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Exactly and especially as you see each other more often and it become more "casual" and more "couple like" I can't imagine a woman not wanting to pitch in, at least some of the time, old school or not, to be honest.
That's the normal trajectory. But the OP's situation started out already "casual" if you could call it that: she was a hookup or FWB or something, and they morphed into a dating couple. Not that that excuses her, but she kind of already started out being the gf. And he started out a bit intensely, it seems, with dinners, concerts and at least a couple of road trips to resorts. That was his bad, and then I gather that he felt awkward about saying anything as the dating (and paying) continued, so now he's asking us how to dial it all back, and get her involved in paying.
He says his budget is fried, so that's all he has to do, is tell her his budget is fried, and he can't afford those activities anymore, or not with the same frequency, unless she pays half the time.
I got married in college so honestly don't know. Do people in their 30s and 40s have "will you be my girlfriend" talks nowadays? I've had long-term boyfriends but not enough where I know what the ritual is to make it "real." Unless you mean engagement? If so, never mind.
Generally for me it was always "should we be exclusive," not "boyfriend/girlfriend".
I'm in my late 20s now and see a woman in her early 30s. It started off as a hookup and transitioned into seeing each other 1 to 3 times a week with occasional sleepovers and road trips over the last 2 months.
I've payed for all of our dates and road trips, including hotel stays at resorts, fuel, food, tickets for events, etc. I think I make more money than her, but I won't ask since its not my business. I'm concerned that I set the expectation that I will pay for everything.
How do I set the expectation that I want her to start paying her fair share for some of our dates, trips, and encounters? I don't care about having a 50/50 split, but chipping in for fuel, hotels, dates, food, etc would be great.
Well, she thinks you're dating. Maybe she's traditional that way. But if you need a little financial help, why don't you just ask?
They're sleeping together and going on vacations. That's not courting.
This crossed my mind, too. The relationship is in ambiguous territory, undefined. Is she a gf? A F-buddy with benefits? Is the relationship headed anywhere, other than the Poor House for him? Are they just having fun? That's fine, but why should he be her Santa Claus?
The anti feminist thing is something I've only ever seen here (like many things). Who the heck wants to date someone that believes they should be a second class citizen?
I have to think, and hope, every guy that has a daughter would automatically become a feminist. The idea that there are fathers of daughters out there that think his daughter shouldn't have equal rights and opportunities in their lives is just nauseating.
Of course women should have equal rights and opportunities.
The problem is most feminists don't want equal-they want equal when things are unfair against them but want better when things are currently better.
They want equal pay for equal work (which they should get) but don't want to pay on a date.
They preach equality but then want nonsense like title 9 for sports scholarships- ie they want equal college scholarships for sports while being drastically worse at them.
Are you dating her with the intention to propose marriage?
OR is she just a friend?
If she's "just a friend" then why not say "Hey I love to go out and do things together, but I need you to offer to help pay expenses next time...." or something along those lines.
I assume you feel she is just a friend and you are not thinking of her as a future wife, since if you really loved her that much, money wouldn't be an issue.
Money wouldn't be an issue is fairy tale Disney nonsense.
One sided relationships are not sustainable. If your needs are not being met, or if you feel that you are the only one giving and nothing is being reciprocated, then you should just stop seeing her.
Personally, I would never tell someone I was dating that it was time to "start paying". If I wasn't happy with what they voluntarily had to offer me, I would move on. Accept or reject. It's really that simple.
Of course women should have equal rights and opportunities.
The problem is most feminists don't want equal-they want equal when things are unfair against them but want better when things are currently better.
They want equal pay for equal work (which they should get) but don't want to pay on a date.
They preach equality but then want nonsense like title 9 for sports scholarships- ie they want equal college scholarships for sports while being drastically worse at them.
I don't know ANY "feminists" who DON'T want to pay for dates.
I don't know ANY "feminists" who DON'T want to pay for dates.
#silliness
I wasn't aware that there was even a connection between feminism and paying for dates.
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