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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bikegal
I don't see where you got that...just because I didn't mention that I live with my dad (because it wasn't relevant to the post). I've lived here for years, and paid half the rent for the first few years while I was in school. And I did live here for a year by myself. But right now I don't have a job or any money, so that's why I can't move out.
I get that because you said you're capable of moving and gave specific reasons why you didn't want to move (as opposed to couldn't move). So you lost your job in the last 3 weeks? I'm sorry.
No - you - or anyone in that situation - should concentrate on getting their life together. Sure, it's depressing but all your energy should be directed at life issues. How can you "entertain" a date on even the most basic level? Is that even fair when you have so little for even yourself?
No - you - or anyone in that situation - should concentrate on getting their life together. Sure, it's depressing but all your energy should be directed at life issues. How can you "entertain" a date on even the most basic level? Is that even fair when you have so little for even yourself?
Yeah, that's true. Which is what I've been doing. I went on a couple dates a few months ago, but now, I'll sit and think, what the hell do I think I'm doing trying to have a boyfriend or something. Why do I think I deserve one? Why would anyone even want to date me? Ugh. One of them, after the first date, wanted me to be his girlfriend. I felt bad for even turning someone down, like how crappy is that, to be rejected by such a loser? Lol. But then, I'm also not one of those people that thinks your identity is your job, or how successful you are. But I also didn't want to end up using him, like they did to me. Or drag him into my crap.
The guys you date are more selective? Dating someone who's unemployed, doesn't have a car, and lives with her dad is being selective? There's a lot more going on here that you're not telling us, OP. These guys aren't choosing you because you're smart and caring and can carry on good conversations, because they wouldn't know any of that about you by looking at you. How are you meeting these guys? Are you doing online dating? Is that why you suddenly started dating 2 years ago, you decided to go online?
Ha. Uh...well, by that same token...if they can't find someone they like well enough, that's employed, has their own place, etc. (and vice versa)...then I must be somewhat appealing, anyway. But who knows. I think, generally the older you get, (myself included) if you're still single, it's because you're more selective, or either can't have or don't want a relationship.
Yes, I think I already said that. And obviously, you would need to talk and get to know each other to find out what someone's like, whether you meet them online or not.
I suppose there's still a bit of a double-standard, in that it would be worse for a guy. But would you date a girl in that situation(that also doesn't have any money)? I know it's not the most appealing situation, especially for someone who's 30, which is why I've pretty much stopped dating. But I'm just wondering if that's why things haven't worked out before, despite guys acting like I'm so wonderful....I don't think I'm a "typical" girl though...not that there is one, but to me it just seems like most girls are either boring and/or snooty, superficial and wear too much makeup...lol. Which is probably why I get along better with guys. I'm smart, funny, interesting, educated, caring...if a guy just wanted a pretty, employed gal, there's plenty of those. I think I'm more selective, as are the guys I date, because it's hard to find someone interesting and smart enough to be able to have good conversations with. So I feel like you should be more interested in the person than their situation...although I can see how it would bother someone else.
It's just confusing, because I didn't really start dating until a couple years ago, and when I did I was surprised that good looking guys actually liked me...lol. Since before I always felt ugly, and guys didn't really seem interested. Then the last couple guys I dated were really smart, funny, successful, educated...so I was even more shocked that they liked me, saying things like "what are the chances of you dating me? I thought someone like you would have been taken years ago..." and "girls like you don't come after guys like me very often". Which is also weird, because if they thought that, then why be over it in a month? I've just chalked it up to, guys apparently can be enamored with pretty much any girl early on, for a short time...but then after the novelty wears off, they get bored (or maybe it's the guys you find online :/)...which is another reason I've stopped dating. But then I wonder if it was my situation...which in a sense, I don't feel bad, if it weeds people out that care more about that than the person themselves...but I also understand how it would bother someone after a while. It's also sort of funny, because they act like I'm such a catch, and then basically dump me...obviously thinking they can do better, yet are still single and online, and, just as I suspected, after a few months or a year, they look at my profile again...lol. Like, oh, guess you couldn't do better then...lol.
Is that what employers are looking for? Most say they want someone energetic, outgoing, etc. Which is great if you're one of those people, but not so great for quiet introverts that get exhausted being around people all day.
It is living with daddy, being broke, no job but an attitude.
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