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Old 12-14-2016, 08:19 PM
 
3,137 posts, read 2,696,411 times
Reputation: 6097

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If someone feels embarrassed to do online dating, then don't do it.

 
Old 12-14-2016, 10:33 PM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,842,316 times
Reputation: 17884
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikelee81 View Post
3) The mentally unstable. I've met two like this actually. I felt real bad for both. One had an official diagnosis of schizophrenia basically, and the symptoms were very bad.
If you actually were surprised to be on dates with mentally ill women, one with 'very bad' symptoms of schizophrenia (are there any good symptoms?) then you are strongly lacking in your vetting process...
 
Old 12-14-2016, 10:56 PM
 
31 posts, read 17,217 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by geminigirl7 View Post
For the last few weeks I've been looking at profiles of men on POF and I've seen a few men that look interesting so this evening I worked up the nerve to create my own profile but for some reason I can't seem to bring myself to complete it. I'm especially nervous about putting a picture of myself out there for the world to see. I keep thinking that someone I know is going to come across it and think I'm desperate and pathetic for looking for dates on the internet. I feel embarrassed by the whole thing really.

I know logically a lot of people date this way now and it's pretty normal but part of me feels like a loser for not being able to meet someone the old-fashioned way. It's hard though, I'm a busy single mom and I don't have a lot of time to go out.

I'm also worried that I'm not going to get very many replies or that once they see me in person they will be disappointed. If you meet someone at a bar or a grocery store you know up front what the other person really looks like. I'm not bad looking but we all look different in person.

Anyone else feel this way about online dating and did you go through with it anyway? Did anyone you know ever see your profile somewhere and call you out on it? Did you care? Did most dates go pleasantly enough? Help I'm new to dating!!
I used to think this, but then I realized something. Have you ever heard of someone that browses through online dating profiles in their spare time for purposes that do NOT involve dating? Me neither. The only reason someone would stumble upon your profile is if they also are trying online dating. I couldn't imagine anyone ever giving you **** about it because you can easily say "if it's so lame (or whatever say) then why were you on it?"

If you're still a little nervous about being so public, then don't try a free site. Use a paid one instead where you need an account to browse.
 
Old 12-15-2016, 03:11 AM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,567,314 times
Reputation: 17654
Quote:
Originally Posted by gododgers View Post
I used to think this, but then I realized something. Have you ever heard of someone that browses through online dating profiles in their spare time for purposes that do NOT involve dating? Me neither. The only reason someone would stumble upon your profile is if they also are trying online dating. I couldn't imagine anyone ever giving you **** about it because you can easily say "if it's so lame (or whatever say) then why were you on it?"

If you're still a little nervous about being so public, then don't try a free site. Use a paid one instead where you need an account to browse.
Even with a free site like OkCupid, you can make your profile only visible to logged in members.
 
Old 12-15-2016, 06:24 AM
 
1,080 posts, read 832,184 times
Reputation: 1401
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Even with a free site like OkCupid, you can make your profile only visible to logged in members.
Yes, but because it's free, anyone can quickly and easily create a ghost account to become a "logged in member," and can look up your profile from anywhere on the globe in a few keystrokes.
 
Old 12-15-2016, 06:25 AM
 
1,080 posts, read 832,184 times
Reputation: 1401
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76 View Post
You would think it works like that, but it really doesn't.
Yes, it really does, at least in my experience. If it didn't, I wouldn't have posted that. When the other men on a dating site are interpersonally clueless, crude, and unintelligent, all you really have to do to look outstanding by comparison is communicate in complete sentences and not send unsolicited pics of your junk. It isn't that hard.

Also, if you're only matching with people from another state on eHarmony, you need to move. In a major metro you should be getting 8-10 matches per day just in your area.
 
Old 12-15-2016, 06:43 AM
 
1,080 posts, read 832,184 times
Reputation: 1401
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_Goldenfold View Post
I'm with Wanderlust... utter BS here. Being articulate, respectful, and topical gets you NOWHERE on online dating. I've lived in two major metros and gotten jack by being above this so called "low bar" forever now. Nonsense, I say.
You're doing something wrong, then. Difficult to say what exactly it is you are doing wrong without seeing your profile and exchanges, but something needs tweaking.
 
Old 12-15-2016, 06:50 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkylarkPhotoBooth View Post
You're doing something wrong, then. Difficult to say what exactly it is you are doing wrong without seeing your profile and exchanges, but something needs tweaking.
Yup.

Personally, even when I'm most active, I maybe write one to two people a week. I think its best if you write a good profile where women write you. I've had far more luck that way. But of course, a decent number are like 30-60 minutes away, so that's the downside.
 
Old 12-15-2016, 06:51 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_Goldenfold View Post
Nah. Tried a million angles here. Even the passive ones, or the tried-and-true syntax of others. The only ones that tout it are shills, IMO. Personally, I'm tired of all the excessive humblebrag on places like this. Let's see where the tire meets the proverbial road. What DOES work that I'm oh so missing?
Impossible to say since we can't see your profile. I would say, if women you would want to meet aren't writing you, something is lacking.
 
Old 12-15-2016, 06:54 AM
 
1,080 posts, read 832,184 times
Reputation: 1401
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_Goldenfold View Post
Nah. Tried a million angles here. Even the passive ones, or the tried-and-true syntax of others. The only ones that tout it are shills, IMO. Personally, I'm tired of all the excessive humblebrag on places like this. Let's see where the tire meets the proverbial road. What DOES work that I'm oh so missing?
Well, the negative sarcastic tone that you're using here isn't likely to attract many women, for starters. That may or may not be the only thing you're missing, but it's probably one thing.
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