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She works at a cafe and seemed to be quite nicer to me than to other customers. I am still not sure whether being nice is just a courtesy and would not be surprised if that was the case because it happened multiple times and she seems to be a respectful person. This is something that I like so much, though.
I wonder how to start drawing her attention to me given that she shows up only occasionally and for a short time. And in most of the time, she goes to employees room or gets busy serving customers. Basically, I still do not know anything about her. So how should I dress or behave around her? Also, what can I say to draw her attention to me given such circumstances? When should I request her phone number?
She works at a cafe and seemed to be quite nicer to me than to other customers. I am still not sure whether being nice is just a courtesy and would not be surprised if that was the case because it happened multiple times and she seems to be a respectful person. This is something that I like so much, though.
I wonder how to start drawing her attention to me given that she shows up only occasionally and for a short time. And in most of the time, she goes to employees room or gets busy serving customers. Basically, I still do not know anything about her. So how should I dress or behave around her? Also, what can I say to draw her attention to me given such circumstances? When should I request her phone number?
You've seen her a few times, I guess, and she's seen you? I'd start out by just saying "Hello" or "Hi, how's it going today?" since you are both there off and on. I do this with people I see over and over again in stores/cafes/Starbucks.
You COULD just go right over to her to start up a conversation but it sounds like you're nervous about doing that so that's how I'd start out...you will gradually begin passing more than the time of day, if you find you like each other bit by bit. Really you don't know if you like her yet. You don't know her at all.
Be neat and clean and groomed but don't "dress up" or anything...not for a cafe.
She works at a cafe and seemed to be quite nicer to me than to other customers. I am still not sure whether being nice is just a courtesy and would not be surprised if that was the case because it happened multiple times and she seems to be a respectful person. This is something that I like so much, though.
I wonder how to start drawing her attention to me given that she shows up only occasionally and for a short time. And in most of the time, she goes to employees room or gets busy serving customers. Basically, I still do not know anything about her. So how should I dress or behave around her? Also, what can I say to draw her attention to me given such circumstances? When should I request her phone number?
The only way to know for sure is to strip in front of her and ask her if she likes what she sees. If she says yes then you have your answer!
Haha I'm jokeing. See things like this get very tricky. I used to have a major crush on a waiter for months. He seemed friendly everytime I walked in the resturant. Sometimes I caught him staring at me. He eventually flirted with me here and there but in the end, he never really liked me. I hate when I crush on someone who works at a store, resturant etc because most of the time they have to be friendly with everyone so it's like you never know if they actually like you or are just being polite.
You can try talking to her more and see where it goes from there. Good luck!
How should you dress? What do you mean? Dress how you usually do going to a café.
OP, relax. When she comes to take your order, you can start with some small chit-chat. No long conversations, of course, because she has to work. But something brief to break the ice. See how she responds. If she engages (vs. just giving you a polite response) and seems interested, build on that the next time you go in. After a couple of these interactions, on your next time in, say, "It's nice to see you", or "It's always great to see you", as you start to order. Start leaving her good tips. If there's an interesting film or concert in town, ask her if she's seen the show or if she's into that type of music or film, just as a way of getting to know her taste. Depending on how she responds to these small efforts, you may get a feel for whether she's open to you. See how that goes. This sort of thing can be done at the counter, too, if it's only a counter-service kind of place.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 12-27-2016 at 11:37 AM..
When you're at the counter getting a cup of tea ..... She will no doubt ask you how your doing ( politeness to customers/ chit chat ) ..... and I'd joke " all the better for seeing you my love " sort of thing.
As long as it's done in a confident, humorous and pleasant way It WILL make her smile/giggle and naturally get her attention .
If you are sitting in there having your drink I've no doubt you'll have a moment or 2 where you make eye contact whether that's from her being behind the counter or cleaning up empty cups etc and then by her body language you'll see if there is anything more than just customer politeness
When you're at the counter getting a cup of tea ..... She will no doubt ask you how your doing ( politeness to customers/ chit chat ) ..... and I'd joke " all the better for seeing you my love " sort of thing.
Only do this if you're a naturally confident charmer like our cowboy here, OP.
Be yourself, smile, make eye contact when she takes your order and follow the advice of most of the kind folks here.
You've seen her a few times, I guess, and she's seen you? I'd start out by just saying "Hello" or "Hi, how's it going today?" since you are both there off and on. I do this with people I see over and over again in stores/cafes/Starbucks.
You COULD just go right over to her to start up a conversation but it sounds like you're nervous about doing that so that's how I'd start out...you will gradually begin passing more than the time of day, if you find you like each other bit by bit. Really you don't know if you like her yet. You don't know her at all.
Be neat and clean and groomed but don't "dress up" or anything...not for a cafe.
I do not know if she felt my interest or not, but she would. Eventually.
Haha I'm jokeing. See things like this get very tricky. I used to have a major crush on a waiter for months. He seemed friendly everytime I walked in the resturant. Sometimes I caught him staring at me. He eventually flirted with me here and there but in the end, he never really liked me. I hate when I crush on someone who works at a store, resturant etc because most of the time they have to be friendly with everyone so it's like you never know if they actually like you or are just being polite.
You can try talking to her more and see where it goes from there. Good luck!
That's what I talked about in my original post. She may be friendly because she serves people there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
How should you dress? What do you mean? Dress how you usually do going to a café.
OP, relax. When she comes to take your order, you can start with some small chit-chat. No long conversations, of course, because she has to work. But something brief to break the ice. See how she responds. If she engages (vs. just giving you a polite response) and seems interested, build on that the next time you go in. After a couple of these interactions, on your next time in, say, "It's nice to see you", or "It's always great to see you", as you start to order. Start leaving her good tips. If there's an interesting film or concert in town, ask her if she's seen the show or if she's into that type of music or film, just as a way of getting to know her taste. Depending on how she responds to these small efforts, you may get a feel for whether she's open to you. See how that goes. This sort of thing can be done at the counter, too, if it's only a counter-service kind of place.
Great pieces of advice. Thank you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne
Just curious....how is she nicer to you than she is to other customers?
She was somewhat neutral when she responded to other customers, and she did not look happy or smiley when she was working, nor was does she look stressed or angry, but she was somewhat cheerful when she talked to me. This could be nothing but misinterpretation, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was just courtesy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30
When you're at the counter getting a cup of tea ..... She will no doubt ask you how your doing ( politeness to customers/ chit chat ) ..... and I'd joke " all the better for seeing you my love " sort of thing.
As long as it's done in a confident, humorous and pleasant way It WILL make her smile/giggle and naturally get her attention .
If you are sitting in there having your drink I've no doubt you'll have a moment or 2 where you make eye contact whether that's from her being behind the counter or cleaning up empty cups etc and then by her body language you'll see if there is anything more than just customer politeness
Simples
That could be true. If she develops and interest, then eye contact can happen more frequently.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
Only do this if you're a naturally confident charmer like our cowboy here, OP.
Be yourself, smile, make eye contact when she takes your order and follow the advice of most of the kind folks here.
Mod cut: Quoted post deleted.
I will apply both of these pieces of advice.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 12-29-2016 at 12:59 PM..
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