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OK marcuston, it is true that some women are attracted to the not-so-nice guys but they are the ones(if no other problems) that take them on as a challenge, thinking "I can tame this guy...or...beat him at his own game"
She is usually wrong on either count.
The majority of woman want and appreciate a genuinely 'nice'' guy, not a wimp, not a pushover, but simply one that is well mannered,respectful and polite by nature.
I was asking the poster to paint a picture of what it would look like for a man to show kindness to a woman with no expectations of attraction. I was asking them to describe how that would look, in order to differentiate from a scenario in which the man is only pretending to be nice to get laid.
I don't know if women are interested in me or not. Maybe they are, who knows, but I'm gay, it doesn't matter.
It would look like a guy listening to a woman as a friend. It would look like a guy holding a door for a women who is carrying a bunch of stuff in her arms. It would look like a guy helping a woman friend to move. It might look like a guy giving a woman who is a co-worker a ride to work if her car broke down.
Do you need more examples?
Notice the above are things he would also do for guys. Being nice does not mean he wants to get laid.
Starbucks? Please, that's so last year. I'm surprised the point isn't getting through. What I'm saying is, niceness does not seem to be an attraction factor to women. Whereas, dysfunctional as it may be, jerk behavior has a far better track record overall in terms of being attractive to women.
First off, women, as a group, are not *anything*. The women you know or have heard stories about may have certain traits, but no, women in general, don't all have these traits. Simple stuff.
Second, a handful of women on here have told you that, for them, niceness is a factor in someone being attractive. I would even venture to say that most people, no matter gender or sexual orientation, find that being with someone who is not a jerk is far more pleasurable than the alternative. More simple stuff.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcuston
And if you're going to make this about you by telling me that you're not like that, don't. That's cheating.
So, you can make this about you and your experiences and worldview, and those responding can't?
Starbucks? , dysfunctional as it may be, jerk behavior has a far better track record overall in terms of being attractive to women.
How would you know? Have you taken a major survey, involving women of all socio-economic groups, geographical regions, cultures, and a variety of psychological profiles? Have you surveyed "nice guys" who are both single (like your hapless friends) and married? How did all those nice married guys get to the altar, if they're not in demand?
OP, sorry, but by harping on your point, you're not making any sense. I thought your OP was an open inquiry; you said you were interested in generating an interesting discussion. But now it turns out that you have an agenda for some reason, and you're trying to herd us into a corner. Well, it's not going to work. It's rude to dismiss everyone's message here, and frankly, it comes across as trollish. Are you really a gay guy (supposedly an impartial observer to male/female dynamics)? It's starting to seem doubtful.
Why have you only discussed this with your guy friends, without checking in with your women friends and/or relatives to get their opinion of what the guys are saying? That would be the natural thing to do, and yet, it hasn't occurred to you, as far as we know.
Are YOU in favour of treating people like crap? And how would you respond to someone treating YOU mean in the belief that it would keep YOU keen?
The saying has become popular because it works for a lot of men. Treat 'em nice keep 'em keen is not a popular saying. There's a reason why sayings become popular. Come on now, I'm a gay man and even I see this with my own eyes.
BTW, most women who fall for "bad guys" usually fall for those guys precisely because they acted extremely nice and caring in the beginning. That's how the "bad guys" get the women in the first place.
Most jerks don't start off a relationship by acting like jerks. The jerkiness only comes out once the woman is already involved and committed.
This is another thing that the clueless "nice guys" don't seem to understand.
The saying has become popular because it works for a lot of men. Treat 'em nice keep 'em keen is not a popular saying. There's a reason why sayings become popular. Come on now, I'm a gay man and even I see this with my own eyes.
Yes it might work for a few but the majority?.... no chance
Right again I'll ask.... so you would advise a bloke to treat a lady mean and like crap then?
Also I only treat women properly and don't exactly go without attention or dates... and so do pretty much most of the blokes I know ... how do you explain that?
BTW, most women who fall for "bad guys" usually fall for those guys precisely because they acted extremely nice and caring in the beginning. That's how the "bad guys" get the women in the first place.
Most jerks don't start off a relationship by acting like jerks. The jerkiness only comes out once the woman is already involved and committed.
This is another thing that the clueless "nice guys" don't seem to understand.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marcuston
The saying has become popular because it works for a lot of men. Treat 'em nice keep 'em keen is not a popular saying. There's a reason why sayings become popular. Come on now, I'm a gay man and even I see this with my own eyes.
It's not a popular saying. Maybe with your friends it is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcuston
"it doesn't apply to me" ---> not an argument, disproves nothing
"it doesn't apply to anyone I know" ---> not an argument, disproves nothing
What argument do you want then? You haven't proven anything at all, so there is nothing to disprove.
If you're treating your intro statement as a hypothesis, then incidents that reject or counter they hypothesis negate the hypothesis. That is part of the scientific method. Form a hypothesis, test the hypothesis, the results either reject the hypothesis or fail to reject the hypothesis. There have been multiple rejections of your hypothesis.
So, it is no longer a valid hypothesis.
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