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Old 10-20-2016, 01:23 AM
 
21 posts, read 21,398 times
Reputation: 77

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I know this may sound like a silly complaint to some, but I am just curious. My fiancé is 43 and I know with a man her age she could likely find a guy that is able to take her on really fancy dates and places out. But even though I do have a decent career going I can't afford to take her to some very upscale restaurant or a trip to Fiji or the like. She does make more than me and is doing well in her own career and I do enjoy taking her out to nicer places when I can afford it. As well as surprising her with things I know she likes.

But for you, does a guy taking you to nicer places matter much? Even though she can afford to do more herself as the man I really like being the one that gets to initiate it and pay. She herself hasn't said anything, just curious what other women, especially those in her age group feel.
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Old 10-20-2016, 01:56 AM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,704 posts, read 1,830,445 times
Reputation: 4826
The best dates are about the shared experience more than the price tag.

For me, expensive nights out are enjoyed on special ocassions but certainly not a requirement, especially if it causes financial strain. That would take all the fun out of it.

It's appreciated when a man wants to share what he has, more than it being about how much he has to share.
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Old 10-20-2016, 02:12 AM
 
Location: San Francisco
21,539 posts, read 8,722,464 times
Reputation: 64788
I think that if a woman has a good income and she wants to enjoy higher-end travel, entertainment and restaurants, then she can always offer to go Dutch or at least chip in. That's what DH and I did when we were dating, and I had no problem at all. I actually felt liberated because I had an equal say in making the arrangements, and I never felt any guilt over the money that was spent on a date because it was my money, too. Share and share alike, that's what I say.

It doesn't bother me if a man has modest means and doesn't want to spend a lot just as long as he has a generous spirit and isn't stingy. I'd rather date him than a flashy big spender type who is trying too hard to impress me.

What's important is that the date is fun and enjoyable for both parties. You don't have to spend a lot to have a good time, especially when you're with the right one.
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Old 10-20-2016, 03:48 AM
 
Location: I can be anywhere...
127 posts, read 90,638 times
Reputation: 122
I am more concerned with the quality of the date (i.e. compatibility, how the person behaved, is he/she respectful?) than I am of how much money is spent.
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Old 10-20-2016, 04:06 AM
 
7,588 posts, read 4,159,881 times
Reputation: 6946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youngerdude View Post
I know this may sound like a silly complaint to some, but I am just curious. My fiancé is 43 and I know with a man her age she could likely find a guy that is able to take her on really fancy dates and places out. But even though I do have a decent career going I can't afford to take her to some very upscale restaurant or a trip to Fiji or the like. She does make more than me and is doing well in her own career and I do enjoy taking her out to nicer places when I can afford it. As well as surprising her with things I know she likes.

But for you, does a guy taking you to nicer places matter much? Even though she can afford to do more herself as the man I really like being the one that gets to initiate it and pay. She herself hasn't said anything, just curious what other women, especially those in her age group feel.
If you took me out to an expensive place and really could not afford it, I would not appreciate it. It shows a lack of maturity.
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Old 10-20-2016, 05:13 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,033,533 times
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Not at all. Ironically my best date, was meeting for a cup of coffee and talking for three hours. My worst was $100 meal at a local sushi restaurant. I wanted to escape out of a bathroom window.
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Old 10-20-2016, 05:23 AM
 
Location: I can be anywhere...
127 posts, read 90,638 times
Reputation: 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Not at all. Ironically my best date, was meeting for a cup of coffee and talking for three hours. My worst was $100 meal at a local sushi restaurant. I wanted to escape out of a bathroom window.
What happened to make you want to escape, unless you'd rather not say?
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Old 10-20-2016, 05:50 AM
 
1,278 posts, read 1,115,136 times
Reputation: 4004
I'm usually in the position of making more money than the guy, so for me it's more about creativity than cost. For example, if he picked me up one day and took me apple picking and then on a hayride and we finished up the night carving pumpkins, that would be really fun and much appreciated by me with a very small cost to him.

That reminds me of the time when my bf at the time surprised me on my birthday by taking me to see the local high school's production of Cats. I'd always wanted to see Cats and I had a blast. The kids did such a great job that I forgot I was watching high school kids. And the tickets were only like $10 each. It was such a blast!

But if the guy isn't creative like that then that's a bummer cause there's a ton of stuff that can be dates on very little cash output. Expensive restaurants and trips are overrated. That should be saved for very special occasions.
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Old 10-20-2016, 06:18 AM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,363,404 times
Reputation: 50379
Not really...I hope to learn about his personality and whether he is stingy vs. frugal vs. bad with money...along with what he likes to do for fun and how he interacts with other people.

If he's constantly griping about the cost of things then I don't want that for a night, much less a month or a lifetime - but other than that, the money spent is pretty minor compared to all the rest.
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Old 10-20-2016, 06:18 AM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,607,365 times
Reputation: 17654
I've never been taken anywhere "fancier" than Ruth's Chris, for example. And that was for my birthday after I'd been dating the guy for months. I did have a married (supposedly separated) guy take me on a few nice dates but that didn't make me overlook the fact that he wasn't really single. So no, I have no expectation of fancy/expensive dates, and I'm fine with chain restaurants.
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