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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskaboy
It's almost hilarious. Like nature is playing a prank on us all. I'm not complaining. It's like reliving a period of life I had thought passed me by. It's right there. I will say I do seriously take care of myself and most women guess my age about 34-38, so they might and often do think I'm younger. But still. Back in the day, most young women ages say 22-28, would never even consider dating a guy 35-40. Now? They go after it. Like literally set out to find a man in that age range. When I've went on dates with women in their twenties, or early thirties, I always ask them why and they all respond with the same variable answers. They say guys their age do not know how to be gentlemen and are so immature and most have no notion or desire to date seriously. And most say they suck in bed as well. three second boys. I hear that a lot too. Whatever the trend is, no complaints here.
Each to their own, I personally don't care for it, but that's what is available in the world.
My son was 21 when he was taken for such a ride. It was very European and all, but silly him thought a 35 yr old was actually as interested in him as he was in her. Several of us warned him not to develop feelings, or to bail if he did because that wasn't what it was about for her. After 4-5 months even his dim, high fiving friends could see him heading for a fall. And he fell.
I realize some guys get in and out (pun intended) with their feelings wrapped safely (once more), but sometimes those pesky feelings get into the act and they get hurt. She used my son a couple of months after he clearly started feeling something for her, and then dumped him with a message on his phone once she found a new toy. Sometimes it works out like that, and it's a little irritating that we celebrate or at least tacitly approve of behavior that would be seen as predatory if the sexes were reversed.
Of course my son played it off as no big deal at the time. It was 10 years before he admitted how hurt he was, and how stupid he felt for not seeing it for what it was. My son was not a socially backward kid. He had dated quite a bit in HS and up until he met her. I think our assumption that it's all good if the guy is getting some is off base. Sure, he was an adult, but if a 37 year old man said he only liked women as young as 20 and no older than 25, there'd be a different response. I don't get that.
Did your son get gifts from her though? Lavish dinners or perhaps a free place to live so that he could save money? I consider that the point of these relationships honestly. My friend treats her boy toys VERY well. Even let's them drive her fancy cars. Nice dinners, etc.
I'm attracted to guys just a little younger than I am (though not exclusively), but I can't imagine being with someone 20 years younger. I know, blah blah maturity blah blah don't judge all young people blah blah leagues ahead of SO MANY 40-year-olds one knows blah blah up ALL NIGHT just talking...everything from Renaissance art to sushi to Nietzsche! Hummuh-nuh hummuh-nuh never connected on this level before yadda yadda.
Sorry, from my POV: dude has still only lived 20-something years, in the final analysis. I don't care how much of an "old soul" he is or how many hours we sat up talking (in preparation for him to dive into my pants as he has heard the old chicks are easy if you can convince them you love to have deep conversations). For me: just nope.
Everyone is different, though. But I'm sure you already knew that.
Did your son get gifts from her though? Lavish dinners or perhaps a free place to live so that he could save money? I consider that the point of these relationships honestly. My friend treats her boy toys VERY well. Even let's them drive her fancy cars. Nice dinners, etc.
The point I was making was that while he was her boy toy, he mistakenly thought she saw him as a real person with feelings, which left him vulnerable. Sure, when things started out he seemed to know what to expect, but as time went by he "felt" differently, and that is a potential in these pairings. I mean it's always a potential when people start something casual and one person often gets hurt, even when both parties are close to the same age, or when the younger person is at least late 20s and has had more relationship experience. Feelings still happen. But when one party is 21 and the other is 35, that's really not a fair fight.
So if he gained anything material from this. I don't know, but he was hurt by the experience, and I'm not sure driving her BMW (it was a 7 series) or a few gifts was really worth it. He didn't act like it was.
Canada. God people are insufferable pricks. She is home schooled because she is a very very determined actress at her local theater and wants to break into films. I am a budding director hoping to make it big. Our lifestyles are different than most of you middle class people with a certain conservative mentality. We look at best 2 years apart and we have tonne in common, not the least of those things being our profession. Being in the same work, passionately involved in it just attracts people to each other. We would discuss films, watch them all day when not working on ours. And it will be like this 15 years from now...
I want her in my films. I want to remake Barbarella and cast her someday. I should plan on shooting my feature with my own money sometime in 2018 when she will be "legal" in whatever sense the stupid jurisdiction requires. I am 85 December born and she 98 May. Women my age.....pff....way too mature(one had even been divorced once before 30). They are used goods. Mentally, Spiritually and physically. Its my life, my choice you know. A nearly 40 year old woman finding 24 year olds stimulating and everyone is congratulating her and I am 30 and she almost 18 and everyone wets their pants.
Besides its very common in my industry. Roman Polanski dated Natasha Kinzki when she was 15 and he was 40 plus. I disagree with anything like that but people move in circles and the circles of art are very different. I know a 20 year old with a 60 year old who looks old enough to be her father.....But that is life. You find someone fascinating, you try to find interests and passions and take it from there. When I am 33 and she 21 will you judge me? No, because at the end of the day these are just numbers.
Realize that circumstances are different for each and every one of us.
I'm 37 years old and I love younger guys like 20-25. I wonder if this is just a phase. Is there anyone else that is only attracted to people significantly younger. It's kinda annoying lol.
The only thing odd here is that you are ONLY attracted to men that much younger than you.
Is there some psychological underpinning to this?
Not being critical. I tend to like younger men more often than older ones, but I cannot say as I have exclusively liked men a lot younger than me. I like men in general.
I am married. My husband is 13 years younger than me. But, I didn't like him because he was so much younger. I actually thought he was maybe 5-7 years younger than me (max) when we met.
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I am 31, my woman is 17....14 year gap. I am exclusively attracted to younger(below 20) women ONLY. So can you....It is only natural.
Nope. It may be natural to find younger people attractive, but when you're in the "barely legal" category, you have a lot more going on that just "attraction."
Given the way you just claimed her, I'm going to say "control" is what you like.
You need to feel in control and smarter than your partners.
Which means you are likely an insecure person.
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Im 47 and im atracted to younger men too, but every man is unique and love is love.
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