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But whether in this regard or any forum topic...
if you're gonna quote someone or refer to what you may have said previously?
include the statement (or a link to it at least) rather than leaving yourself
or anyone else open to assume you've quoted correctly or even in context.
Which I suspect may the root of your disagreement.
(But I'm not gonna go back and try to parse for what you think you may have read)
I'll stick with my own words as stated and in context.
Which I suspect may the root of your disagreement.
(But I'm not gonna go back and try to parse for what you think you may have read)
I'll stick with my own words as stated and in context.
The following are your words, they are the root of my disagreement, and like your statements above, they help you come across as condescending and of a closed mind to others experiences, no parsing necessary:
"That is NOT a long term relationship.
That's dating; serially monogamous or not.
Because even with some structural issue in their lives preventing it... wanting an LTR is one of the core defining characteristics of being "a nice guy" "
Break down the words: Long term relationship.
A relationship of any kind lasting a long term can be correctly defined as a long term relationship.
Friends with benefits.
Doing things with a friend, any friend are the things you do with a friend. A benefit is something in addition.
Arguing these points and insisting these words no longer have the definition they have always have is the point I'm disagreeing with.
A nice guy. A guy whom one considers nice.
You are adding your own definitions that are not universally applicable.
A relationship of any kind lasting a long term can be correctly defined as a long term relationship.
Your definition includes the relationship between Joker and Batman. Okay. But I don't think that's been the concept in mind in this thread or what anyone else means by "long-term relationship."
Long term relationship is a common, contemporary term for intimate interpersonal relationships that may be lifelong and may or may not consist in marriage. Long term relationships are considered the opposite of casual relationships, which tend to be short in duration. The notation "LTR" is used to designate "long term relationship" in "personals" advertisements. Urban Dictionary: long-term relationship
Quote:
Friends with benefits.
Doing things with a friend, any friend are the things you do with a friend. A benefit is something in addition.
That would be the case of any friendship, or it's not anything anyone would call a friendship. That is not what the specific phrase "friends with benefits" was coined to mean and it's not what anyone else means.
1. (used as a euphemism) a friend with whom one has sex without a romantic relationship or commitment. Contemporary definitions for friend with benefits Expand. noun. a friend with whom one has occasional sexual relations, without a commitment or dating arrangement. Dictionary.com | Meanings and Definitions of Words at Dictionary.comfriend-with-benefits
Quote:
Arguing these points and insisting these words no longer have the definition they have always have is the point I'm disagreeing with.
But that's precisely what you're doing.
Quote:
A nice guy. A guy whom one considers nice.
A nice guy is an informal term for an (often young) adult male who portrays himself as gentle, compassionate, sensitive and/or vulnerable. The term is used both positively and negatively. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy
A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=nice%20guy
If a man has suppressed his testosterone and normal human self-interest enough to fit those definitions, it's not because he wants nothing from the relationship. He either wants your money or your long-term exclusiveness to make the relationship worth the effort.
The guys who are happy to "hit it and quit it" are not "nice guys.
Quote:
You are adding your own definitions that are not universally applicable.
No definition is "universally applicable," but the ones under discussion have other generally accepted definitions that you're trying to ignore.
No definition is "universally applicable," but the ones under discussion have other generally accepted definitions that you're trying to ignore.
I'm not trying to ignore anything, I'm explaining what those terms mean to me, no inferences or double entendres, just basic words. We each define our own relationships, luckily.
You guys are funny. Yes, this 68 year old guy was probably just wishful thinking. :-) I took myself off of the dating sites a few days after joining. My family has been on me lately, telling me I'm too young to be alone the rest of my life and I should have just ignored it.
I wouldn't mind meeting a nice guy who isn't looking for a LTR. I would even be open to a FWB as long as he didn't expect the "B" every night. :-)
Someone who just wants a woman for an occasional movie or dinner or whatever. Sometimes he pays, sometimes I pay. But men my age seem to want more than this. I don't want to get married again. The only thing I miss is having a man love me the way my late husband did. Sometimes I miss being a wife but not enough to do it again. I don't miss sex (I have a great vibrator) but I do miss having the weight of a man on top of me sometimes. :-)
Like I said in my first post here, men my own age look soooo old. I am 61 but most people think I am in my late 40's (we have good genes in my family). My late husband was much older and when I see some of these guys I flash back to when DH was sick and dying and I had to be his caretaker for the last year of his life. I just can't do that again. But realistically is a 48-52 year old guy going to be happy with a 61 year old no matter how young she may look?
I'm 47 and no way would I be with a woman that is 61, no offense and I don't mean this to be mean at all, but you probably don't look as young as you think you do. I really don't mean that to be snarky. I've just heard people my whole life say that they look ten plus years younger and in reality most people look about near their age. You can be a youthful 61 and be spirited but when one gets into their 60's that's the point when you truly start showing your age. Heck that can start to happen in your 50's as well.
I have no frame of reference here but I've read on this forum for years now about how women your age crab about how men always want so much more than just the casual thing you talk about. It seems to contradict what I see around me in terms of how older men view things. Most older guys I know or have known have been through the divorce ringer a couple of times and are VERY skittish about getting married and going through all that. You start getting into kids inheritance issues and things like that, it get much more complicated when you have the legalities of marriage.
I'm not a woman so I can't say from that angle, but from my experience I just don't see hordes of older men clamoring to get married again. I could be wrong though, I don't have a dog in the fight either way.
I'm not being conceited by saying I am never, ever taken for 61. My granddaughter is mistaken for my granddaughter many times. When people hear I have a 31 year son they are surprised. Nobody, has ever taken me for 61. On my 22nd birthday, the people I work with had given me balloons and a customer came in thinking it was my sweet 16. I've always looked much younger than I am. I couldn't wait to start looking "older". I was carded till I was almost 40.
Part of it is because I'm petite and I don't dress or wear my hair and make-up like a lot of older women. I also have few wrinkles which runs in the family and I was never much of a sun worshipper. I go to the gym and lift weights so I don't have the body that many post menopausal women get. The biggest part though is genetics. My grandfather didn't look his age at 97 and my mother is 81 and only looking her age recently due to illness. My aunt's 2nd husband was 16 years younger. All the women in our family age well.
Now my step-mother, who was 17 years younger than my mother looked like her older sister and all the women in her family aged horribly.
So yes, I do look younger than 61, however men my age on dating sites look every bit their age or older. There's not many men on dating sites between 58-70 who look to be in good shape. Despite looking younger I don't know if I would feel comfortable dating someone younger than 55. There's a weird double standard in this country. Nobody would think twice about a 47 year old woman dating a 61 year old guy but do it the other way around and it's "weird".
I'm not being conceited by saying I am never, ever taken for 61. My granddaughter is mistaken for my granddaughter many times. When people hear I have a 31 year son they are surprised. Nobody, has ever taken me for 61. On my 22nd birthday, the people I work with had given me balloons and a customer came in thinking it was my sweet 16. I've always looked much younger than I am. I couldn't wait to start looking "older". I was carded till I was almost 40.
Part of it is because I'm petite and I don't dress or wear my hair and make-up like a lot of older women. I also have few wrinkles which runs in the family and I was never much of a sun worshipper. I go to the gym and lift weights so I don't have the body that many post menopausal women get. The biggest part though is genetics. My grandfather didn't look his age at 97 and my mother is 81 and only looking her age recently due to illness. My aunt's 2nd husband was 16 years younger. All the women in our family age well.
Now my step-mother, who was 17 years younger than my mother looked like her older sister and all the women in her family aged horribly.
So yes, I do look younger than 61, however men my age on dating sites look every bit their age or older. There's not many men on dating sites between 58-70 who look to be in good shape. Despite looking younger I don't know if I would feel comfortable dating someone younger than 55. There's a weird double standard in this country. Nobody would think twice about a 47 year old woman dating a 61 year old guy but do it the other way around and it's "weird".
Are you a woman of color?? I'm a white person so I can say this many white people don't age as well as other ethnicities do. In this day an age of political correctness I could get my head handed to me for simply thinking this let alone post it on a public forum. LOL
I'm not being conceited by saying I am never, ever taken for 61. My granddaughter is mistaken for my granddaughter many times. When people hear I have a 31 year son they are surprised. Nobody, has ever taken me for 61. On my 22nd birthday, the people I work with had given me balloons and a customer came in thinking it was my sweet 16. I've always looked much younger than I am. I couldn't wait to start looking "older". I was carded till I was almost 40.
So yes, I do look younger than 61, however men my age on dating sites look every bit their age or older. There's not many men on dating sites between 58-70 who look to be in good shape. Despite looking younger I don't know if I would feel comfortable dating someone younger than 55. There's a weird double standard in this country. Nobody would think twice about a 47 year old woman dating a 61 year old guy but do it the other way around and it's "weird".
Of course there are double standards, I still have to take out the trash, if a bump goes in the night, I have to check it out. If there is a military draft young men are going first.
There are lots of double standards out there. The older woman/young man thing is easing up a lot these days, but yeah, it's still considered a bit odd. If you indeed do look younger you being with a man in his low 50's probably wouldn't raise an eyebrow as you'd probably look low fifties yourself, taking you on face value.
Go for it, date a much younger man, the problem is is that the much younger guy can probably actually have and want sex a lot, unlike your 68 yr old buddy who's living in fantasy land. LoL
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many white people don't age as well as other ethnicities do. In this day an age of political correctness I could get my head handed to me for simply thinking this let alone post it on a public forum. LOL
