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People are wired a certain way..Im never gonna be life of the party go up to tons of strangers and talk to them guy..nor do I want to
She didn't say you had to be the life of the party and talk to "tons of strangers". She made a much more moderate statement than that, but you turned it into an extreme. She said you have to be outgoing, be open to talking to people. This can be done one at a time, just talk to maybe 3 people in the course of one gathering. There are other people in the crowd who are shy; you'd be helping them out to approach one and have a simple chat, later move on to someone else. That's really all most people do.
I never said for a guy to be in a relationship he has to be great looking..Where talking about women approaching a guy and for that to happen she has to find him physically attractive
That doesn't mean he has to be good-looking. He only has to be attractive in her eyes. This can be something as simple as having a warm smile, or a nerdy look, for women who are into that. You can't predict who might take a shine to you or anyone else. Some women go up to fat guys that are smiling and exuding warmth. Human psychology is complex. You can't predict how someone's going to react to a certain type.
She didn't say you had to be the life of the party and talk to "tons of strangers". She made a much more moderate statement than that, but you turned it into an extreme. She said you have to be outgoing, be open to talking to people. This can be done one at a time, just talk to maybe 3 people in the course of one gathering. There are other people in the crowd who are shy; you'd be helping them out to approach one and have a simple chat, later move on to someone else. That's really all most people do.
Yes.
Very, very few people are "the life of the party" or totally dominate the places they go, but MANY people are hooked up. It takes coming out of your shell, sure, but you don't have to be in a top hat and cane performing Vaudeville or doing magic tricks or something.
That doesn't mean he has to be good-looking. He only has to be attractive in her eyes. This can be something as simple as having a warm smile, or a nerdy look, for women who are into that. You can't predict who might take a shine to you or anyone else. Some women go up to fat guys that are smiling and exuding warmth. Human psychology is complex. You can't predict how someone's going to react to a certain type.
Yes.
He has to look like someone she would go out with. And who says she will only go out with an empirically "handsome" man?
As for the physical/looks, maybe it's just his eyes. Maybe it's his strong hands. Maybe it's something else. There can be one or two small things that really "grab" a woman. I have a couple...one is arms. The other is (controlled) facial hair. Don't ask me why. But the "rest" of the guy doesn't have to be a stud, LOL. Those things - and a groomed, "I care about myself at least to a degree" look - grab me. So does a nice smell.
Look around you at all the decidedly average (to be delicate about it) guys out there who have girlfriends/wives and you'll know I'm not just blowing smoke. This is actual; it is reality.
He has to look like someone she would go out with. And who says she will only go out with an empirically "handsome" man?
As for the physical/looks, maybe it's just his eyes. Maybe it's his strong hands. Maybe it's something else. There can be one or two small things that really "grab" a woman. I have a couple...one is arms. The other is (controlled) facial hair. Don't ask me why. But the "rest" of the guy doesn't have to be a stud, LOL. Those things - and a groomed, "I care about myself at least to a degree" look - grab me. So does a nice smell.
Look around you at all the decidedly average (to be delicate about it) guys out there who have girlfriends/wives and you'll know I'm not just blowing smoke. This is actual; it is reality.
It doesn't even have to be a physical attribute. It could be that a guy is a good storyteller and is attentive to the people around him. Or has a gentle touch with a child, or a quirky sense of humor. I've posted before that I've seen average-looking guys who are 5' tall or less be babe magnets. Attraction can be very counter-intuitive. It can seem to make no sense at all on the surface of it, where people are saying, "What does she see in HIM?!", because they don't know the guy beyond a superficial level.
He has to look like someone she would go out with. And who says she will only go out with an empirically "handsome" man?
As for the physical/looks, maybe it's just his eyes. Maybe it's his strong hands. Maybe it's something else. There can be one or two small things that really "grab" a woman. I have a couple...one is arms. The other is (controlled) facial hair. Don't ask me why. But the "rest" of the guy doesn't have to be a stud, LOL. Those things - and a groomed, "I care about myself at least to a degree" look - grab me. So does a nice smell.
Look around you at all the decidedly average (to be delicate about it) guys out there who have girlfriends/wives and you'll know I'm not just blowing smoke. This is actual; it is reality.
u arent wrong
i think the problem is with people like me and JBT , is when you essentially get 0 interest from women and you cant figure out why. especially when i dress well, listen to the woman speak, ask questions about her life and anything in general to get to know her, don't eye her body but look in her eyes gently, etc..
youd think at a certain point in time..you'd get lucky and have a woman show reciprocated interest in you...but that has not been the case with me.
ive gotten numbers plenty of times and those that havent ghosted or tried to make excuses have gone on dates with...but its never resulted in anything. can only recall one time where i went on more than 1 date with a girl that ended up fizzling out when she ghosted.
after a while...you just dont care anymore and start questioning everything and that maybe you just arent meant to be in a relationship or marry.
i think the only way i'll be in a relationship at this point is if the woman makes it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that shes into me and makes all the moves. thats the only way i see it...lol
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
This is brilliant. It is such a good time. Men...now is the time! And women, too, if you've been thinking about doing the approaching.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish
It's time to start making plans for New Years Eve, if you haven't already. Single women hate being dateless on NYE, it's equivalent to not having a date for the senior prom.
So men, this is a prime time to be asking out the single ladies you know. Make her day. Just do it!
I have a date this weekend. Already ahead of you. To be honest, I mistook a lull in communication for not being interested, but she contacted me when probably other women would have just kept it moving after a few days. So technically, she re-approached me and I was receptive to it. Maybe my theory of woman approaching gets broken here.
i think the problem is with people like me and JBT , is when you essentially get 0 interest from women and you cant figure out why. especially when i dress well, listen to the woman speak, ask questions about her life and anything in general to get to know her, don't eye her body but look in her eyes gently, etc..
youd think at a certain point in time..you'd get lucky and have a woman show reciprocated interest in you...but that has not been the case with me.
ive gotten numbers plenty of times and those that havent ghosted or tried to make excuses have gone on dates with...but its never resulted in anything. can only recall one time where i went on more than 1 date with a girl that ended up fizzling out when she ghosted.
after a while...you just dont care anymore and start questioning everything and that maybe you just arent meant to be in a relationship or marry.
i think the only way i'll be in a relationship at this point is if the woman makes it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that shes into me and makes all the moves. thats the only way i see it...lol
I totally agree with you and this is just one of those situations where most people can't relate or are purposely not trying to. I think it's the latter that's why I had to put some people on ignore.
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To be honest, I mistook a lull in communication for not being interested, but she contacted me when probably other women would have just kept it moving after a few days. So technically, she re-approached me and I was receptive to it. Maybe my theory of woman approaching gets broken here.
