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Old 10-01-2016, 12:22 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,050 times
Reputation: 10

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I can only speak for myself, this may not apply to you, but at least for me, whenever I send a simple greeting to a woman on a dating site, 99% of the time they don't respond. Literally 99%. I tested this by sending greetings to 100 women. Only 1 responded.

One day, just to see what would happen, I send mild insults to 100 women, and I got 71 responses. I then responded to all 71 with another mild insult, and 59 responded. I continued doing this and long story short, most of them kept responding.

So why is it, at least for me anyway, that insults get more responses than simple, polite greetings? I would have thought that insults would result in very few responses, and greetings with way more.

I know that the problem is with me. It's not that there's anything wrong with saying hi, but maybe it's my profile or something. Again, it's all my fault obviously, I just want to know what I could be doing wrong.

It's got to be something that I said in my profile, or maybe my photos are bad, but obviously it's something I did. I take full responsibility. I'm not going to blame anyone but myself.

Sometimes I wonder if it's them, maybe they think they're too good for "hello", but then I remember that whatever results you get in life, it's all because of you. No one else can be blamed.

I really want a girlfriend, help

 
Old 10-01-2016, 10:37 PM
 
1,193 posts, read 1,023,256 times
Reputation: 427
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopjuanpablo View Post
I can only speak for myself, this may not apply to you, but at least for me, whenever I send a simple greeting to a woman on a dating site, 99% of the time they don't respond. Literally 99%. I tested this by sending greetings to 100 women. Only 1 responded.

One day, just to see what would happen, I send mild insults to 100 women, and I got 71 responses. I then responded to all 71 with another mild insult, and 59 responded. I continued doing this and long story short, most of them kept responding.

So why is it, at least for me anyway, that insults get more responses than simple, polite greetings? I would have thought that insults would result in very few responses, and greetings with way more.

I know that the problem is with me. It's not that there's anything wrong with saying hi, but maybe it's my profile or something. Again, it's all my fault obviously, I just want to know what I could be doing wrong.

It's got to be something that I said in my profile, or maybe my photos are bad, but obviously it's something I did. I take full responsibility. I'm not going to blame anyone but myself.

Sometimes I wonder if it's them, maybe they think they're too good for "hello", but then I remember that whatever results you get in life, it's all because of you. No one else can be blamed.

I really want a girlfriend, help


Because it doesn't feel like it's coming from a actual person. It's ROBOTIC
 
Old 10-01-2016, 10:47 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115942
One-syllable messages are ignored as a rule of thumb. "S-up?" and "hi" don't cut it. You have to display some thoughtfulness, demonstrate that you read the person's profile, and have a brain.
 
Old 10-01-2016, 10:49 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,766,074 times
Reputation: 25362
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
One-syllable messages are ignored as a rule of thumb. "S-up?" and "hi" don't cut it. You have to display some thoughtfulness, demonstrate that you read the person's profile, and have a brain.
This.
 
Old 10-01-2016, 10:50 PM
 
2,333 posts, read 1,483,061 times
Reputation: 922
You need to be more direct and to-the-point online. You have to remember that women may get dozens of messages a day, and it can be really monotonous going through all of them. They can realistically only respond to a few of the dozen, and it's going to be the ones that grab their attention or intrigue them. A "hi" doesn't really do that... try saying something substantive. A compliment, an opinion about something in their profile, etc. - something that can actually start a conversation.
 
Old 10-01-2016, 10:57 PM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,913,090 times
Reputation: 15255
"Hi..(insert insult)... My name is (insert thy name)"

Do both.
 
Old 10-01-2016, 10:59 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,575 posts, read 5,175,502 times
Reputation: 7010
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
One-syllable messages are ignored as a rule of thumb. "S-up?" and "hi" don't cut it. You have to display some thoughtfulness, demonstrate that you read the person's profile, and have a brain.
This. It just reads as lazy. There's no effort there, and something that could have been sent to 20 other women that day. If you like a specific woman, send her a specific message showing your interest. Comment on her profile, or a topic from her profile

Those generic "Hi" messages won't do. There's nothing special about a message that you can, and probably have, send to 50 other women. Then it starts off slow and awkward with small talk.

If someone wants to have conversation, and they make the first move, then it's on them to set the pace. So they should have more to say than just "Hi."

This came up in Everybody Loves Raymond. And I agreed with what Ray had to say about it. Debra wants to sit and talk. So Ray agrees to it, and sits down.
Quote:
Debra "So, go ahead."
Ray "Oh no. You always do this. You say *Let's talk*, then you throw it to me. When you say that, you should have topics ready."

Last edited by HappyRain; 10-01-2016 at 11:17 PM..
 
Old 10-01-2016, 11:23 PM
 
1,481 posts, read 1,222,033 times
Reputation: 1777
Your hi is competing with a thousand other hi's. What makes you think yours should stand out?

Send open ended messages that allow the reader to respond and that show you've actually taken the time to read their profile.
 
Old 10-01-2016, 11:44 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,147,660 times
Reputation: 27047
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopjuanpablo View Post
I can only speak for myself, this may not apply to you, but at least for me, whenever I send a simple greeting to a woman on a dating site, 99% of the time they don't respond. Literally 99%. I tested this by sending greetings to 100 women. Only 1 responded.

One day, just to see what would happen, I send mild insults to 100 women, and I got 71 responses. I then responded to all 71 with another mild insult, and 59 responded. I continued doing this and long story short, most of them kept responding.

So why is it, at least for me anyway, that insults get more responses than simple, polite greetings? I would have thought that insults would result in very few responses, and greetings with way more.

I know that the problem is with me. It's not that there's anything wrong with saying hi, but maybe it's my profile or something. Again, it's all my fault obviously, I just want to know what I could be doing wrong.

It's got to be something that I said in my profile, or maybe my photos are bad, but obviously it's something I did. I take full responsibility. I'm not going to blame anyone but myself.

Sometimes I wonder if it's them, maybe they think they're too good for "hello", but then I remember that whatever results you get in life, it's all because of you. No one else can be blamed.

I really want a girlfriend, help
If you really wanted a serious relationship you wouldn't be playing games with people online. You seem to be doing an experiment. And, you may be coming across like a troll on these dating sites. If that isn't your intention, rethink your approach.
 
Old 10-01-2016, 11:46 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,412,743 times
Reputation: 53067
Comes off as lazy, generic, and it seems likely that you probably sent out blanket "Hi's" to dozens or more people.

People who are serious about online dating are more prone to respond to people who indicate that they've actually read profiles, versus just spamming every profile they come across with quick n' easy monosyllabic messages.
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