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Old 11-23-2016, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,704 posts, read 1,825,685 times
Reputation: 4826

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister68 View Post
I've been in a bad marriage, I've been in a good marriage. I think that word that nobody likes to hear comes into play, and that word is compromising. When you are with that person you truly love unconditionally, it's not so hard. My wife does ALL the things I love, now that's important to me, so I try to give back as much as I can to keep her happy! Without having kids in the equation, it does make it simpler. You just try to give back as much of yourself to that person you truly cherish. To those bitching and whining, you just haven't experienced it yet. Maybe you are with the wrong person, and not your true soul mate. I've experienced it, but last year my wife was diagnosed with cancer, I was thrust into a role of being a caregiver. It hasn't been an easy road, I got her back to where she is right now, she has personally thanked me for getting her to this point. I told her this, this is my thank you back to YOU, for all the kindness, and caring you've given to me the past 15 years. I don't know what the future holds, I may never find this again! I'm not going to quote Alfred Lord Tennyson here, you get the picture...
Yes, I agree. The type of love that you share with your wife is rare and so beautiful. You are both so lucky to have each other. Thank you for sharing your story.
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Old 11-23-2016, 03:39 PM
 
734 posts, read 449,841 times
Reputation: 1424
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister68 View Post
I've been in a bad marriage, I've been in a good marriage. I think that word that nobody likes to hear comes into play, and that word is compromising. When you are with that person you truly love unconditionally, it's not so hard. My wife does ALL the things I love, now that's important to me, so I try to give back as much as I can to keep her happy! Without having kids in the equation, it does make it simpler. You just try to give back as much of yourself to that person you truly cherish. To those bitching and whining, you just haven't experienced it yet. Maybe you are with the wrong person, and not your true soul mate. I've experienced it, but last year my wife was diagnosed with cancer, I was thrust into a role of being a caregiver. It hasn't been an easy road, I got her back to where she is right now, she has personally thanked me for getting her to this point. I told her this, this is my thank you back to YOU, for all the kindness, and caring you've given to me the past 15 years. I don't know what the future holds, I may never find this again! I'm not going to quote Alfred Lord Tennyson here, you get the picture...

Congrats to you and your Missy. Marriage is wonderful when you're with the right one!
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Old 11-23-2016, 03:42 PM
 
734 posts, read 449,841 times
Reputation: 1424
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Not difficult. I looked up your posting history (I do that often before responding to people) and there were two posts in that forum in which you clearly had personal knowledge of that venue which could only come from being there, or having been.

I, too, always found older couples holding hands sweet and endearing and now my wife and I are one.

I hope you get your wish!

Good point! I think I found him. It's still very early to tell, but I have very good feeling about him :-)
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Old 11-23-2016, 05:08 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,394,969 times
Reputation: 29336
Quote:
Originally Posted by Simonna View Post
Why do most of men (not all of course) change after marriage? I mean stop taking their wives on date, being lazy to help her, usually being selfish, not appreciating her, being unsatisfied,stop trying to be nice and make her happy...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Simonna View Post
I think women put a lot of effort to make men happy, like making a food that man likes, cleaning house and doing other housework, even beside that woman is working too and is tired after job like man too, but men rarely want to help women on doing housework, he rather watches tv or sitting on pc.And still being unhappy..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Simonna View Post
In my opinion women put much more effort in relationship than men, mostly women do all housework, even beside that they're working too, spend more time with their kids because some men don't bother to spend their time with kids and don't want to help his wife to take care of kid. Men don't feel obligated to relationship that much as women because it's mostly women business to take care of kids, men just feel obligated to earn enough of money.And that's why women don't have enough of energy to help with their men priorities
Quote:
Originally Posted by Simonna View Post
Not everybody has yard, some live in flats...house repairs aren't needed to be made everyday, like food for example. Women still have more work to do around the house, cleaning dust, washing clothes, making food, going to buy food and etc...
Do you *hear* yourself?
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Old 11-23-2016, 06:04 PM
 
Location: Type 0.73 Kardashev
11,110 posts, read 9,770,079 times
Reputation: 40161
People change.

Relationships change.

It's normal.
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Old 11-23-2016, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Toronto
6,750 posts, read 5,698,052 times
Reputation: 4619
Default ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Simonna View Post
Why do most of men (not all of course) change after marriage? I mean stop taking their wives on date, being lazy to help her, usually being selfish, not appreciating her, being unsatisfied,stop trying to be nice and make her happy...
I wonder if it is because they got what they wanted ( a free live in maid ). I don't know either ... but I think most change over the course of time.
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Old 11-23-2016, 08:30 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,394,969 times
Reputation: 29336
Wow! There seem to be a lot of generalities about men, none of them particularly complimentary, made by a number of women in this thread. I can only surmise that your man-pickers are flawed. Now how is that for a generality?

Now that that's out of the way, the reality is that not all men, or even most of them, become lazy bums once they're married anymore than all women become shrews as soon as they put on their wedding band. We're all individuals and we're all very different.

Carefully stepping down from my soapbox now. At my age I have to do so gingerly.
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Old 11-23-2016, 08:39 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,622,012 times
Reputation: 24104
Because kids come along and as we all know, that changes alot of things.
Or perhaps the hoe- hum drum sets in. Routine. Nothing new. Exciting. Begins to get boring or stale.
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Old 11-23-2016, 10:40 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,412,743 times
Reputation: 53067
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
People become comfortable and make less effort. That's both men and women.
I haven't read all the responses, but this is basically the key.

Familiarity can breed laziness. People get comfortable, people get lazy. Time passes, people take one another for granted. It can happen with anybody. Male, female, doesn't matter.
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