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27 and 18 is fine, you got these answer because it's just typical for americans to attach too much meaning to age. For example I find people between 18-20 on average much sharper and often more responsible and caring than the ones in their early 20s. Mostly because they binge drink less and don't eat as much unhealthy food. When you spend your best years living like a degenerate you do not really move forward in the wisdom department.
Anyway, it's possible to have feelings for multiple people. From what you described he probably cares a lot about you, I wouldn't suggest he's using you as previous posters did. Yet he hasn't gotten past his previous relationship. These two things aren't mutually exclusive. However his attitude is immature. He shouldn't be writing these things to his ex, not only to respect you but also out of self respect. In the end you should just do what you feel you should do.
I would advice to keep being with him if you value him so much with a bit of an open mind. If later you find out he's messing with your feelings you will have a broken heart for a couple months, which is fine. That is also a great opportunity for personal growth. But breaking up right now, when you feel he's the best thing in the world, will only leave you with regret and doubt. Which do you think is better?
I know there is quite a big age gap but we do have a lot in common. We've talked about this together many times how alike we are, we have the exact same taste in games, films and music, and our personality and values are the same too. We're both INFPs. (Myers Briggs personality types). I've struggled fitting in all my life at school and college and he's the first person I've had this type of connection with and he feels the same way about me. He said he doesn't have a lot of time for many people because he feels so different to them. I think him realising how strong our connection was made him realise his ex girlfriend wasn't for him.
I think you really need to pay attention to the fact that he was actively seeking out and involving himself in emotional relationships online while in a long-term, committed relationship.
I know that when you're young, and haven't had a lot of experiences fitting in very much, that attention is heady, and it's easy to believe that this bond you created long distance is some kind of cosmic thing, where a person has that lightbulb moment that the connection they have with you is so special and so different that other things in their lives pale in comparison.
But, flash forward to the future. Five years to the future, even. Are YOU going to be that person he realizes, while chatting somebody else up, isn't really the one for him? Do you want to be the one wondering that? People who are always looking, even in committed relationships, are just that...always looking.
I don't think that the age gap is nearly as big a deal as the fact that this is a guy who's developing online relationships while in real-life ones.
I've just returned home after seeing my long distance boyfriend for a few days. I'm 18 and he's 27. We met on an online game this time last year and started to grow really close this summer. I've never felt so close to anyone in my life. We've spoken online for several hours every single day since July and met in person for the first time in October. He had only just broken up with his girlfriend a couple of weeks before we met, so we didn't become a couple until recently. He's been such a gentleman knowing I'm so much younger than him and still a virgin, and has said he wants to take things slow because he respects me so much.
I was worried about us getting together so quickly so soon after ending things with his girlfriend because he was with her for such a long time and she was closer to his age, but he managed to make me feel so much better and ease my worries. He said he had been unhappy with his girlfriend for a very long time and had fallen out of love and that I'm the one he loves. Apparently she was completely selfish and possessive of him. It made him miserable and he could never have a life outside of her. She used him and neglected him.
I had such a lovely time with my boyfriend the last few days. Saturday we arranged to go out with one of his friends who I also know from the online game we play together. My boyfriend asked me to text his friend to let him know he was running late, so I grabbed his phone and did so. I was so upset and shocked at what I then saw...
His ex girlfriends name was quite high up in his list of text messages. I knew they were still talking — my boyfriend made me aware of this and said she's been having a hard time with the break up and pestering him a lot because she knows he's with me now. However, when I saw the most recent message under her name I quickly became aware this wasn't what was going on... My heart was racing and I panicked, my emotions got the better of me, so I clicked her name and saw my boyfriend had sent her loads of texts without a response from her. The last message she actually sent to him was 3 weeks ago. She told him she couldn't be friends with him because she loved him too much but she would be fine, and told him not to worry about her and that she just wanted him to be happy even if it couldn't be with her. He has sent her like 5 text messages since with no response from her at all... He was saying he hoped she was okay, that he really missed her and their time together, talking with her and hanging out with her, and that he thought the world of her and always would.
I don't know what to do or even think. I didn't tell him I saw the messages as it's just so wrong and inappropriate that I looked in the first place, and I just want to pretend I never did... It was so hard being around him the rest of the weekend, but we've been talking online all day together and he seems happy and so am I. I love him so much. What he said to his ex is still in the back of my mind though and it's really upsetting me. I'm so shocked because he seems so happy with me and I thought he was totally over her. What do you guys think?
You are 18 ... drop the old man and try and stick with people your own age!!! You have never felt so close to anyone in your life.. because you have only been alive 18 years!!!! Be your age ... enjoy what being 18 is all about!!! You have too much to loose out on being in a relationship with someone that old!!!!!! There are plenty of fish in the sea.... pick a fresher one ! Being 18 is about exploring who you are!!!! Don't mess up your life. The game of like is just starting!!!! Don't settle or anything so quickly!!! Get out there and see what the world has to offer... don't just settle for the first experience life offers up ... 27 year old gamer... wow ... is he the last man on earth???!!! He is likely not that special ... you are likely making him seem more special then he really is.
RE: What I think ..... YOU ARE TOO YOUNG FOR HIM!!!!
27 and 18 is fine, you got these answer because it's just typical for americans to attach too much meaning to age. For example I find people between 18-20 on average much sharper and often more responsible and caring than the ones in their early 20s. Mostly because they binge drink less and don't eat as much unhealthy food. When you spend your best years living like a degenerate you do not really move forward in the wisdom department.
Anyway, it's possible to have feelings for multiple people. From what you described he probably cares a lot about you, I wouldn't suggest he's using you as previous posters did. Yet he hasn't gotten past his previous relationship. These two things aren't mutually exclusive. However his attitude is immature. He shouldn't be writing these things to his ex, not only to respect you but also out of self respect. In the end you should just do what you feel you should do.
I would advice to keep being with him if you value him so much with a bit of an open mind. If later you find out he's messing with your feelings you will have a broken heart for a couple months, which is fine. That is also a great opportunity for personal growth. But breaking up right now, when you feel he's the best thing in the world, will only leave you with regret and doubt. Which do you think is better?
I 100% disagree. 18 and 27 is a huge huge huge difference!!!! He is too old.... you are too green. You are is 2 very different playing field. At 27 he would have his life together and you need to be working on getting your life together. The choices you make in the next few years are going to heavily impact the rest of the way your life is going to play out! There are lots of people out there... why get stuck on this one... if he was so special someone would have already snapped him up. He is no spring chicken.
So you are seriously in love with a guy, who you just met for the first time a few months ago, after mostly chatting on line. He is telling you what you want to hear, and he have picked up on your youthful vulnerability. Also, you are just getting his side of the story from his perspective. You are setting yourself up to be taken advantage of. Your snooping through his text messages should tell you all you need to know and where his heart still is.
So you are seriously in love with a guy, who you just met for the first time a few months ago, after mostly chatting on line. He is telling you what you want to hear, and he have picked up on your youthful vulnerability. Also, you are just getting his side of the story from his perspective. You are setting yourself up to be taken advantage of. Your snooping through his text messages should tell you all you need to know and where his heart still is.
100% agree!!!! Don't waste your love. Save it. This guy is way too experienced for you. You are going to get taken advantage of. I think you might want to experience love .... but love and lust are pretty often confusing to distinguish between when dealing with men. Girls/ young women are more likely assume the feelings are love ... but sorry men especially one more experienced and going after teenage girls are usually acting out of lust. Been there..... my advice is coming from my own experiences. Be your age ..... don't let someone older steal the opportunity from you. He is too old for you. Be 18. It is a great age.... you just don't see that yet.
Maybe it's a phone I'm not used to but if I want to text somebody, no list of old texts comes up unless I poke around to see what other texts had already been made...incoming or outgoing.
Every phone I've ever texted on, smart phone or not, going back to 2006 (which is about six phones if I'm counting corretly), displays the texting history with the person I'm texting.
Every phone I've ever texted on, smart phone or not, going back to 2006 (which is about six phones if I'm counting corretly), displays the texting history with the person I'm texting.
As for the OP, however, I can only say: TL;DR
I am glad that mine keeps things more private . I'm happy to have to click the extra time to view messages/calls sent and received.
He's 27 and you are 18. You're the little rebound chic. Basically, a long distance side-chic to an emotionally unavailable man.
It's right there in your face so don't make excuses or invent reasons to wait around while he secretly pines over "Her".
You either accept being 2nd best, or grow up, have some dignity and leave him alone.
~ I'm sorry to be blunt, I know the truth hurts, but believe me, lies & denial are a million times more painful in the long run...
* I'd also suggest NOT giving your virginity to a grown man who would drop you the very second his ex pops back up.
Yup this.
Sadly I have been the rebound chick as well. Or as one of my exes recently pointed out... I seem to attract the guys that are on the verge of being homeless and need a bed to crash on. I am "the good enough for now" chick. I am working on becoming the "I need to marry her" chick.
You're a teenager, he's a grown man. Sorry to burst your bubble but he's too old for you. Maybe if you met when you were 24 and he was 33 it would have worked out better.
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! Being 18 is about exploring who you are!!!! Don't mess up your life. The game of like is just starting!!!! Don't settle or anything so quickly!!! Get out there and see what the world has to offer... don't just settle for the first experience life offers up ... 27 year old gamer... wow ... is he the last man on earth???!!! He is likely not that special ... you are likely making him seem more special then he really is.
