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You don't see all the women who reject the jerks. They have to sift through a lot of women to find the ones who will put up with them. They wouldn't admit that, though, of course.
Starbucks? Please, that's so last year. I'm surprised the point isn't getting through. What I'm saying is, niceness does not seem to be an attraction factor to women. Whereas, dysfunctional as it may be, jerk behavior has a far better track record overall in terms of being attractive to women.
I'm not sure where you are getting this from. Just from your clueless single guy friends?
You don't see all the women who reject the jerks. They have to sift through a lot of women to find the ones who will put up with them. They wouldn't admit that, though, of course.
How would you know? Have you taken a major survey, involving women of all socio-economic groups, geographical regions, cultures, and a variety of psychological profiles? Have you surveyed "nice guys" who are both single (like your hapless friends) and married? How did all those nice married guys get to the altar, if they're not in demand?
OP, sorry, but by harping on your point, you're not making any sense. I thought your OP was an open inquiry; you said you were interested in generating an interesting discussion. But now it turns out that you have an agenda for some reason, and you're trying to herd us into a corner. Well, it's not going to work. It's rude to dismiss everyone's message here, and frankly, it comes across as trollish. Are you really a gay guy (supposedly an impartial observer to male/female dynamics)? It's starting to seem doubtful.
Why have you only discussed this with your guy friends, without checking in with your women friends and/or relatives to get their opinion of what the guys are saying? That would be the natural thing to do, and yet, it hasn't occurred to you, as far as we know.
As far as "we" know? i didn't know you were the designated spokesperson.
OK, then. There is your answer for your "friends". All they have to do is to start acting this way.
You can become a dating coach. Give all your clients this advice. They will do it and be successful with women and you will become in demand as a dating coach.
All the guys that I have been attracted to have been nice. Which is different.
Actually it's not different, that's precisely the point. All the guys that I have been attracted to (as a woman) have been nice but I am not going to be attracted to every guy that is nice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcuston
What I'm saying is, niceness does not seem to be an attraction factor to women. Whereas, dysfunctional as it may be, jerk behavior has a far better track record overall in terms of being attractive to women.
Actually niceness IS an attraction factor for me but it is only ONE factor. There is so much more to attraction than "just" niceness.
As for jerk behaviour having a better record? I can only speak for myself and go from what I experience from the women in my life - I can't think of one example where jerk behaviour was more successful. I imagine that it might be successful with insecure women or women who have issues... Other times, it may have not been apparent initially that the guy was a jerk but he showed his true colours later on in the relationship. Women aren't mind readers. But I don't think that women overall prefer jerk behaviour to niceness.
Do gay guys ever end up dating jerks? Has jerk behaviour a better track record overall in terms of being attractive to gay men? I imagine the answer to these questions are also answers that you can give when answering the same questions about women.
The saying has become popular because it works for a lot of men. Treat 'em nice keep 'em keen is not a popular saying. There's a reason why sayings become popular. Come on now, I'm a gay man and even I see this with my own eyes.
I heard the phrase once from someone who wasn't using it as part of the punchline for a joke. It was just as good as him having a neon "stay away" sign hovering over his head.
It's not a popular saying. Maybe with your friends it is.
What argument do you want then? You haven't proven anything at all, so there is nothing to disprove.
If you're treating your intro statement as a hypothesis, then incidents that reject or counter they hypothesis negate the hypothesis. That is part of the scientific method. Form a hypothesis, test the hypothesis, the results either reject the hypothesis or fail to reject the hypothesis. There have been multiple rejections of your hypothesis.
So, it is no longer a valid hypothesis.
It is a popular saying. That is why you are familiar with it.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73
I heard the phrase once from someone who wasn't using it as part of the punchline for a joke. It was just as good as him having a neon "stay away" sign hovering over his head.
Yeah, I've only heard it as a joke. Never seriously, and usually an ill advised one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcuston
It is a popular saying. That is why you are familiar with it.
I've heard it, as I said above, but it is not popular, and only have heard it as a joke. Probably in a movie or TV.
If you know people that say it seriously stop hanging with them. They are a**holes.
But you're hypothesis has been rejected, per the standards of the scientific method, so do you wish to revise it?
What does this mean? I don't know what this means. The guys you know say women reject them because they're nice. You have based your OP and subsequent posts on that limited info. You don't regard that as "cheating" (whatever that means), yet cryptically, if posters here (male and female) tell you they've never observed women stampeding to the jerk guys, you call that cheating?
Please explain yourself. Yet again, you're not making sense. We cannot proceed with this discussion if you're going to apply your criteria, whatever they are, inconsistently.
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