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I can relate. Everyones girl friend or wife thinks I am a bad influence.
Because I teach them to think for themselves and be a real man. May we get too drunk? Sure. Do we go to places of ill repute? Hell yeah. Drug use? No comment.
Man is a wild stallion not meant to be domesticated.
Look at these dudes, like sedentary cows accepting their fate. This is where the dreams of your youth go to DIE.
Either following your influence or their wives. Bunch of bull either way.
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Expecting one person to meet all your needs is a disaster waiting to happen. We need a variety of friends to share a variety of interests. One for shopping with, another for biking, another to play cards with, another for….well, you get the picture. Never ever expect one person to meet all your needs. All you will build in that relationship is resentment.
That sounds like shoes. You basically just have a different one to match for your own convenience. If you're just looking for a body to do activities with, then's an acquaintance.
Friends don't more than just share a few activity interests -friends are people whom you have emotional attachment and genuine loyalty to. And yes, friends are not always gonna enjoy, or be able to get together for, the same stuff, which is ok.
One example I was acquaintance with a woman and her husband called her literally 12 and 13 times a day. He wanted her to talk to him while she was at work and on her way home. After she was home and he hadn't come home yet is the only time she had time to talk to me but as soon as he walked in the door, she had to get off the phone.
She would also hang up in my face whenever he would call on the other line and we're on the phone. I found that behavior from her husband highly excessive but I didn't say anything to her about it, instead I ended the friendship. If she's cool with her husband treating her that way then, it's not my business or place to tell her I think her husband is emotionally abusive and controlling.
What I did was remove myself from the equation because I didn't like the dynamics of OUR friendship which is the only thing I rightfully have a say in. NOT the dynamics between her and her husband in which that is between them and has nothing to do with me.
That is how situations such as this should be handled. You don't attempt to try to correct another adults behavior, you take control over your own actions and behavior and do what's best for you and if it means ending the friendship then so be it. She was hurt when I told her I felt it was best we end the friendship but I wasn't going to start drama between her and her husband and her marriage.
Which is why a lot of mates think there mate's friends are bad influences because you stick your nose in their relationship business when you shouldn't and just respect their relationship whether you agree with the dynamics or not. It's not your place to impose your ideals and views onto someone else.
One example I was acquaintance with a woman and her husband called her literally 12 and 13 times a day. He wanted her to talk to him while she was at work and on her way home. After she was home and he hadn't come home yet is the only time she had time to talk to me but as soon as he walked in the door, she had to get off the phone.
She would also hang up in my face whenever he would call on the other line and we're on the phone. I found that behavior from her husband highly excessive but I didn't say anything to her about it, instead I ended the friendship. If she's cool with her husband treating her that way then, it's not my business or place to tell her I think her husband is emotionally abusive and controlling.
What I did was remove myself from the equation because I didn't like the dynamics of OUR friendship which is the only thing I rightfully have a say in. NOT the dynamics between her and her husband in which that is between them and has nothing to do with me.
That is how situations such as this should be handled. You don't attempt to try to correct another adults behavior, you take control over your own actions and behavior and do what's best for you and if it means ending the friendship then so be it. She was hurt when I told her I felt it was best we end the friendship but I wasn't going to start drama between her and her husband and her marriage.
Which is why a lot of mates think there mate's friends are bad influences because you stick your nose in their relationship business when you shouldn't and just respect their relationship whether you agree with the dynamics or not. It's not your place to impose your ideals and views onto someone else.
Very good post here. If you feel weird about the friendship due to their relationship, you can talk to them about YOUR FRIENDSHIP. B
ut you don't need to volunteer your unsolicited opinions into their romantic relationships, just because their relationships aren't how YOU would handle your own. They're adults. So if they are unhappy, they ought to know they need to address things in their relationships, rather than needing friends to butt in and tell them "you're unhappy."
If no compromise can be made, and things are just going to be that way as long as you're friends, and they have a SO, then you put up with it, or remove yourself. But trying to get them to change the dynamics of their romantic relationships is not your place.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shysister
One example I was acquaintance with a woman and her husband called her literally 12 and 13 times a day. He wanted her to talk to him while she was at work and on her way home. After she was home and he hadn't come home yet is the only time she had time to talk to me but as soon as he walked in the door, she had to get off the phone.
She would also hang up in my face whenever he would call on the other line and we're on the phone. I found that behavior from her husband highly excessive but I didn't say anything to her about it, instead I ended the friendship. If she's cool with her husband treating her that way then, it's not my business or place to tell her I think her husband is emotionally abusive and controlling.
What I did was remove myself from the equation because I didn't like the dynamics of OUR friendship which is the only thing I rightfully have a say in. NOT the dynamics between her and her husband in which that is between them and has nothing to do with me.
That is how situations such as this should be handled. You don't attempt to try to correct another adults behavior, you take control over your own actions and behavior and do what's best for you and if it means ending the friendship then so be it. She was hurt when I told her I felt it was best we end the friendship but I wasn't going to start drama between her and her husband and her marriage.
Which is why a lot of mates think there mate's friends are bad influences because you stick your nose in their relationship business when you shouldn't and just respect their relationship whether you agree with the dynamics or not. It's not your place to impose your ideals and views onto someone else.
In that specific situation, there isn't a way I'm not going to give my opinion that the husband is practicing abusive behavior. That is my friend and, to me, friends watch out for crap like that and real enough to try to tell their friend what is up with behavior like that. Is it butting in? Hell yeah, but in this specific case someone needs to be aware about a likely abusive situation.
In that specific situation, there isn't a way I'm not going to give my opinion that the husband is practicing abusive behavior. That is my friend and, to me, friends watch out for crap like that and real enough to try to tell their friend what is up with behavior like that. Is it butting in? Hell yeah, but in this specific case someone needs to be aware about a likely abusive situation.
To some extent, I do agree with you.
If it's a friend or really good friend of mine, I probably would say something. I wouldn't go into detail or get aggressive by any means, but just make a comment.
If it's just an acquaintance or whatever, I probably won't be as inclined.
I let my late husband know that we didn't need to be welded at the hip. He would early in our marriage ask permission by saying "can I" do this or that thing and I would tell him "I'm not your mother, just let me know you've been invited to play cards and enjoy yourself".
I always wanted him to have that sense of freedom within our marriage.
One of my pet peeves... which really is none of my business and shouldn't bother me but it does... is when couples have one social media account and one email, etc., like JenNDaveSmith. I understand some people have like a "family" email address but it's 2016. You really can't have your own separate accounts and have to share it with your spouse? I've also noticed the people who do this tend to be the type who are shoved up their spouses' asses and want everyone to know it, like "look at me! I have a husband!!"
Like I said, I shouldn't care because to each their own or whatever but it's just weird when I see that
In that specific situation, there isn't a way I'm not going to give my opinion that the husband is practicing abusive behavior. That is my friend and, to me, friends watch out for crap like that and real enough to try to tell their friend what is up with behavior like that. Is it butting in? Hell yeah, but in this specific case someone needs to be aware about a likely abusive situation.
I get what you're saying but how many times has someone tried to be a good friend and give advice only for it to come back and bite them in the butt? The friend is not going to choose you over her husband and what will happen is she will tell her husband that you disapprove of him then guess what? He's going to tell her to cut off the friendship and she's doing to do what he says because you're causing problems.
Or say the friend comes to you and talks crap about her husband and wants to leave him, you help her plan to leave then a few days later she tells you she's decided to work on her marriage. Your friendship wouldn't be the same after that because of course you're going to be angry but what can you do? She's made the choice to stay with her husband whether you agree with it or not and now the friendship is strained or falls apart.
It always ends the same way which is why it's best to keep your nose out of people's relationship and only worry about the dynamics of your friendship and that's it because it will always be a losing battle that you won't win regardless of how good your intentions are.
I can relate. Everyones girl friend or wife thinks I am a bad influence.
Because I teach them to think for themselves and be a real man. May we get too drunk? Sure. Do we go to places of ill repute? Hell yeah. Drug use? No comment.
Man is a wild stallion not meant to be domesticated.
Look at these dudes, like sedentary cows accepting their fate. This is where the dreams of your youth go to DIE.
Roosh, is that you?
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