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In the past, I had tried to phrase my words very carefully, to implicitly communicate verbally that I have an interest in them, talking about typical pleasantries and small-talk and such, but also trying to add a hint of interest in getting to know them more. Kind of like preparing a verbal lead-in, into asking them out. But a lot of times I also couldn't get over the shyness, so there were also many times where I really, really wanted to ask a woman out, but simply couldn't get enough courage to go through with it. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, it's been a while since I asked a woman out IRL ever since I have stopped all OLD attempts, so now I am trying to resume the IRL method, but am still trying to find the right and proper/effective technique to do so.
OP, since you are shy and have a fear of rejection, I would strongly suggest that you not put your energies into the cold approach when you're out and about. I don't know for sure, but I'd definitely guess that most people, when they are out doing errands, are not going to be interested in, or receptive to, someone trying to pick them up. At best, it's an extreme long shot that this will work, and unless you are able to pick yourself up and dust yourself off rather quickly, it's probably not going to be the most positive approach for you.
You need to make yourself more attractive. Learn how to be assertive, how to communicate better, hit the gym, dress better etc.
If women reject you everytime you aren't simply putting out there your full potential as a man. Not even the most popular, funny, rich and handsome guy is going to be liked by every woman. But if you aren't perceived as a potential mate by anyone it means you need to get better.
Of course you might be failing at approaching them, but to be honest that's probably the least of your concerns. In fact what you say has generally very little importance if a woman decides you are not attractive enough for her.
You need to make yourself more attractive. Learn how to be assertive, how to communicate better, hit the gym, dress better etc.
If women reject you everytime you aren't simply putting out there your full potential as a man. Not even the most popular, funny, rich and handsome guy is going to be liked by every woman. But if you aren't perceived as a potential mate by anyone it means you need to get better.
Of course you might be failing at approaching them, but to be honest that's probably the least of your concerns. In fact what you say has generally very little importance if a woman decides you are not attractive enough for her.
I sense desperation in the OP, and I'm not even a woman. Women can actually smell desperation, and if you approach with the intention of wanting to date a woman, chances are she's gonna tell you to get lost.
Be friendly in your approach. Relax, your body language also needs to be more open. As others have said, find a common ground and go from there.
If you've been rejected close to 1000 times, something is definitely wrong with you. You either are not nearly as good-looking as you think you are or something about your personality is very of obnoxious.
I very respectfully and politely disagree. It's not that I would ever place people on a looks scale, but I have been told objectively multiple times before by more than one person that they would rate me between 7-8 on a scale of 10, if a hypothetical number itself is required (again, I am not supporting or endorsing rating a person on a purely numeric scale, just stating what I have been told by others).
As far as being obnoxious, I can assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. Tbh, if you remember what Clark Kent was like from the classic Superman movies, that's pretty much my basic personality, i.e., very mild-mannered. Becoming angry is an extremely rare occurrence, for me. When a person is mean or harsh to me, I almost always get "sad", not "mad".
I very respectfully and politely disagree. It's not that I would ever place people on a looks scale, but I have been told objectively multiple times before by more than one person that they would rate me between 7-8 on a scale of 10, if a hypothetical number itself is required (again, I am not supporting or endorsing rating a person on a purely numeric scale, just stating what I have been told by others).
As far as being obnoxious, I can assure you that nothing could be further from the truth.
If you are trying to acquire dates with women you know nothing about, having "interest" in them despite not having any reason to be interested other than that they are female, then you are being obnoxious.
I very respectfully and politely disagree. It's not that I would ever place people on a looks scale, but I have been told objectively multiple times before by more than one person that they would rate me between 7-8 on a scale of 10, if a hypothetical number itself is required (again, I am not supporting or endorsing rating a person on a purely numeric scale, just stating what I have been told by others).
As far as being obnoxious, I can assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. Tbh, if you remember what Clark Kent was like from the classic Superman movies, that's pretty much my basic personality, i.e., very mild-mannered. Becoming angry is an extremely rare occurrence, for me. When a person is mean or harsh to me, I almost always get "sad", not "mad".
Well, most ladies want a guy that can stand up for himself and her.
You are lacking the confidence vibe that attracts most women.
I sense desperation in the OP, and I'm not even a woman. Women can actually smell desperation, and if you approach with the intention of wanting to date a woman, chances are she's gonna tell you to get lost.
Be friendly in your approach. Relax, your body language also needs to be more open. As others have said, find a common ground and go from there.
What I would really like more than anything else is for a woman to reciprocate being nice or kind back, when I am also genuinely and sincerely kind to them, sort of or kind of like observing the Golden Rule (it doesn't usually happen though). To have a woman show some sort of kindness, even if she is not romantically interested in me, if that makes sense? Is that considered to be the same as desperation, from a woman's perspective?
OP...let's flip the equation on its end, shall we?
What excites you? (Not sexually...) What things are you passionate about and find great pleasure in talking about? How does talking about your passions make you feel? Do you get animated and excited? Do you find yourself sitting up straighter and basically showing your feelings through body language?
That's the type of "persona" that captures and keeps the attention of someone you just met or don't know all that well. Imagine if you were the person being approached. What sort of things would garner your interest? How would you want the other person to talk to you? Would you prefer a calm, formal discussion or something more casual?
I have read this and other threads by you, and the common theme appears to be that you have a very intense desire to be in a relationship. As a guy, I can appreciate that desire. But, you're putting way too much emphasis on the end result and therefore missing out on the experience of the journey itself.
Imagine if your goal is to climb a tall mountain. Setting your sights on the peak is a good thing (some would say it's absolutely imperative) but simply saying "I wanna climb the mountain" and trying to do so without practice/training is foolish (at best). Similarly, you're saying "I wanna be in a romantic relationship with you" without going through the effort of getting to know someone and letting them get to know you. Like others have said, it's a turn-off for most and downright disturbing for others.
First of all, do you live in America or abroad? Because foreigners approach women totally different, IMO. Like, Europeans will just aggressively hit on women and think it's no big deal. When you say you've approached thousands of women, that confused me when you said you were shy.
Second of all, how are you approaching them? (You may have already said, but I didn't read the whole thread.)
Third of all, ignore all of the women's responses. The ones I've read so far are all offended that guys are hitting on women and want them to respond. Most women will be like "why don't you just become friends with us?" It's like "yeah, none of us guys are looking for women to be friends with." They don't get that, which is why you ignore their advice on relationships.
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