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Memories! That was my jam. One of many, of course.
For some reason I feel as if "Here comes the Hotstepper" is a nice companion piece to "Return of the Mack". The style is somewhat similar to me and I often feel like listening to the other after listening to one.
Women "approach" but usually in an indirect way (eye contact, random conversation about how slow the elevator is etc). The problem for most men is that these indirect approaches (to the male eye) look just like someone being friendly in a non-platonic way. The female approach is ambiguous and most men don't want to make the mistake of trying to move on a woman only to find out that she's married and was just being polite.
Better looking men tend to get approached in more explicit ways while more average guys get approached but in less obvious ways. That's why lots of average guys will say "I never get approached" while most women say "I've approached lots of average guys."
Women "approach" but usually in an indirect way (eye contact, random conversation about how slow the elevator is etc). The problem for most men is that these indirect approaches (to the male eye) look just like someone being friendly in a non-platonic way. The female approach is ambiguous and most men don't want to make the mistake of trying to move on a woman only to find out that she's married and was just being polite.
Better looking men tend to get approached in more explicit ways while more average guys get approached but in less obvious ways. That's why lots of average guys will say "I never get approached" while most women say "I've approached lots of average guys."
If I was unbiased, I would be on the side of the guys in that scenario. You can't expect a guy to think that you're trying to do more than just friendly talk in that situation.
Although I have said differently in the past, I have a change of heart. I like a woman with backbone, a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it. If a woman shows interest in me first and I find her attractive, I'm immediately interested. People are attracted to people that stand out and aren't all like the others, so if some women just sit and wait for a man to make moves, the woman that stands out to me is the one who will make a move. THAT is sexy to me.
Let's not get it twisted, I am not desperate, I don't need a woman, I am fine and live perfectly happily as a single man, so I don't feel the need or desire to chase a woman. I'm also not afraid of rejection, so it's not that I don't approach often because I'm afraid. I just don't care enough to bother tbh. But if a woman shows me she is interested and I find her attractive? You bet your a** that I'm going to ask her out quick as possible.
Ladies, take a lesson from the song "Call me maybe." That's the kind of woman I find attractive. There is nothing more alluring to me than a woman who shows me she is into me. By waiting for the man to do everything you look exactly the same as the other women out there. What sets you apart from the rest? Approaching. Making a move. That is sexy. That shows me you're a strong woman who don't need no man to make a move
BTW, any man who is afraid of a strong-willed woman is insecure in his masculinity..
I've always thought it makes more sense in practical terms for the woman to initiate conversation. Usually doesn't happen, though a girl did approach me at a bar over the weekend. We talked for about an hour and then left and went to a few other places, didn't head home until closing time. So it does happen occasionally.
Women "approach" but usually in an indirect way (eye contact, random conversation about how slow the elevator is etc). The problem for most men is that these indirect approaches (to the male eye) look just like someone being friendly in a non-platonic way. The female approach is ambiguous and most men don't want to make the mistake of trying to move on a woman only to find out that she's married and was just being polite.
Better looking men tend to get approached in more explicit ways while more average guys get approached but in less obvious ways. That's why lots of average guys will say "I never get approached" while most women say "I've approached lots of average guys."
There is a fine line between a woman making small talk in a business environment and her "approaching" you. I would suggest with coworkers, clients, suppliers one take a very careful tact when approaching another person this way.
Sometimes a conversation about the elevator or the weather is just that...
Women "approach" but usually in an indirect way (eye contact, random conversation about how slow the elevator is etc). The problem for most men is that these indirect approaches (to the male eye) look just like someone being friendly in a non-platonic way. The female approach is ambiguous and most men don't want to make the mistake of trying to move on a woman only to find out that she's married and was just being polite.
Which of course most of the time that's exactly what it is, friendly small talk, or a friendly glance - it's normal politeness. Guys don't know the difference because they aren't mind readers.
Guys can't detect covert subtlety as an indication of interest, or risk making a fool of themselves by guessing that's what it is when a woman is vaguely polite to them.
The problem with the indirect approach is it's done in a subtle enough way for the woman not to risk rejection as that's what they expect the guy to do.
Which of course most of the time that's exactly what it is, friendly small talk, or a friendly glance - it's normal politeness. Guys don't know the difference because they aren't mind readers.
Guys can't detect covert subtlety as an indication of interest, or risk making a fool of themselves by guessing that's what it is when a woman is vaguely polite to them.
The problem with the indirect approach is it's done in a subtle enough way for the woman not to risk rejection as that's what they expect the guy to do.
It's one of the reasons (if not, the main one) why I like OLD so much. It completely removes that uncertainty factor. Even if you both start off making small talk, you know the both of you are interested in each other.
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