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OP, its all about developing positive coping skills. Finding out what works for you.
Like many have posted, its better to be alone trying to figure out how to do it than being in a relationship you regret.
My advice is stay busy, set goals, find things you like to do and look forward to doing them.
If the right person comes along, great ! If not then be the best you can be.
OP, its all about developing positive coping skills. Finding out what works for you.
Like many have posted, its better to be alone trying to figure out how to do it than being in a relationship you regret.
My advice is stay busy, set goals, find things you like to do and look forward to doing them.
If the right person comes along, great ! If not then be the best you can be.
This is pretty much what I try to do. However, after a certain point (I'm almost 57) it all does seem too late. Shoulda, coulda, woulda—didn't. I just try to put it out of my mind, when I'm faced with the intense longing for a kind whispered word, a warm embrace and a gentle caress from someone who genuinely cares about me. I look at it as 'that's someone else's world, not mine', which I know is not a great attitude, but it's better than the yearning. A FWB would not help me... stupid oxytocin, anyway.
I've been pretty much dateless for over 2 years now. That's not taking into consideration a random date from a dating site to 'keep trying'. I'm assuming there are lots of us on/off dating sites but keep arriving at the same results. I keep busy with work, hobbies, and Meet Ups but find the best therapy for me is hiking in the mountains. Just something about it. At 55 I think constantly about retirement and finances but luckily will be fine which is comforting. That doesn't address the loneliness but like everyone mentions, you have to mentally cope with the positives.
How are you people not able to appreciate and enjoy your freedom?
I find it easier to deal with not having a partner than the idea of having one, because I like having full power over the remote control, the iTunes playlist, what and how often I eat and where and with whom I sleep.
Pets are more fun and less trouble to have around than people and I'd like one, but I wouldn't be able to look after it properly by myself.
The idea of needing medication to be able to handle being on your own is incomprehensible to me. I mean no disrespect or offence, it's just a very different mindset from what I'm used to.
I'm still getting over the mostly natural deaths of my last two dogs... dogs that'd I had for 10 plus years. But, yeah, most definitely... a pet can help. Dogs have taught me more about love than any human ever has. Plus, dogs are always happy to see me... and likewise, I them. Except, *ouch* ...when they go.
I totally appreciate my freedom, that I don't have the day to day annoyances that come with living with another person. I don't relish the idea of figuring out how to communicate successfully with another human being... And, I've often wondered what was worse: Being starved for affection and single or being unhappily married with no intimacy or understanding between each person. I don't know. I think being lonely and married is worse... It was bad enough for me long ago that I chose to leave my marriage. Admittedly, during more than one of my longer rounds of no intimacy, human touch, warmth... I convinced myself that at least the married unhappy folks have a glimmer of hope... in that ... there's a person in the bed next to you that you once cared for... why not give it shot. Now, I dunno.
I am quite content being single; I have no burning desire to marry. In fact, I'll probably be single the remainder of my life. I no longer trust my capacity to judge a person's character... Besides, I love my solitude. I need my solitude... and sometimes people in relationships don't understand that their partner's need for alone time has nothing to do with them at all.
That's not to say I don't miss having someone to hug, cuddle and... you know... all the rest. I admit I long to hear and feel a man breathing in the bed next to me, to feel the warmth of his body next to mind, his arms around me and vice-versa but... you know. one night is just not enough, and every night forever is probably a few nights too many.
Like I said, I dunno. Stay busy, cruise forums...?
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Yeah...
