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I've introduced guys I was just dating to friends if there was a party or something, and I've introduced my DH to most of my friends. For those he doesn't know, it hasn't been on purpose, they just haven't come to together at the right time. /shrug
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My question was more towards the 2 people that actually are in the relationship and whether or not they introduce their 3 month, 1 year, or 10 year bf/gf to their friends.
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Yes, on all time frames you've listed, on my side (me introducing to my friends). Ive pretty much introduced everyone to all with nothing to hide, and no worries about social BS. However, "no" in one past situation that was out of my control:
A lady I was in a LTR with, continuously avoided introducing me to two of her best friends all through a 1.5 year long relationship. Yet she would complain to them regularly about me and air our dirty laundry (gossip) to them....the whole time. They in turn having never met me in person, would have all kinds of negative ideas about me, and would tell her so. This went on for months even when I voiced my displeasure. I persisted about meeting these two....but some how the SO would find a way to avoid-evade it. Mind you, I had a great rapport with her family....but she never allowed me around these two friends of hers. Needless to say, I let her go.......of course there were other issues as well.
So, at least in my view.....if someone is "hiding" you from others......buyer beware.
I still don't know all my husbands friends, he doesn't know mine. I just don't see the point if introducing someone just for the sake of making sure they know each other. I don't think I would have much in common with my husbands friends, and vice versa. I am not hiding anything, neither is he, we just don't feel the need to be joined at the hip constantly. He does know my two close friends, but that being said, rarely hangs out with us.
When I know I have a possible future with somebody, I want my friends to meet him. I also want them to check him out because my judgment isn't always the best and I trust my friends.
However, that doesn't mean he will tag along every time I see my friends. I have girls I hang out with and we hang out alone without him. Only if there is a bigger event, he'll come with me.
I have (male) coworkers I sometimes hang out with after work and wouldn't want to bore him with work talk (he is welcome to join), but if there is an event, he'll show up.
He on the other side always wants to take me to his friends and I often decline. He says "it's no fun without you" and I say "Well, you need some boy time." He introduced me to all his friends within 3 weeks of knowing him, which I think was a bit fast.
From my experience, it is very important for their social circles to like you - not that this was the question - because friends have a tremendous amount of influence on your partner's opinions about you. Your partner's friends will be the one encouraging him/her to dump you and find "someone better" or encourage them that "she/he is not so bad after all"
Any friends who are close to me and important in my life meet my spouse. There's no way they wouldn't.
I used to apprqich the topic in this manner. However, as I started dating in my 30's, it seemed to be a bigger deal to meet the friends in the eyes of the person I dated.
Up until my 30's, it was pretty standard to meet the friends. Perhaps not right away, but if social functions popped up that weren't specifically guys only or gals only, it was pretty common to hang out together.
I still don't know all my husbands friends, he doesn't know mine. I just don't see the point if introducing someone just for the sake of making sure they know each other. I don't think I would have much in common with my husbands friends, and vice versa. I am not hiding anything, neither is he, we just don't feel the need to be joined at the hip constantly. He does know my two close friends, but that being said, rarely hangs out with us.
I understand this.
But, it sounds like he has met your friends. I would assume at some point, a dinner out, or drinks, or some social/fun event existed in which you wanted to hang out with your friend(s) and husband.
From my experience, it is very important for their social circles to like you - not that this was the question - because friends have a tremendous amount of influence on your partner's opinions about you. Your partner's friends will be the one encouraging him/her to dump you and find "someone better" or encourage them that "she/he is not so bad after all"
I agree with this thought process as well.
I think things get clouded when the great friend is used as a sounding board and the potential for a bad impression occurs.
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