Men who are bad at approaching women.... (conversation, personal, relations)
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I'm kind of experiencing something similar right now.
Basically, a girl approached me at the gym and gave me her number (saying that she wanted to be gym buddies). I wasn't sure what to make of this so we went out a couple times. I made a move and she said that she's not looking to date now and that the entire time, she just wanted to be friends.
Honestly, we really don't match up very well in terms of anything really (political outlook, views on life, looks....she's about a head taller than me, which is, I suspect, the primary reason for the initial rejection). But, after talking for many hours, I found out that the majority of her boyfriends she gave a hard time to at the beginning. So I'll probably keep going for it if possible, just as kind of an experiment.
And since we live in the same apartment complex and I'm at the gym practically everyday, I'll just invite her (since I'll be there anyway).
So, basically, I want to see if I could get her and it's pretty convenient setup for that (ie: I don't really have to go out of my way). That's how OP should look at things: as an experiment.
Seriously, why do some women do this?
This is the primary reason why a lot of guys are often very persistent after being rejected, and some women end up complaining about it. It's due to situations like that.
This is the primary reason why a lot of guys are often very persistent after being rejected, and some women end up complaining about it. It's due to situations like yours.
I don't know.
Why did she approach me initially and give me her number? Why did she go out with me in situations that appeared to be date-like? Don't know.
In any event, I'll continue to pursue until she stops responding (and by "pursue", I mean invite her to the gym where I would be anyway). It's really no sweat off my ass at this point and I've never tried this before.
When I met my husband, he was 36yo and had never had a serious relationship. We've been married now for 21 years. Nothing wrong with him. He just needed to find the right person.
I'm kind of experiencing something similar right now.
Basically, a girl approached me at the gym and gave me her number (saying that she wanted to be gym buddies). I wasn't sure what to make of this so we went out a couple times. I made a move and she said that she's not looking to date now and that the entire time, she just wanted to be friends.
Honestly, we really don't match up very well in terms of anything really (political outlook, views on life, looks....she's about a head taller than me, which is, I suspect, the primary reason for the initial rejection). But, after talking for many hours, I found out that the majority of her boyfriends she gave a hard time to at the beginning. So I'll probably keep going for it if possible, just as kind of an experiment.
And since we live in the same apartment complex and I'm at the gym practically everyday, I'll just invite her (since I'll be there anyway).
So, basically, I want to see if I could get her and it's pretty convenient setup for that (ie: I don't really have to go out of my way). That's how OP should look at things: as an experiment.
Question. You match up on zero values or compatibility and she shows a pretty awful personality - a tease, vague, and with a history of jerking boyfriends around.
So why would you have even entertained the loosest possible thought of dating her?
Question. You match up on zero values or compatibility and she shows a pretty awful personality - a tease, vague, and with a history of jerking boyfriends around.
So why would you have even entertained the loosest possible thought of dating her?
I didn't know all of this until today.
I met her about 2 weeks ago at the gym. We've met there a few times since and had some good conversations. Then we went out to dinner on Tuesday. All seemed well through all of this.
We went out wine tasting today and I guess the alcohol allowed her to be very honest about things.
I met her about 2 weeks ago at the gym. We've met there a few times since and had some good conversations. Then we went out to dinner on Tuesday. All seemed well through all of this.
We went out wine tasting today and I guess the alcohol allowed her to be very honest about things.
So now you know you are not at all compatible.
So again, given this, why even loosely hope for more?
I don't buy the "experiment" thing, are you a sociologist?
So again, given this, why even loosely hope for more?
I wouldn't say that I'm "hoping for more".
My family seems to think that I'm single because I do not pursue enough and give up too easily. I'd like to begin putting this belief to rest.
I do not believe that this will work nor do I particularly want it to. But I figure it's a convenient situation to say "See, fam, I tried my best with this one and she still wasn't interested".
My family seems to think that I'm single because I do not pursue enough and give up too easily. I'd like to begin putting this belief to rest.
I do not believe that this will work nor do I particularly want it to. But I figure it's a convenient situation to say "See, fam, I tried my best with this one and she still wasn't interested".
So what is the experiment?
You have said before you have approached many women. Why would this one woman be the one who makes your family back off? Why would trying with her convince them if trying with all those others didn't?
I don't buy the "experiment" thing, are you a sociologist?
No. But many people in my life keep telling me that persistence works. I don't think that it really does.
Also, I'm trying to basically prove to myself that I'm undesirable to women in the US and that I absolutely need to go abroad to find a woman. To do this, I am sparing no avenue so that I am convinced that I've tried everything possible.
This includes:
- Meeting women at the gym
- Meeting women at yoga
- Having professional pictures taken and meeting women online
- Meeting women at bars/clubs (one of my coworkers has a brother that's a big DJ in the area so I plan on utilizing that when I get to know her better)
- Meeting women while teaching graduate school classes (I get paid for this, but I'm mostly doing it to meet women)
- Converting to Mormonism (yes, I'm going this far.....but I'm also genuinely interested in the religion)
- Being overly persistent with women that show even the slightest bit of interest
I figure if I do all of this for 2-3 years and still can't meet a woman that's interested in me, then the problem is simply that I'm not desirable in the US, which is something that I've already come to terms with.
You have said before you have approached many women. Why would this one woman be the one who makes your family back off? Why would trying with her convince them if trying with all those others didn't?
This just doesn't make much sense.
The experiment is simply being persistent. All this will entail is texting her "Wanna go to the gym?", then asking her out when I see her and likely being rejected multiple times going forward. The rejection is not a big deal. I've been rejected many many times.
My family asserts that I don't pursue ever, which is the problem. This will show that pursuing doesn't do anything.
And, as I said, it's convenient to pursue with her since I don't have to invest much time or energy into doing so.
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