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If I break up w/ someone, it's for a good reason, so we'd be done FOR GOOD. A person doesn't normally change & even if they do, I would have been so moved on & not want to go backwards & relive any of that.
I've a few that fall into the "ex" files, most have stayed all the way there. There are some though that, while not reconnecting as a couple, we have reconnected to be social, civil, with each other. In some cases time wipes away the anger and you remember the good times. That doesn't mean any of us are looking to reconnect on a deeper level. There were issues then, why commit to possibly suffering through them again?
If she didn't have go on a banging spree then I would absolutely however I wouldn't easily let my girl go away unless the relationship did not build much. I would work with her so she is able to pursue her dreams and or obligations out there but where we would still be together. Either I would move or visit once a week and talk with her every night. My baby is mine and I wouldn't let her just go like that.... hope that explained your question.
The bolder sentiments might explain why you struggled with past relationships. You seem possessive.
I seem to be in the minority here, but I believe in second chances. Just because you both weren’t on the same page back then doesn’t mean you aren’t now. With time, circumstances change and people change with them. If either or both of you had other relationships in between isn't even relavent.
I agree. It amazes me how black and white people seem to be on here about some things. Relationships don't have to end because of some horrible circumstances. Just because you broke up doesn't make your ex a villain. If the breakup occurred just because you were in different places in life or whatever, there's no reason to discount the person.
Or discount them. Who am I to tell anyone what to do? I just know that I'm not that unyielding. Life is more nuanced than simple yes or no questions and a blanket statement that covers every situation.
The bolder sentiments might explain why you struggled with past relationships. You seem possessive.
I mention this is in other threads by the OP. From all the things he says here I get the impression that he does not have a good sense of boundaries. He has publicly posted private conversations with them with their names and faces on it. He has made assumptions about others (like me) based on his own experiences and feelings. It all points to bad boundaries.
I mean no offense by this. There is really no way to tell if he has poor boundaries that can be helped by counseling, like if he is codependent, or if he is a narcissist and sociopathic with low empathy and can only see the world his way with his needs at the center and the whole world just a tool for getting those needs met, which generally can NOT be fixed by counseling.
Either way as long as he cannot see women as autonomous and not an extension of himself and what he wants and expects them to be, he will continue to have the problems he is having. I see this at work sometimes and it is generally in the partner or spouse's interest to end the relationship. Their needs will never matter unless his meeting those needs is payment or a deposit on something he wants from them.
The bolder sentiments might explain why you struggled with past relationships. You seem possessive.
I am to an extent, I wouldn't deny it because you are not the 1st to tell me this. My relationships are more along the lines of:
stay in communication with me a few times a day
If I call you, pick up your phone unless an emergency or unable to, if you cannot, just get back to me asap.
No traveling to far places without discussing the matter with me such as going out of state, in most cases I will want to be present.
No clubbing or drinking without my presence.
I require sex everyday if possible and if we are living together multiple times(doing it any where).
I require the person being attentive such as wishing me a good morning, good afternoon(see how I'm doing and lmk how your day is going), and a goodnight.
I require seeing the person if we are living together at least 4-5 times a week and if it's not possible due to other important matters then it's ok.
Essentially I will do whatever you need me to and always be there for you and will be at your beckoning call as needed. I am the type of person that will drop anything I am doing for my woman but as you said I am possessive to an extent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seija
I mention this is in other threads by the OP. From all the things he says here I get the impression that he does not have a good sense of boundaries. He has publicly posted private conversations with them with their names and faces on it. He has made assumptions about others (like me) based on his own experiences and feelings. It all points to bad boundaries.
I mean no offense by this. There is really no way to tell if he has poor boundaries that can be helped by counseling, like if he is codependent, or if he is a narcissist and sociopathic with low empathy and can only see the world his way with his needs at the center and the whole world just a tool for getting those needs met, which generally can NOT be fixed by counseling.
Either way as long as he cannot see women as autonomous and not an extension of himself and what he wants and expects them to be, he will continue to have the problems he is having. I see this at work sometimes and it is generally in the partner or spouse's interest to end the relationship. Their needs will never matter unless his meeting those needs is payment or a deposit on something he wants from them.
I don't take any offense, however I will say that once you are in a relationship you cannot act as if you are single. In my eyes if you are together there is a sense of belonging to the other individual. I'm not saying that they own you and that you cannot make choices on your own but now once unified you need to see if your partner is ok with it. If a woman cannot accept this then I will just have fun with her and I wouldn't be in a relationship or committed to her at all. It would just be a sexual relationship and that's about it. I know you will disagree with me totally but I am honest with my feelings.
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