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I dated this girl way out of my league for a few months and things seemed fine. I say out of my league because while I have dated around, every guy who I have seen her interact with has asked her out (before we were dating). We're in the same major and have almost all the same classes. I made the first move to friendship and we would regularly hang out and do homework. Eventually asked me out to a sadie-hawkins type of college dance which I assumed was just a friendship thing. There were a lot of guys in our class and at the college who would go so far as to ask her out but after she turned all of them down, (I'm a pretty popular guy so tons of guys who knew me tried to use our friendship to ask her out) she kept making hints that she wanted me to ask her out. So one night I did and we had a nice date. I eventually told her I wanted to date her exclusively and she agreed. We quickly became physical and would spend almost every night together having sex for the last two weeks straight. However, she was bad at initiating anything and would hint until I planned something (like a date or even watching a movie). She would also constantly come to dates and arrangements up to more than an hour late and would blame it on makeup. These were huge warning signs to me and the night she completely stood me up without calling until much later I realized I had to end it (I refuse to date someone who does not respect me as a person and is not nearly as invested as I am). I didn't do anything about it for a week because I thought it would just need some time. I posted a picture of us on a date and it blew up on social media. I started getting a lot of calls about her religion (I'm protestant who's parents are big in the church and she is a hardcore catholic). People who have had large influences on my life told me that a lot of mix religion relationships end because it's hard to have two different church communities (we're both really involved in our own churches). One night I brought up this concern and she said she never thought it was a big deal but she would never leave her religion for a man. I understood but while I was trying to collect my thoughts she panicked and said, "honestly I don't mind where this relationship goes. Either way I will be fine" so I said, lets think about it some more and have this talk in a few days (clearly after saying something like that she wanted to break up). A few days later, before thanksgiving break and after she came back from a club crawl (her friend's birthday) she stopped by the school and I told her that we should break up.
I believe up until this point everything makes sense right? I was hurt that she could toss me away so fast but I could get over it.
The following two weeks after the break I had a hard time getting over her. Some of the guys who were crushing on her in the class took her under their wings (I know these guys well and they are scum and I felt bad for her because they were only friendly to her because she was hot - which they "confessed" later on). She would ignore me in person and would often subtweet me with posts like "when it's over I never look back" and "does anyone else want to waste my time in 2016?". We did not talk but she would like my posts on social media (she rarely likes anyone's posts). One day I posted about how I had not gotten over a cough (which she gave me) for over a week and she retweeted and replied with "You're welcome ". So I thought maybe things were better and after a few texts I asked her if she wanted to get lunch to catch up (this is two week after breakup and until this point I thought she was mad at me). She agreed and we talked for over an hour and a half. She wore the perfume I picked out for her. Neither of us ate our food and the conversation was refreshing and relieving because I was feeling extremely guilty before. She mentioned how she had a new craving for pineapple (which I would always make fun of her for hating) and about how she had dreams where she either had babies or stole babies (idk). She also made a few life choices that I had advised her on. I eventually told her I needed to take a nap as this was the second all-nighter I had pulled in a row. I thought the pineapple and baby stories were weird and after we parted a friend told me she saw her and her best friend eating in the restaurant next door probably analyzing our conversation. The next few days we would send short brief snaps (like I do with my friends) and sometimes I would get a weird moody vibe. After classes she would ignore me and walk by without looking at me. I started to panic because I remembered a few nights where we didn't use protection because she kept complaining about it (she also wasn't on the pill) so I started to worry that with the baby dreams, recent cravings and mood swings that she could be pregnant. In our relationship she would never initiate and would get nervous about serious topics. I would always take the hint and try to guess what she wanted. This time I thought she was doing the same and I was worried that if she was pregnant, she wouldn't tell me and get an abortion (she told me she would get an abortion if she was pregnant a while back). I wanted to get it out of her before she made any rash decisions so I asked her if she was pregnant over text and gave her my reasons why I thought so. She said she wasn't and after a few texts that I thought were just "jokingly" mean on her part, I saw that she and her friend were subtweeting me about asking if she was pregnant and realized that her texts were actually out of anger. She told me that her whole family hates me and before I could get into a fully blown out argument I called my friend to calm me down and went to bed without getting into the argument. The next day I saw that she didn't take down the tweets so I deleted my instagram, twitter and snapchat (which was hard to do because those are the only mediums through which my family can keep up with my life as they live overseas). In the last few days, her friends who used to love me (even after the breakup up until this point) gave me nasty looks and would walk right by me without looking me in the eye, even when one had to push past me to get in her chair. She also skipped a class she had a presentation in and run out of skips for (you lose a letter grade for skipping class) but my friends told me she went to the next one that is completely voluntary (I don't ask my friends for this information, for some reason they keep doing it). ANYWAY. What the hell is going on?! Asking her if she is pregnant is not THAT bad is it?? And the lunch "date" was really nice with no hard feelings or exchange of harsh words.
So what is the deal? Was I a dick? Is she just mad that she didn't break up with me first? Why do her friends hate me now and not two weeks ago when we broke up?
Google does not help with this stuff and if I tell my friends what I have written here it will travel all across the school. I need an experts help. I want to understand because I do not want to make the same mistakes again.
sorry bro you are dunmb as fudge I'm mad just reading this crap. You break up with her for 1. being an hour late(my niggggggaaaaaa women do this on the daily), 2. for her not being with you 1 day/night(bro it happens, not the end of the world unless it was occurring frequently)3. Because of religion???? I understand due me having muslim faith however I'm gonna tell you my take. If I meet a beautiful christian, cathlic, buddist, athiest, etc. I don't care if it's a made up religion. If I see a connection where I could have a future with that person, I will take things step by step and if things progress I will go with my heart. Happiness bro is what you make of it and if you are having the time of your life with a girl that makes you feel good despite her shortcomings as a person(which based on this I can tell you do as well, **** we all do),accept who she is as she will have to do the same. I only read the 1st couple of paragraphs bro and I'm mad.
Last edited by StarfoxGod; 12-09-2016 at 11:53 PM..
I would have broken up with her for the religion reason alone (and that's the only reason I gave her). By describing that I was trying to express how little she cared for our relationship. This is why I am surprised by her recent reaction. I thought she didn't care.
Thanks for reading and replying. You're right, I was probably too demanding.
I would have broken up with her for the religion reason alone (and that's the only reason I gave her). By describing that I was trying to express how little she cared for our relationship. This is why I am surprised by her recent reaction. I thought she didn't care.
Thanks for reading and replying. You're right, I was probably too demanding.
yeah but damn son, you can't be doing that because I'm keeping it a 100 many relationships fail for reasons that are out of your control. Please don't sabotage yourself, just one brother to another.
I can't ask her. I almost did but I think that would do more damage until I know what to apologize for.
Give her space and then communicate with her after a month or so if it's really that important to you. Unfortunately, sometimes we don't get to know why people treat us the way they do, and often it has more to do with them than with you.
Give her space and then communicate with her after a month or so if it's really that important to you. Unfortunately, sometimes we don't get to know why people treat us the way they do, and often it has more to do with them than with you.
Painful truth.
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I'm mad just reading this crap. You break up with her for 1. being an hour late(my niggggggaaaaaa women do this on the daily), 2. for her not being with you 1 day/night(bro it happens, not the end of the world unless it was occurring frequently)3. Because of religion???? I understand due me having muslim faith however I'm gonna tell you my take. If I meet a beautiful christian, cathlic, buddist, athiest, etc. I don't care if it's a made up religion. If I see a connection where I could have a future with that person, I will take things step by step and if things progress I will go with my heart. Happiness bro is what you make of it and if you are having the time of your life with a girl that makes you feel good despite her shortcomings as a person(which based on this I can tell you do as well, **** we all do),accept who she is as she will have to do the same. I only read the 1st couple of paragraphs bro and I'm mad.
Not the reason I broke up with her.
