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Old 12-14-2016, 09:09 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SkylarkPhotoBooth View Post
I actually think it's GREAT for us halfway decent guys that some of our competition is so weak. It just makes us look better by comparison.
Seriously. When I look at the messages my female friends get I drop my jaw and understand why so many dudes have so many problems with it. It's easy to look good compared to those bozos.

 
Old 12-14-2016, 11:18 AM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,842,316 times
Reputation: 17884
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
And some other desperate loser that they know in real life might see them on the site and find out that they're a desperate loser too and that would be SUPER embarrassing since they're both in the same boat.
And how akward to not be able to look at someone in the same boat because of the embarrassment over being a loser, they probably have a lot in common since they recognized each other...
 
Old 12-14-2016, 11:30 AM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,271,640 times
Reputation: 4766
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Seriously. When I look at the messages my female friends get I drop my jaw and understand why so many dudes have so many problems with it. It's easy to look good compared to those bozos.
As we get older, we've narrowed down more of what we like. Whether that person is good for us or bad for us.
 
Old 12-14-2016, 11:45 AM
 
5,722 posts, read 5,786,399 times
Reputation: 4381
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkylarkPhotoBooth View Post
I actually think it's GREAT for us halfway decent guys that some of our competition is so weak. It just makes us look better by comparison.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Seriously. When I look at the messages my female friends get I drop my jaw and understand why so many dudes have so many problems with it. It's easy to look good compared to those bozos.
You would think it works like that, but it really doesn't. I honestly never get responded to on any of the sites. EHarmony once in a while and it's usually from someone in a far away state, that's it. On the more standard sites I get no responses at all and I never perv out and take the time to read profiles and find people I would be a match with.
 
Old 12-14-2016, 11:48 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76 View Post
You would think it works like that, but it really doesn't. I honestly never get responded to on any of the sites. EHarmony once in a while, that's it. None of the other ones.
Works like it for me. OKCupid is a gold mine.

It's not common I don't get any response when I write someone, but I prefer to respond to those that write me.
 
Old 12-14-2016, 11:53 AM
 
5,722 posts, read 5,786,399 times
Reputation: 4381
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Works like it for me. OKCupid is a gold mine.

It's not common I don't get any response when I write someone.
Yeah ok you're one of the 5 percent of men that actually do good on it. Great for you. You're one of the only guys on this entire board that claims to do really well on the sites...if I did as well as you always claim to do I would be married by now and kissed OLD goodbye a long time ago. You're probably rich and in a big city that's the guys that do the best and can work the system.

OLD really turned me off of trying to date since I became single a couple of years ago. So I've had to turn to Meetup groups and other things in RL because I know I can do way better in RL if I try.
 
Old 12-14-2016, 11:55 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76 View Post
Yeah ok you're one of the 5 percent of men that actually do good on it. Great for you. You're one of the only guys on this entire board that claims to do really well on the sites...if I did as well as you always claim to do I would be married by now and kissed OLD goodbye along time ago. You're probably rich and in a big city that's the guys that do the best and can work the system.
Not rich, far from it. Most people I date earn more than I do. And most guys I know do well on it. Vocal minorities flock to places like this, reddit, etc.

And I never claimed to do "well" on it, I do average. My experience is typical, that is why it is popular.

I'm in a moderate sized city, Boston.
 
Old 12-14-2016, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Queens, NY
4,525 posts, read 3,395,097 times
Reputation: 6030
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikelee81 View Post
I think deep down a lot of women don't really have that much respect for men also that use that as a way to meet women. In my experience, I'm already guilty before proclaimed innocence. I think women subtlety are attracted to the real life approach method.
That makes no sense. If that was the case, why would women be using OLD? Guys might subconsciously think those women are desperate for using it. See how that works?

OLD is pretty mainstream nowadays, and plenty use it. While it has never resulted in a relationship for me, I've had plenty of dates from it with high quality women. OLD has honestly worked out better for me than IRL.
 
Old 12-14-2016, 05:25 PM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,616,799 times
Reputation: 3769
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356 View Post
That makes no sense. If that was the case, why would women be using OLD? Guys might subconsciously think those women are desperate for using it. See how that works?

OLD is pretty mainstream nowadays, and plenty use it. While it has never resulted in a relationship for me, I've had plenty of dates from it with high quality women. OLD has honestly worked out better for me than IRL.
In my experience of 3 or 4 years living in both urban and rural areas, the majority of the women using online dating fall into about three categories for those in the mid 20-40 age bracket.

1) The physically attractive and successful career women. She makes it clear that she's very busy with work which is why she is trying OLD. She may or may not have children, but makes it clear in her profile that her children "are her world". She may blatantly have a list of "do not message if" followed by a list that describes possibly 5% of the male population.

So here is your pretentious variety. They get possibly hundreds of e-mails a day from would be suitors. The vast majority of them will not be responded to.

2) The physically unattractive ex wife with multiple children. Again she makes it clear that her "children are her world". She goes on to say do not message "if you're only interested in sex" yada yada. I could write these profiles now.

Here is the undesirable variety. They could be an option, but they tend to project an attitude and defensive posture in their profile heading.

3) The mentally unstable. I've met two like this actually. I felt real bad for both. One had an official diagnosis of schizophrenia basically, and the symptoms were very bad. The other I met for dinner at an Italian restaurant. She cried the entire time as she was upset about her ex police officer bf breaking up with her.

Both of these girls were very pretty, but obviously they have some serious issues they both have to deal with before getting into a serious relationship.


I've only seen an improvement since I've stopped using OLD. I think actually with one girl I dated, we would have had more dates if we met in real life situations. I could tell she was very defensive and distrusting referencing specifically her past experiences with some of the guys she met with OLD. I bet if I met her in real life, she wouldn't have had those presuppositions.

I've dated over 50 different women with OLD btw. No relationship came of any of them. The longest duration of dating was about 6 months.

Time to look forward and don't look back. I currently have two prospects of dates turning into relationships, but the online dating format had nothing to do with that.
 
Old 12-14-2016, 08:15 PM
 
3,424 posts, read 3,328,706 times
Reputation: 6171
Like others here, I'm very, very jaded about OLD...
I've met many women off the sites. Only 1 turned into an actual relationship (bf/gf), but unfortunately, we both came from different worlds.
The others became, at best, short-term hookups. Although claiming to want an actual relationship, I'd say the longest lasted maybe a month. We're all familiar with the "It's not you, it's me" bull****. Been there, got the T-shirt, yada yada...
I'm actually speaking with a couple of different women at this time, but again, I'm not holding my breath. One of whom lives near me (like 5 minutes away); we see each other every week, have a drink, b**** about our jobs, etc. I'm not generally accepting of the "friend zone", but in her case, I bend the rule as we have mutual friends. I have noticed though that she's subtly displaying sexual vibes. But I'm in no hurry.
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