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Location: Born in L.A. - NYC is Second Home - Rustbelt is Home Base
1,607 posts, read 1,085,244 times
Reputation: 1372
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockstar21
Women often complain that men are too afraid to approach to conversate, i know it's traditional for men to break the ice at first but why won't women do the same?
Such a shame that some men assume if a woman approaches them, that she must somehow be damaged.
Good Lord! I would love it! Yes, the chase is good, but only when I know a woman is interested. The possibility of rejection keeps me from approaching, so if a woman were to approach me, fantastic!
She can make the choice to approach if she wants. I have a choice on how to feel about it and I'm being honest I'm going to look at her side-eyed and wonder if something is arye, especially the more physically attractive she is. Again on paper, I would dream of being approached by someone super gorgeous but if she actually does it my first thought will be what the hell?
What this quote says to me is that you have very low-self esteem/worth AND that you think very little of women in general.
If a woman is very beautiful physically she will get approached by dozens of guys, but you DON'T believe that she can go, "Well these guys are all hot, but 'The Dissenter' was the only guy here who helped that cripple child when he did not have to; all the hot guys just walked by the struggling child. I think I will go approach him because I find his soul more beautiful than any of the male models vying for me and integrity and character are more important to me than looks or money when looking for someone to share my life with."
Dissenter I have a feeling that you don't believe (though I am sure you will argue differently) that a woman can be attractive and yet still have a beautiful heart. I know movies, TV, books and even music videos would have us all believe the most really attractive people are shallow and finding a gorgeous woman that cares about more than looks and money is rare, but I believe that the opposite is true... any man with a grandmother, mother, sister, or daughter should believe the opposite is true.
Also have a little more confidence in your own worth (I'm sure you will argue that you do). If an attractive woman ask you out just go along with it and be the best you that you can be. I am not sure if you believe in love and marriage or not; but wouldn't you rather spend the rest of your life with a woman who sees all your faults and flaws yet still finds you attractive or just a woman who you are more attractive than?
Most mature adult men and women know that physical attraction is only one piece of multilayered construct of having a good relationship. Most mature adults will take a 6 that makes them laugh and feel good about themselves over a 10 that just looks good... but here is the part Dissenter that you may not believe or accept... to the person seeking more than just sex or someone on their arm to brag to friends about, that 6 is MORE attractive than the 10 because they offer so much more.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by qwy
What this quote says to me is that you have very low-self esteem/worth AND that you think very little of women in general.
If a woman is very beautiful physically she will get approached by dozens of guys, but you DON'T believe that she can go, "Well these guys are all hot, but 'The Dissenter' was the only guy here who helped that cripple child when he did not have to; all the hot guys just walked by the struggling child. I think I will go approach him because I find his soul more beautiful than any of the male models vying for me and integrity and character are more important to me than looks or money when looking for someone to share my life with."
Dissenter I have a feeling that you don't believe (though I am sure you will argue differently) that a woman can be attractive and yet still have a beautiful heart. I know movies, TV, books and even music videos would have us all believe the most really attractive people are shallow and finding a gorgeous woman that cares about more than looks and money is rare, but I believe that the opposite is true... any man with a grandmother, mother, sister, or daughter should believe the opposite is true.
Also have a little more confidence in your own worth (I'm sure you will argue that you do). If an attractive woman ask you out just go along with it and be the best you that you can be. I am not sure if you believe in love and marriage or not; but wouldn't you rather spend the rest of your life with a woman who sees all your faults and flaws yet still finds you attractive or just a woman who you are more attractive than?
Most mature adult men and women know that physical attraction is only one piece of multilayered construct of having a good relationship. Most mature adults will take a 6 that makes them laugh and feel good about themselves over a 10 that just looks good... but here is the part Dissenter that you may not believe or accept... to the person seeking more than just sex or someone on their arm to brag to friends about, that 6 is MORE attractive than the 10 because they offer so much more.
Apparently you have all the answers and know me better than I do, don't know how that's possible, but I'm just gonna say your wrong and call it a night. Let me just leave you with the fact that the Kevin James and his hot wife love story is the exception and not the rule.
Apparently you have all the answers and know me better than I do, don't know how that's possible, but I'm just gonna say your wrong and call it a night. Let me just leave you with the fact that the Kevin James and his hot wife love story is the exception and not the rule.
And... you don't see the fact that when someone tried to offer you some positive advice you took it as a personal attack is a sign of insecurity and low self-esteem.
You are right, there is nothing I can say to you; but to wish you the best in life.
But that sexist phrase was coined by men, and is used in reference to other men. Not too many women use it, in my observation. I'd never even heard it until joining C-D.
Maybe she approaches you because she's sociable. Maybe at a party, say, or other gathering (church "fellowship" gathering, whatever), she's just making her way around the room, trying to meet people. Would that be different than if you saw a woman make a bee-line straight for you? What's so wrong with people talking to people they're attracted to? I thought it was the most natural thing in the world. I guess I was wrong....? Should I just hole up in a corner at gatherings, and not talk to anyone, except other women?
Exactly what Ruth said, agree 100000000% and you can talk to me anytime It's even better if you start it
In my experience, a man does not have to pursue a woman per say. But a man does have to be pursuing something. In fact, it is better for a man to be pursuing something other than women, like goals and careers in my experience.
It could be different for others.
common sense in the house!!! Absolutely, a man should have much more on his plate then just the opposite sex or same, whatever floats his boat.
I think it ultimately just depends on the woman. Some women are just more reserved (personality-wise) than others. (Just like not all guys' personalities are the same).
Personally I prefer for men to approach me because I am rather shy/reserved around people I don't know. So I need (and prefer) a more "assertive", outgoing type to initiate things.
I'm not chasing after a man, if a man can't man up and approach me then oh well.
Typical for most women to think that way
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