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You're smart to stay away, as you said. But when you said You don't make your own bed, you aren't exactly staying away but inviting comments. You can always add when speaking to them the last line of your last post.
I am 21 yrs old and all the older women at my work (ages 45-55) do NOT repect me they tell me what to do and how to live.... what do i need to do to get respected????
First of all, you're 21. A century ago, a 21-year-old would have been considered a mature adult, with all rights and responsibilities thereof. Today, thanks in large part to an educational system that requires a 12-, 16-, or 18-year-long slog to even be considered halfway competent enough to enter the workforce, adult has been pushed back to about the age of 26 or 27.
Yes, there are mature and responsible 18-year-olds out there. But there are a larger proportion of 25-year-olds who can't be trusted with sharp objects or a box of kitchen matches. So you're already at a major disadvantage simply by virtue of your age.
In fact, I counsel businesses a lot. When a client asks me about a hiring decision, I ask the applicant's age. If it's under 30, it's an iffy proposition because said applicant typically doesn't have the maturity or sheer gravitas to make it in a client meeting.
So, as a previous poster acknowledged, respect is earned, not demanded. In fact, demand respect and you'll get the opposite of what you want. Here are ways to earn respect:
1) Demonstrate your maturity and conscientiousness in your dress, your grooming, and your work habits. That doesn't mean that you become a robotic clone in the workplace. But if you're sporting a nose ring, coming in 10 minutes late everyday, taking an hour and fifteen minutes for lunch, spending time making a slew of personal calls, or generally demonstrating a lack of awareness about how adults function in the workplace, then nobody will take you seriously, and will actually regard you with a good deal of suspicion.
Now that's not saying you personally act that way. However, you should scrutinize your own behavior and ask, "How am I earning respect on the job today?"
2) You have to go the extra mile. Get into work five minutes early. Get things done ahead of time. If you're idle, find some way to help increase productivity, or offer to help a co-worker who's snowed under. Do this and, within a week or two, you'll be amazed at how attitudes towards you change.
3) Be a good listener. Pay careful attention to all the little nuances of a meeting. You'd be amazed at how many there are. If there was one thing that differentiates an immature worker from a mature worker, I would say their basic ability to function in a meeting.
4) Leave your personal life at the door. Boyfriend problems? Nobody needs to know about it. Money problems? Nobody needs to know about it. Car problems? Health problems? Pet problems? Nobody needs to know about them, unless they make you late for work. I think that's a huge problem with young workers--a compulsive need to tell fellow workers about every aspect of their lives.
However, if you're seeking respect on the job, you need to do exactly the opposite. For the people you work with probably deal with an entire host of problems in their lives far beyond the scope yours, whether it's raising kids, making ends meeting, dealing with an aging parent. By contrast, almost all the problems of the average 21-year-old can be solved by the application of a little common sense.
What's more (And this applies to ANYBODY), spend a lot of time talking about your personal problems on the job, and you can be sure that it will ultimately cost you professionally. For if you can't manage your personal life, then you won't be able to manage your professional life. Time and again, I've seen this play out--and the same is true with your co-workers.
1) Demonstrate your maturity and conscientiousness in your dress, your grooming, and your work habits. That doesn't mean that you become a robotic clone in the workplace. But if you're sporting a nose ring, coming in 10 minutes late everyday, taking an hour and fifteen minutes for lunch, spending time making a slew of personal calls, or generally demonstrating a lack of awareness about how adults function in the workplace, -
this is me! i actually NEVER dress sex at all whereas, the older women do. i would NEVER be caught dead showing my cleavage whereas they do. i DON'T DRINK, they do and they talk about getting drunk. I go to work 10 minutes early EVERYDAY! they don't.
Why are you so worried about whether or not they respect you? You just have to work with them. Don't be so insecure - that's a sign that you don't respect yourself.
just the ideas were not ideas that would work. She took it as disrespect.
Could you be misinterpreting their trying to guide you as disrespecting you?
Maybe its because (as I mentioned above, being a bit of a narcissist) I'm always right, but I would take it as disrespect as well.
An example. For the work I do, I deal with AutoCAD. I've been using it since I was about 12, programming since 8yrs old, and only touched a real PC for the first time when I was 8. Suffice it to say I have more years of experience behind a keyboard than many adults, without the years of a "career" to prove it.
So, in one meeting there was a problem with production brought up by a partner. I brought up how we can do things differently, making everyone's life easier, if we did x, y, and z (which is the modern way of doing things). The older people in the group said no, that doesn't work, we've tried it before, so on.
Now since I'm not only stubborn, but also Always Right, I had a job where I was running the discipline, and a partner who knew I know what I'm talking about was in charge of the project. I explained what I would like to do, and he let me break the rules. What was estimated to take 50-60 hours took 28.5 (actual logged time). Now, the company is trying to figure out how to incorporate these modern methods into their standards.
Did I take a risk? Sure, if it didn't work out, it would have blown up in my face. But, I gained respect by doing it, having been given permission to "experiment" by a partner, and it worked out beautifully.
In other words, just because "experience" tells an older group of workers it won't work, that doesn't mean that it won't. New things happen all the time, and an older group of workers tend to hold on to the way they do things - "Its how we've always done it. It works." Thats a mindset that stagnates, and doesn't improve the bottom line. Sometimes, its worth it to let the younger crowd take the risk - just make sure they know the risk is their own
I can only speak for myself, there are people in life who are idiots, who don't treat people right. I stay away from them as much as posible. You will not train them to behave as a reasonable person, if you stay around them they will only bring you down emotionally and its not worth it.
Maybe its because (as I mentioned above, being a bit of a narcissist) I'm always right, but I would take it as disrespect as well.
An example. For the work I do, I deal with AutoCAD. I've been using it since I was about 12, programming since 8yrs old, and only touched a real PC for the first time when I was 8. Suffice it to say I have more years of experience behind a keyboard than many adults, without the years of a "career" to prove it.
So, in one meeting there was a problem with production brought up by a partner. I brought up how we can do things differently, making everyone's life easier, if we did x, y, and z (which is the modern way of doing things). The older people in the group said no, that doesn't work, we've tried it before, so on.
Now since I'm not only stubborn, but also Always Right, I had a job where I was running the discipline, and a partner who knew I know what I'm talking about was in charge of the project. I explained what I would like to do, and he let me break the rules. What was estimated to take 50-60 hours took 28.5 (actual logged time). Now, the company is trying to figure out how to incorporate these modern methods into their standards.
Did I take a risk? Sure, if it didn't work out, it would have blown up in my face. But, I gained respect by doing it, having been given permission to "experiment" by a partner, and it worked out beautifully.
In other words, just because "experience" tells an older group of workers it won't work, that doesn't mean that it won't. New things happen all the time, and an older group of workers tend to hold on to the way they do things - "Its how we've always done it. It works." Thats a mindset that stagnates, and doesn't improve the bottom line. Sometimes, its worth it to let the younger crowd take the risk - just make sure they know the risk is their own
*sigh* Ok, I was relating a story where it really would not. And in this case, the employee had no work experience, education, or background knowledge of the field. Of course, there are times when new fresh ideas are good, and the "experienced" folks are "wrong", and people are just too locked into their mentality to try new ideas, but at a certain point, you do have to respect the status quo set by the company -- they are moving forward the way they want.
OK, I am sure there is more, but the example you gave, I don't see them as disrespecting you. Telling you, that well, you *should* make your bed, is not disrespecting you.
I used to work with this guy, it was my first job out of school, I was 25, he was 30. I would talk to him about my adventures, going out on Thursday nights until 2 am, kissing guys on the first date. He would tell me that he goes to bed at 10:30 on work nights so he can be 100% devoted to his job, and that kissing should never occur until you have known someone for at least 3 months. - I never took it as him not respecting me.
The funny thing is, at that time, I thought - what a stogy old guy -- never wants to go out and live life. Now that I am in my 30s, I would never be able to function at work if I lived my life like I did when I was 25. lol.
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