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I personally think casual dating is a waste of time and I don't engage in it. If I'm dating, it's because I'm looking for something serious, not new friends.
Also, this man sounds like a gentleman who is honest. I think his response shows that he has character, as opposed to just disappearing. It's unfortunate that this is seen as a bad thing these days.
Did you meet him online? If so, did you specify in your profile that you were seeking out casual dating?
Assuming this is the only occurrence of this that you've experienced, I think you have too small a sample size to draw conclusions on what is the norm in the dating world. Most singles in my age group are very much open to casual dating.
The upside is that the guy communicated his feelings towards you openly, rather than simply disappearing on you as it seems many people in the modern dating community embrace.
My profile makes it clear that I'm open to casual dating or something that leads to a commitment and that I'm easygoing about it.
Why would you assume this is the only occurrence? I've been single for 10 years. Not a small sample size. I've NEVER encountered a man who is interested in what I describe. Don't know what your age group is, but I'm 48.
Yes, that was an upside, and I was not disappointed. However, after only one coffee date and the night at the bar, I wouldn't have been disappointed if I never heard from him again, either. Not even surprised.
This is not about what page I was on. I'm just trying to learn how to interpret what page others are on. Because what I've found is that men frequently make assumptions about me that aren't correct, in spite of my straightforward nature. One of those assumptions is: I only have one page.
I personally think casual dating is a waste of time and I don't engage in it. If I'm dating, it's because I'm looking for something serious, not new friends.
Also, this man sounds like a gentleman who is honest. I think his response shows that he has character, as opposed to just disappearing. It's unfortunate that this is seen as a bad thing these days.
I don't think that OP is saying that how he responded was bad.
The criticism is that they couldn't continue to go about the "relationship" casually without the need to immediately progress into something serious and monogamous. The guy broke things off under the assumption that it was moving into something serious (which he did not want), but per OP, she didn't necessarily want anything serious either. She would have been content with having a casual dating relationship with the guy in the interim.
My profile makes it clear that I'm open to casual dating or something that leads to a commitment and that I'm easygoing about it.
Why would you assume this is the only occurrence? I've been single for 10 years. Not a small sample size. I've NEVER encountered a man who is interested in what I describe. Don't know what your age group is, but I'm 48.
Yes, that was an upside, and I was not disappointed. However, after only one coffee date and the night at the bar, I wouldn't have been disappointed if I never heard from him again, either. Not even surprised.
This is not about what page I was on. I'm just trying to learn how to interpret what page others are on. Because what I've found is that men frequently make assumptions about me that aren't correct, in spite of my straightforward nature. One of those assumptions is: I only have one page.
Pump the brakes. I'm not assuming anything. I'm asking you for more info. Don't get snarky with me. I'm actually standing up for you here. I fully understand your predicament.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma
Who said I was mad?
You were invested enough to make this thread in the first place. I'd wager that you were a little ticked he respectfully rejected you and you didn't get the last word on the matter.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by SQL
I agree. I'm all for the 'once a week, or every couple of weeks if you are busy' scenario. Meeting once a month or less wouldn't work for me personally.
I tried dating a girl a while back who would always cancel because of her work schedule being so sporadic. I told her that I wasn't interested in not seeing each other for weeks in between, particularly during the early stages of getting to know her. I just don't think you can build a relationship that way.
I dealt with that last year as well, a environmental lawyer at a law school, she was always working (a decision comes down and she had to dissect it over the weekend), and she was working with sibling to fix up a deceased relative's house. We saw each other every three weeks, just not enough to figure anything out, or have too much fun, so I had to end it.
You were invested enough to make this thread in the first place. I'd wager that you were a little ticked he respectfully rejected you and you didn't get the last word on the matter.
Pump the brakes. I'm not assuming anything. I'm asking you for more info. Don't get snarky with me. I'm actually standing up for you here. I fully understand your predicament.
omg, no, sorry, that was not at all meant as snarky. It was just straightforward...I had the info you were asking for!
I don't think this is an issue that needs standing up for. I was just curious to hear other perspectives.
Maybe it is an age thing. Younger people tend to want to take their time before committing to serious things so they can gather enough data about whether they want that thing in particular. IME, young people are very, very picky about what they want to invest their time, energy, and life into.
Folks in your age range may be mostly looking for a serious partner to settle in with in the latter years of their life. I really haven't a clue, this is just a wild hypothesis.
There's also the possibility that he wasn't into you all that much and tried to shield you from that with this particular excuse. That sucks, but this seems to be pretty common because people don't want to hurt other people's feelings most of the time.
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