My boyfriend is a good guy but is verbally abusive

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by SweetT87

I really appreciate all of your advice... I don't know why I stay. When things are good they're great but when it's bad it's awful. He says I make him act the way he does. Whenever something is bothering me i can never get it off my chest w/of fear of him getting angry about it. He calls me stupid, he says things and acts like he never said it. He plays the victim. Whenever he hit me it's I made him do it.

This is all abusers' excuse! This is a flashing neon red flag, OP! Make an escape plan. See if you can get help from friends or relatives. Get out before it gets worse.

It WILL get worse over time, don't kid yourself. And don't fall for promises that he'll work on his anger issues, or pleading, or even crying (some abusers turn on the waterworks to prevent a breakup, yes, even the tough guys!). Or if he suddenly comes up with rent money as a ploy. He won't change, he'll just disguise himself temporarily, so that you think things are getting better. It's a trap, OP. Your physical integrity and emotional well-being are at stake.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

If you're a regular poster here who is a woman and has common sense, riddle me this: Why do some women not just stay with a-holes like the OP describes, but defend them?

Look up "Stockholm Syndrome".

[wall st kid]

Originally Posted by SweetT87

My boyfriend is really great at times. When it comes to housework I don't have to do anything. But his attitude is terrible, i think he has anger issues. When we argue he calls me horrible names and he flips everything around on me. He never apologizes. He has even gotten physical with me multiple times. I know i should leave, i try to. I just need strangers to talk to who won't judge me.

Mod note: Two threads have been merged into one here. If some posts seem out of order, that is why.

isn't everyone 'great at times'?

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by SweetT87

Me and my boyfriend live together... He great around the house. What bothers me is if I don't ask him for any help with the bills he doesn't say anything. He says he shouldn't help pay 1/2 the rent because his name isn't on the lease. I feel like we have been together long enough to know when bills are due and if you really wanted to help you would ask. He always brings up the fact that I make more than him. He says I'm money hungry but all I'm asking for him to go 1/2. I don't understand how I'm a gold digger bc i ask him to help with bills. Then when he get mad he yells about how he has soooo much money... I understand I make more but does that mean i have to pay more. Nobody can live for free. Please tell me if I'm wrong??? He acts like I'm a money hungry girl and try to make me feel bad about it.

This is very manipulative. Notice how he makes everything out to be your fault. His outbursts are your fault. If you ask him to pay his share for rent/utilities, it's because YOU'RE selfish and money-grubbing. In reality, HE is the "gold-digger" insofar as he's using you for free rent.

This is psychological abuse. He turns everything around, even reasonable requests, and makes it your fault.