until they get older? HOW older? Being a single parent must suck.
It does.
I am always told to put my life on hold until they are grown. Then what? They will be grown and out of the house and I will be alone, with maybe a few old cats. I assume the dog will be gone by then.
You're only late 30s now!!!.... Plenty of time LOL
I know. But everyone always says wait until my kids are grown. I will be in my 50's when My youngest leaves home. Well right now he says he is living with me forever...lol.
Are you kidding? Being a parent is the most successful part of my life. When my daughter was 13 her father and I got divorced. He wasn't there for her, but I can't imagine anything being more important than taking care of, and setting an example for the human being I chose to bring into this world. She will be the best part of my life, no matter what happens after this.
I did something really well, I raised an intelligent, educated, braces off and paid for, drivers license, first car, high school, college, first boyfriend and now living with him and inviting me over for dinner, lady.
Whew!
It was all worth whatever sacrifice not dating may have been, I didn't do it right the first time, so I needed all that time to figure it out, understand where I went wrong, what I even wanted anymore. I had been with the same person since the time I was 18, all my adult life, there was always going to be time for that. You can only help make and adult once, though, and you wont look back and regret it.
Sorry to rant, and I really don't mean to judge, if one is not happy with their dating life though, or brings the same mistake home over and over...give it a rest already! Do your relationship-learning when the kids don't need you.
Lol big difference between being left with a 13 year old and being left with a 2 year old. Whether you want to admit it or not, your daughter was already fairly well raised at 13 with both parents. You just did the finishing by yourself.
This is why kids suck. You cant even try to have some happiness for yourself. Doesn't mean you cant care properly for them. Wait until they get older? HOW older? Being a single parent must suck.
If your "happiness" involves creating an unstable environment, by employing the "throw it all against the wall and see what sticks" approach... then yeah, it's best for all involved that you work on yourself before introducing a string of temporary mates into your children's lives. Kids aren't the ones that suck; adults who maintains a patten of unhealthy relationships kind of do.
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LOL
