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As a guy that is straddling the geographical line between midwestern, southern, and southwest I can say that NE people always seem the most abrasive to me. Then again I'm sure I seem slow to someone from Jersey.
I've been called abrasive. All cultures have their good and bad points. The most welcome I have ever felt while traveling on business was in Georgia where one woman was appalled at the idea of my not eating a home cooked meal for me week long visit. AM I abrasive? Dunno that is subjective to the person making the call.
Most southern men I've met are perfect gentlemen. They are very charming, old fashioned, humble, and simple. I love southern men.
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Originally Posted by jade408
But I am a sucker for a nice southern or midwester guy. They actually open the door/pull out your chair/etc. Middle Eastern men tend to do this too. Californians? They seem to just look puzzled or don't hold the door.
I can imagine why so many women like southern men and all the things they do for their woman. I like Asian women and all the things they do for their man instead of looking puzzled or insulted. Like you said, you don’t see these behaviors with guys in the USA (California to be specific to your comment). Asian girls have shown a different kind of treatment towards me compared to American women. “Different” kind of treatment, I’ll just leave it like that. Like many have commented in this thread about southern men, yes, there may be a cultural element on how men from certain regions or backgrounds treat women or how women from other cultures treat their man.
I've never been further south than Pennsylvania, so my experience is limited to Dukes of Hazzard re-runs and Duck Dynasty. They seem polite and gentlemanly enough, although I probably wouldn't acclimate all that well.
My husband was born and raised in Wisconsin. He opens the car door for me without fail. He's never once in 26 years of marriage called me a nasty name. He asks me every single day if he can help me with whatever I need. And he is polite and kind to everyone. He never has road rage, he holds doors open for people- male or female. He really fit in well when we lived in South Carolina. BUT, Northern men are also just as polite and gentlemanly, in my opinion. It's all a matter of where you hang out and with whom you associate. If you hang out with rude dorks, you'll have the perception that people from that geographical region are awful. And, believe me, rude dorks are everywhere. Gotta avoid them.
Well, having lived both places, I'll draw an analogy in business situations.
In business meetings in the north, guys just want to get right down to brass tacks.
If you do that in the South, it's the equivalent of farting in the room. You exchange at least 10 minutes of obligatory small talk. Talk football, weather, or anything else except religion or politics. Ask them about their families or hobbies. They'll do the same.
Mind you, this is not shallow stuff. It's actually pretty cagey. Because you're being sized up. Southerners aren't all about numbers. They tend to like to do business with people. ...
The old guy nodded, paused, and said, "Now, I'm just an old country boy, but...." And proceeds to eviscerate the numbers from beginning to end. It was a bloodletting, and he was absolutely right on everything.
So, just remember this. Just because southerners talk slowly, it doesn't mean they think that way.
absolutely. Sounds like Senator Sam (Ervin) from NC. Slow talking, big smile, easy manner; but when he would say "I may be a country lawyer but ...." then you knew the shoe was going to fall. He was one of the most knowledgeable constitutional lawyers of his time. But he lived as a country lawyer.
My boss from NY who married (happily) a KY girl observed that southerners are about relationships and they establish relationships first. He was right, business won't be done until they got your measure.
I've never been further south than Pennsylvania, so my experience is limited to Dukes of Hazzard re-runs and Duck Dynasty. They seem polite and gentlemanly enough, although I probably wouldn't acclimate all that well.
That's TV but at least you didn't reference Hee Haw and The Beverly Hillbillies.
Ahh but I guess I'm showing my age.
My husband was born and raised in Wisconsin. He opens the car door for me without fail. He's never once in 26 years of marriage called me a nasty name. He asks me every single day if he can help me with whatever I need. And he is polite and kind to everyone. He never has road rage, he holds doors open for people- male or female. He really fit in well when we lived in South Carolina. BUT, Northern men are also just as polite and gentlemanly, in my opinion. It's all a matter of where you hang out and with whom you associate. If you hang out with rude dorks, you'll have the perception that people from that geographical region are awful. And, believe me, rude dorks are everywhere. Gotta avoid them.
Yes, this. There are polite men everywhere and impolite jerks everywhere too. Just like there are nice women everywhere and impolite jerks too.
I know, it was just a tongue-in-cheek remark . The Mr. has been around the country a lot more than I have, and he liked Kentucky and Tennessee a lot... and they sure got a kick out of him! He's this big, friendly New Yorker, talking with a heavy accent and moving his hands. The only thing he found unnerving was how polite people are, even in the face of conflict; up here people tell you exactly what they think, with liberal use of f-bombs.
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Originally Posted by 2mares
That's TV but at least you didn't reference Hee Haw and The Beverly Hillbillies.
Ahh but I guess I'm showing my age.
It doesn't make sense to me to make the Northern/ Southern distinction. A better option would be Western, Midwestern, Southern, and East Coast. I can definitely tell you the differences there.
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