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Old 11-23-2016, 02:38 PM
 
578 posts, read 456,496 times
Reputation: 504

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Quote:
Originally Posted by usamathman View Post
He isn't going anywhere. Just another guy that is happy to get some regular asse from time to time.
He could have gotten asse from a single woman with NO kids, i dont know what he was thinking moving in with a single mom and not expecting to take care of the kid.
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Old 11-23-2016, 05:56 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in Europe
192 posts, read 109,558 times
Reputation: 143
Who took care of the kid and did all the cleaning before you move in with her? Don't lose yourself for a irresponsible 26 single mom. She's 26 with a little girl and not 16 with only small clothes. Why she likes clubbing so much? I wouldn't be able to do that if I knew my kid was waiting for me, cryin on her bed and my poor bf is cleaning the fur balls and hair of my pets at home.
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Old 11-23-2016, 11:04 PM
 
Location: West Coast - Best Coast!
1,979 posts, read 3,517,780 times
Reputation: 2343
You were unwise to move in with this woman. And didn't you at least go over to her apartment often enough to see how she lived?

Aside from the babysitter/housekeeping comments others have made, I think you have put yourself at enormous risk by spending so much 1:1 time with your girlfriend's daughter. Way too many possibilities for things to be said/seen/interpreted in the wrong way. This is a little girl you are helping bathe, potty train, putting to bed, etc? It is inappropriate. You should remove yourself from this situation immediately. I'm a woman and I say that.
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Old 11-24-2016, 01:24 AM
 
469 posts, read 397,369 times
Reputation: 1810
You knew what her house was like before you moved in. You knew she liked to go out dancing before you moved in. You must have liked the way she dressed since you were attracted to her before you moved in. You must have stayed the night before you moved in and knew her daughter liked her mom to sleep with her sometimes (perfectly normal behavior, BTW).


Why are you expecting her to change everything about herself, and are suddenly judgmental about pretty much everything she is and does, just because you moved in with her? You think you get to dictate to her now because SHE let YOU move into her place?


You need to check yourself. I think you'd be doing her a favor if you moved out since you seem intent on making her life miserable because you woke up one day and decided how she "should" be conducting every aspect of her life, have decided what constitutes respectable behavior, and are upset because she and her daughter are not towing your line.


Are you working? Or is she supporting you, too?
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Old 11-24-2016, 01:31 AM
 
469 posts, read 397,369 times
Reputation: 1810
Never mind, I see that you said you worked days.


"Im.starting to feel like I'm an ass for trying to break habits and customs they have had before I came into the picture. "


Yes, this would make you an ass if this is what you are doing. What gives you the right to thing you should do this? How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot, someone moved into your house and started to try and make you change everything to their way?


And...you take her out 1-2 times a month and think that's too much? She's 26. Not 86.
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Old 11-24-2016, 06:36 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
15,207 posts, read 10,238,419 times
Reputation: 32166
To the OP: We are only hearing your side of this but she sounds very immature and irresponsible. If you actually return here take some of these suggestions to heart. I don't see anything but grief coming from this situation.


What if the GF gets pissed at you and tries to get her daughter to say you touched her inappropriately? It will be your word against the child's. I don't know if this GF is the type to do that but people can be vindictive. You are putting yourself in a very bad situation. Tell her to get a day job and if she doesn't move out.
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Old 11-24-2016, 11:14 AM
 
9,511 posts, read 5,392,058 times
Reputation: 9092
I was almost in a situation like yours just recently. A 45 year old single mom with a 10 year old son. I only tried to help her out a little and next thing I know this lady was pulling out all the stops trying to get me into the kids life and hers.

No freaking way.

There's way too many questions to be asked I already know the answer s to.

You have to run. Fast and far. Her situation is her doing and hers alone. There are many other single females your age available, what in the hell are you thinking? Are youthinking with the wrong head here?
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Old 11-24-2016, 11:29 AM
 
2,144 posts, read 1,872,068 times
Reputation: 10604
I'm kinda amazed at the people who are calling the mom an irresponsible, immature, loose woman, etc.

She has multiple jobs apparently at night until the new year when she's switched to days for a job aligned with her degree.

She goes out to clubs 1 or 2 times per month. Are moms supposed to stay home every minute and switch to a housedress and slippers or something?

After a year of dating, this poster moves in and has to watch the daughter after his work day and while mom is at work or... 1-2 times a month, out with her friends.

People blend families all the time. Is it really too much to ask a partner who lives with you to watch the kid in the evenings?

IF you date a custodial parent, you have to expect to become included in the child's life in some way. Yes, you are taking on some responsibility. If you want none of it, don't get involved with a custodial parent.

IF you do, talk to the mom about what you're expected to do exactly and how to handle discipline issues etc. It seems obvious to me that people committed enough to live together should be able to have a simple chat.
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Old 11-25-2016, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,412,743 times
Reputation: 53067
Parenting a five year old and getting a lot of "me" time don't typically go hand in hand. It sounds like you stepped willingly into a situation without a firm grasp of what it would entail.
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Old 11-25-2016, 04:22 PM
 
230 posts, read 314,843 times
Reputation: 314
Understand that when you date a single parent, you are getting a package deal. Your gf is part of a package. I think you jumped the gun by moving in. You chose to live as husband/wife/child,so you can't move in with her and think you're there just to be her romantic partner - you're also taking on the step-daddy role. From what you've written, I can't determine that she's using you. It sounds like you guys really connected and wanted to be together, which is cool, but again - it sounds like you moved in without truly realizing what you were getting into as far as playing stepdad. It's okay to change your mind.
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