Rough situation here (friends, betrayed, social, responsible)

[artsyguy]

Hi everybody!

I am working with my roommate in an assigned class project. Apparently he was talking trash behind my back, since the entire team decided out of the blue to block me from doing group work. My roommate made up lies and talked trash about me to my professor. I didn't know a lot of the details until today. So I contacted the professor who was too insecure to let me in on the situation. But after much discussion he decided not to penalize my grades at all and figured out a way for me to escape from the "toxic group".

Later that night I went to my bedroom to get my volunteer certificate and reference letters that professionals had written for me, they disappeared!! I had searched high and low and they were gone. I keep them in the same binder and in envelopes in the same location at all times. It is odd that those papers are missing but all the other ones are still there. My bedroom doesn't have a lock, so I am thinking of getting one. But I think it is obvious about what has happened here.

My lease doesn't end for another several months so I am not sure as to what to do besides get a lock. I think the term for this situation is gaslighting.

[carrot juice]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

Hi everybody!
Later that night I went to my bedroom to get my volunteer certificate and reference letters that professionals had written for me, they disappeared!! I had searched high and low and they were gone. I keep them in the same binder and in envelopes in the same location at all times. It is odd that those papers are missing but all the other ones are still there. My bedroom doesn't have a lock, so I am thinking of getting one. But I think it is obvious about what has happened here.

You misplaced them, I'm sure. Try not to be so paranoid. Sounds like you are creating more and more drama for yourself.

Carrot

[pirate girl]

Rip your room and the rest of your apartment apart before you make those accusations- and if you still can't find the paperwork, ask your roommate if he has seen it.

I'm sure his body language and attitude will tell you if your feelings are correct.

A bad roommate situation really stinks. Good luck.

[cremebrulee]

I agree with Pirate Girl...
adding....

from now on, put all your privet paper work in a safe place..including credit card statements, bank statements...cards, birth cirtificates, any legal papers along with pass port...and keep them locked up somewhere, be very consciencious of this place and leave no stone untured. With Identity theft and robberies on the rise, it would be wise to do this, for your own protection.

Sorry to hear this room mate started trouble for you...if it were me, I'd get out as soon as possible, utilize this time to find another place, and don't talk to anyone, further about this...adding kindling to the fire, isn't going to make it any better...I know it hurts, but at least you found out now....do it quietly and on your own...always remember, whenever there is another person involved in your life...there might be controversies. For instance, my son, at one point in time, wanted to purchase a plane with his step brother...I suggested, don't do it...all kinds of problems can arise...so, if you can, do things on your own....don't be parinoid..but, protect your identity with cautious manuvers for your own peace of mind. A lesson, perhaps well learned.

Hugs
Creme

[artsyguy]

I do keep my stuff organized but never locked up. I looked at them the other day. Never lost papers before since I don't own many.

But ya the roommate is creepy. I am through with him.

Originally Posted by cremebrulee

I agree with Pirate Girl...
adding....

from now on, put all your privet paper work in a safe place..including credit card statements, bank statements...cards, birth cirtificates, any legal papers along with pass port...and keep them locked up somewhere, be very consciencious of this place and leave no stone untured. With Identity theft and robberies on the rise, it would be wise to do this, for your own protection.

Sorry to hear this room mate started trouble for you...if it were me, I'd get out as soon as possible, utilize this time to find another place, and don't talk to anyone, further about this...adding kindling to the fire, isn't going to make it any better...I know it hurts, but at least you found out now....do it quietly and on your own...always remember, whenever there is another person involved in your life...there might be controversies. For instance, my son, at one point in time, wanted to purchase a plane with his step brother...I suggested, don't do it...all kinds of problems can arise...so, if you can, do things on your own....don't be parinoid..but, protect your identity with cautious manuvers for your own peace of mind. A lesson, perhaps well learned.

Hugs
Creme

[Twinkle Toes]

Start with the lock. Then look for your stuff. If you don't find it, then you should start asking these people if they've seen your stuff. If they lie about it (and you know they will) you need to get in touch with some gang - say the Hell's Angels or Crips or Bloods and have them open up a can of whupass on your roomies. You'll probably get your stuff back then.

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

I do keep my stuff organized but never locked up. I looked at them the other day. Never lost papers before since I don't own many.

But ya the roommate is creepy. I am through with him.

as I suggested before, in today's world, it is best to keep all peronal information, in a safe place, locked...where no one else would be tempted....especially when living with other people and friends of friends are coming in and out of the house...Identity theft IS alive and well....believe it or not....

[sun]

It really sounds like you've been victimized by a hostile individual, if not the whole group.
If you were living in campus housing, I would advise you to go to the housing authorities. However, by living off-campus that's probably not a real option.
Are those letters and that volunteer certificate items that you need for scholarship application requirements and can they be replaced?
If approaching your roomate about getting the stolen items returned isn't fruitful, then I would consider filing a police complaint. After demanding the return of the items without any questions asked, inform him that you're considering doing it too.
Then take that complaint to the school and see if anyone there has any jurisdiction and can initiate any action over it. Even if the school administration can't, some schools have a student board that's empowered to help resolve student grievances and complaints. There's usually a school moral/ethics code involving all students that may apply.
Maybe some of the students in the work group are aware of what he's done and didn't approve. Talk with them individually and see if they have anything to say about it or where they stand.
By all means, put a lock on your bedroom door and try to advance your complaint, even if it doesn't pan out, because you property rights really do appear to have been violated.
From a legal aspect, one of his guests could have stolen the papers too. But even when living in campus housing, all residents are responsible for the actions of their guests and therefore must accompany them at all times.
It's an unfortunate situation, and I can only hope that next year, you will find a much better roomate and housing situation that will more than make up for this one.

[carrot juice]

Artsy,

I've been reading your posts for a while now, and I spot a trend. It seems like you tend to overreact to situations. Historically, your overreaction creates more drama that gets you into trouble. At one point, you were upset because your roommate was not inviting you along to social activities, and you took it extremely personally. I think that thread eventually got locked because the conversation got so carried away.

In another thread, I know for example, you sent direct messages several people whom you imagined were attacking and maligning you. You saw their responses as personal attacks. They were not so much attacks as differing opinions, which you took deeply personally.

I'm not I'm not trying to attack you here, but it does make one wonder if maybe that same behavior is being duplicated again in this situation with the school project.

If it is, you may want to ask yourself, is your roommate really out to get you? Are people really talking about you in class? And are you doing anything to escalate the situation?

Best,

Carrot

[zonababe]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

Hi everybody!

I am working with my roommate in an assigned class project. Apparently he was talking trash behind my back, since the entire team decided out of the blue to block me from doing group work. My roommate made up lies and talked trash about me to my professor. I didn't know a lot of the details until today. So I contacted the professor who was too insecure to let me in on the situation. But after much discussion he decided not to penalize my grades at all and figured out a way for me to escape from the "toxic group".

Later that night I went to my bedroom to get my volunteer certificate and reference letters that professionals had written for me, they disappeared!! I had searched high and low and they were gone. I keep them in the same binder and in envelopes in the same location at all times. It is odd that those papers are missing but all the other ones are still there. My bedroom doesn't have a lock, so I am thinking of getting one. But I think it is obvious about what has happened here.

My lease doesn't end for another several months so I am not sure as to what to do besides get a lock. I think the term for this situation is gaslighting.

Sometimes things aren't always as they seem. You said, "Apparently he was talking trash behind my back, since the entire team decided out of the blue to block me from doing group work." How do you know it was your roommate who convinced the "entire team" to block you from group work?
Why not speak to your roommate and see what he says?

My home is my sanctuary, I'd be very upset if I was living with someone who I felt betrayed me. Have a tete a tete with your roomie.