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thanks all.. i have OCD and obessive thoughts.. i needed outside reassurance. i have gotten good straitfoward advice on there before.. i am trying so hard to over come this
To me it's way different than a name skip.
...
to me " my wife" carries a lot of weight and meaning.. and I can't help but wonder why that type of lifetime commitment wording came out of his mouth
we were together through his divorce (got together After his separation tho) and i had to watch it all and it was intrusive and stressful to me, to watch the fights and the court and all of it.. i have always felt threatened because she was his only girlfriend ever and they were married for So long. it ended very ugly, she left and dragged him through court
Aaaaaaah. Now the crux of this comes out.
You are going nuts over it because you feel guilty and insecure.
You are going nuts over it because you feel guilty and insecure.
i dont feel guilty at all.. they were separated for a year before we got together..the paperwork was already in the court, it just takes a long time to sort it all out.... but i have no guilt at all
I'm not. I love him so much and I'm so hurt by this. I just feel that it's possible that it has some huge meaning that I don't want to ignore.. I have ignored things with other relationships in the past, stupidly
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
You're creating a crisis where none exists.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninabell
its been 2 years. we talk about marriage. i brought her up.. and he got frustrated with me
hes is really honest. but i dont expect anyone, even the most honest man to say im thinking of my ex wife as my wife still, or i sometimes miss her or anything like that to his current girlfriend.. no one would say that!
This guy almost drowned but you are already talking about swimming.
Yeah, he slipped but this is still a very fresh wound.
To me it's way different than a name skip. Once I said my ex's name when calling my son and he called her name when talking about his daughter.. that did Not bother me.. to me " my wife" carries a lot of weight and meaning.. and I can't help but wonder why that type of lifetime commitment wording came out of his mouth
In my experience, if you are referring to something that happened in the past, DURING that relationship, it is easy enough for your brain to pull up the past tense "My Wife" rather than default to the present tense "My ex-wife".
So if he was saying something like "______ used to do the same darn thing" he might say MY WIFE. It does NOT have some deep meaning that you need to deal with.
I think you have a choice. Make a big deal out of this and make your BF feel small and stupid, or forgive him and move on with your life.
YOU brought her up? cheap shot.
If you have insecurities, OCD and obsessive thoughts, get some help and take some meds. That's a poor excuse for being short tempered and demanding of your SO. Your kids deserve better, too.
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