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A guy is dating a girl for a few weeks and when they finally decide to have sex he said
that he lost all attraction for her after her clothes came off and he saw her fully nude
body. Apparently she was really good at dressing and choosing clothes to down play her
belly fat, stretch marks, cellulite, and sagging breast.
He could not bring himself to have sex with her after seeing her naked. He said that
she did not appear fat when he was dating her, she was just on the slightly chubby
side but her over all body appeared to be of average weight. He felt really bad about
it because he really likes her, but he is just no longer attracted to her after seeing
her body without her clothes on.
Well....the few weeks part is right on the nose....LOST ALL ATTRACTION - so, extreme enough that NONE of the other aspects of her personality or ANY other physical aspects like perhaps that she may have had good legs or a decent a$$ was overridden by the VERY charitable way she is described in terms of belly fat and sagging breasts? Nope, I stand by it....100%.
This is the way it went:
"He felt really bad about it because he really likes her, but he is just no longer attracted to her after seeingher body without her clothes on."
What do you think a guy should do in this instance? Have sex with her, even though he has lost all attraction?
"He felt really bad about it because he really likes her, but he is just no longer attracted to her after seeingher body without her clothes on."
What do you think a guy should do in this instance? Have sex with her, even though he has lost all attraction?
Now I'm mixing threads
But I had to reply to this, I find it interesting that people (especially women) can say that they were attracted to a guy but when he did or said something that she felt morally strong about, she lost attraction instantly; yet if a guy lost instant attraction for a woman because he did not like her body, that is not realistic or possible
Well; I'm one of those posters on the other thread who used both the "Real Man/Woman" terms.
Honestly; the situation proposed just made the man sound kind of juvenile; as in literally just not a grown up.
Boy vs Man.
I don't think I was projecting my own insecurities into everything but hey; I could be wrong. By far; in fact by 100%, I've always been more critical of my own body than any man I've ever been with.
I have never once been rejected due to my nude body so I don't think I'm channelling some past experience.
I've had 11 kids; including 2 sets of twins, BTW. I'm 5'10" with a BMI of 27. Waist/Hip ratio of 0.70. & a 38DD. In clothes I look fine. I don't personally like the way I look without the clothes but I always get positive feedback (& no, I don't mean from just one man like a spouse whos stuck with me, I mean men as in plural).
Well; I'm one of those posters on the other thread who used both the "Real Man/Woman" terms.
Honestly; the situation proposed just made the man sound kind of juvenile; as in literally just not a grown up.
Boy vs Man.
I don't think I was projecting my own insecurities into everything but hey; I could be wrong. By far; in fact by 100%, I've always been more critical of my own body than any man I've ever been with.
I have never once been rejected due to my nude body so I don't think I'm channelling some past experience.
I've had 11 kids; including 2 sets of twins, BTW. I'm 5'10" with a BMI of 27. Waist/Hip ratio of 0.70. & a 38DD. In clothes I look fine. I don't personally like the way I look without the clothes but I always get positive feedback (& no, I don't mean from just one man like a spouse whos stuck with me, I mean men as in plural).
I guess I just don't "get you guys" at all!
great post!!!
I will say again....a real man does not mind some padding....
if you are getting hung up on the real man phrase,,,,as the poster said above a man,,,not a boy...or immature ass.
here is an issue on here...
because one lady said this doesn't mean the whole species gender agrees with it....same as a guy if he says this ,,,,,or acted like an ass.....doesn't mean the rest of us agree with it..
coch.... 11 kids????? wow...you took the fruitful and multiply quite literal
I will say again....a real man does not mind some padding....
if you are getting hung up on the real man phrase,,,,as the poster said above a man,,,not a boy...or immature ass.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
People are attracted to what they're attracted to. That they don't fit into your particular mold in what they are attracted to makes them no less than you, and certainly not a "boy" or an "immature ass".
Maybe the solution is for everyone to have their first sex session in the dark, to avoid the possibility that the other party might run from the room, screaming or barfing? That's pretty much what Ben Franklin, one of our Founding Fathers, and quite a ladies' man, did; he'd turn out the lights if the view wasn't to his liking. "All horses look the same in the dark", he said.
Maybe the dilemma being presented in the other thread was more of a moral or ethical nature; is it better to be honest, and halt the proceedings, so as not to take advantage of the lady knowing the possibility of a relationship has just crashed, even if being honest would hurt her feelings? Is hurting her feelings a lesser offense than using her body and then discarding it, and her? Ben Franklin wasn't concerned with ethics in the intimate arena.
So he should have just sucked it up and had sex with someone simply because she "made herself vulnerable" and took her clothes off?
Yeah, that would lead to an incredibly meaningful relationship.
(And, I stand by what I said about you filling in the blanks on this one. We'll obviously have to agree to disagree on that portion of it.)
You filled in some blanks yourself - I never said he should have sex with her while throwing up in his mouth. I'd never wish that on a man - however they do seem to be rather easily repulsed while women have much greater fortitude in such situations.
I said, several times that he's an a$$ for not realizing how shallow he is and not inquiring a bit more as to her fitness level in that several week period since that seems to have been of such importance to him. He failed in doing his due diligence.
Hi you two, it is great that you feel the way you do, but if possible could you answer the questions from this specific thread?
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi
Well; I'm one of those posters on the other thread who used both the "Real Man/Woman" terms.
Honestly; the situation proposed just made the man sound kind of juvenile; as in literally just not a grown up.
Boy vs Man.
So going back to the question of this thread, does having personal likes or attractions make someone a boy and not a real man?
We don't know how the guy handles the situation nor do we know his age, we just know that he lost attraction when he saw her, I am not saying it is a nice thing, but is he free to be attracted to what he is attracted to?
If yes than why did his unattractive to her body make him a boy and not a real man?
By the way, I am asking out of real curiosity not for contention sake.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman
great post!!!
I will say again....a real man does not mind some padding....
if you are getting hung up on the real man phrase,,,,as the poster said above a man,,,not a boy...or immature ass.
So your personal believe is that if a person does not find someone attractive he is not a real man? My question to you is, where does his freedom of choice come in at?
Or do you believe that a person should NOT have freedom of choice? If they believe different than you do they are a boy and not a real man?
Again I am sincerely asking, I am not trying to be sarcastic
You filled in some blanks yourself - I never said he should have sex with her while throwing up in his mouth. I'd never wish that on a man - however they do seem to be rather easily repulsed while women have much greater fortitude in such situations.
I said, several times that he's an a$$ for not realizing how shallow he is and not inquiring a bit more as to her fitness level in that several week period since that seems to have been of such importance to him. He failed in doing his due diligence.
And no, I don't mind at all disagreeing with you.
Hi Reneeh63,
If I may ask, to you is being shallow evil, bad, selfish, or what? Is shallowness not natural or non-human?
I guess I am trying to determine if you think the guy was wrong or bad just because he had a personal dislike of something.
Because you called him an ass for not being attracted to her, instead of saying that they both were in a unfortunate situation. So since you called him a shallow ass, I am guessing you believe he was wrong for feeling what he felt?
I am curious as to your opinion on something: do you believe that it is possible that he did not foresee that happening? Is it possible that he did not ever consider that he would lose attraction once he saw her without her clothes on?
If even for the "smallest" possibility you say that "maybe" it could be a yes, he didn't know it would happen, then why is he a shallow ass for having no control over how he felt? Or do you believe that men should naturally be able to control how they feel?
Of course if you believe that he should have known from the moment he saw her, then I guess there is no need for you to answer that question
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way she is described in terms of belly fat and sagging breasts? Nope, I stand by it....100%.
