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I recently reconnected with a guy I worked with last year. We both ended up moving abroad and strangely enough, ended up in the same city.
He's three years younger than I am and is in graduate school. We didn't get along when we worked together because I was a bit of a man hater then (post-heartbreak reaction) and he was slightly immature. I wasn't that nice to him and to be quite frank, I really regretted it after we both left the company. It remained on my mind the entire year for some reason. He tried really hard to get me to hang out with him then and talk to me, but I was not having it. I kept rejecting him.
Last Sunday, he randomly messaged me to see if I wanted to grab a bite to eat. We hung out for a few hours and in all honesty, I really didn't think we'd get along! We really had a blast. We talked all night and had quite a bit of fun. At some point, his friend joined us and he couldn't stop saying to his friend 'she's really smart' or 'she's so elegant'. After his friend left, he said I really impressed him despite our bickering last year.
Of course, I took these words with a grain of salt. He opened up a bit about his financial struggles as a student (since he was employed in the past and comes from a wealthy background, this is new to him) and how he doesn't get along with his siblings. I found that interesting that he opened up like this. I mean, it's not something you'd say to just about anybody.
Anyway, he suggested a few activities we should do together and said he'd like to see me again. We ended up messaging each other all day Monday through Wednesday. His last messages was something that did not require a response in my opinion, so I left it at that and have not messaged him since. I didn't want to reply something random, just to keep the conversation going. I'm not that needy.
Now, given our history, I wouldn't want him to think I'm not interested because I actually am (he stayed on my mind even after I left the company and moved cities). However, I don't want to act needy by messaging him when I have nothing to say, so far. How shall I proceed?
The thing is right now, my mindset is at 'if he's interested, it'll progress. If not, there's a million guys out there' and I want it to remain this way.
I am kindly asking for advice because I had not been linked to a man in almost three years, so it's a renewal to me. I have to learn all over again and I want to do things right this time (whether with him or someone else).
If it were me, I would find something to message about or ask him on a date. It's been four days since you last texted and you may lose momentum by not saying anything and waiting around on him. He sent the last message so technically it's your "turn".
Don't play silly games like "if he's interested, he'll text", or "if I text I look needy". If you like him, make it known.
I think far too many people worry about what to do next and how it might appear instead of doing what their heart tells them to do.
You want to see him again? Tell him that. Text him that you had a great time last weekend and hope that you can get together again soon. Then suggest a time/date/activity.
I'm not playing any games. I just don't know how to proceed. I wanted to suggest going out again, but I did this with other guys and it came crashing down.
Besides, since we're not dating and just reconnected, in my opinion, a week without texting each other is no big deal. We're still former coworkers, not friends yet.
I think far too many people worry about what to do next and how it might appear instead of doing what their heart tells them to do.
You want to see him again? Tell him that. Text him that you had a great time last weekend and hope that you can get together again soon. Then suggest a time/date/activity.
It doesn't have to be so hard.
I already did the above the day following our hang out, which led to us texting for three days. I just haven't suggested anything yet. I probably will sometime in the upcoming week.
Bear in mind that we had started texting three weeks prior to that hang out and he also stopped answering mid conversation for some reason, before reigniting three weeks later. I don't think it's a big deal.
Bear in mind that we had started texting three weeks prior to that hang out and he also stopped answering mid conversation for some reason, before reigniting three weeks later. I don't think it's a big deal.
I'm asking about how HE would perceive this silence on my end after we've hung out. The silence on his end happened before we saw each other which wasn't a big deal. To me, my silence is not a big deal because I know how I feel, but to him it may come across as 'she's not interested'.
However, now that we've hung out and he wants to see me again, I wouldn't want this silence on my end to jeopardize the progress.
You can do that and guard your heart at the same time. Just be more straight forward. It's not as hard as you're making it out to be. If it's the same guy that you mentioned before in your previous posts, I'd take the chance while I still had it. Please don't over think this.
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