Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The issue as I see it is that many of these games can last literally for hours upon hours, and people play them daily. People that just sit and watch the same amount of TV are usually no better. Things don't get done around the house, family time is interrupted, etc.. Both of these higher end addicts might end up on My 600 Pound Life due to lack of physical movement and overeating, or it could affect their job/schooling. While I used to watch a lot of TV, I didn't make it the focal point of my life. I played video games when I was younger, but I also like breaking that up with spending time with friends not playing video games.
It is good to have a mix of a virtual life and real life. There are too many young people, mostly men, who are completely addicted to the virtual life due to the fact that some of these games never end and thus they play on forever. This also harms their ability to socialize outside the game, and thus it gets easier to become a complete recluse to most other activities. I had friends/relatives who played WOW. These were some of the most social guys I knew, partied hard during their youth and such. Eventually they all got bored of it I guess because like they said, it just never ends. Those types of games can suck you in and without some restraint a person could never let go. The guys I knew already had social skills in the real world, and they didn't let the game control them. On the other hand, I know other young men who might be forever alone, or at least missed out on lots of traditional experiences in their youth because it was easier to be in the virtual world than the real world.
The OP should have had this discussion with her fiancee as soon as she noticed this. From his world view, he has it great. He has someone who loves him, provides him intimacy, and he can just go and be in his own world for what could be hours upon hours. If she is more wanting to be involved in the real world, she needs to make that be known. Also, there are some folks who think that marriage actually means "they can't ever leave me know," and that causes them to change their behavior in certain aspects (ie: Overeating and getting fat, no longer being active in life, playing even more video games/watching more TV and spending even less time with the new husband/wife, etc.).
none of those issues sound like they are relevant to the OP's situation. She says they do things together and that he still takes care of his normal responsibilities. She just doesn't like that he plays video games.
Like some one else mentioned, if its something you don't like now, it won't get any better when you get married. You have to decide if you want to schedule the rest of your life around video games.
I get what you are all saying, but don't grown men spending lots of time playing video games seem kinda of.... Childish? He is responsible in all the ways that matter, but why not do something productive like learn a new language, learn a new skill/trade etc.?
We all get to choose what to do with our time for enjoyment. Some hobbies are not suppose to be productive but to provide enjoyment. There is nothing wrong with that. Is gaming really any different from stamp collecting, plastic models, photography, etc? Why take away from his chosen past-time? Why look down on it? Why try to change him?
I would be far more concerned with the seemingly lack of communication in regards to his gaming, that it competes with your attention/relationship/needs, and the fact that you had to put things on hold/postpone scheduled agreed events (dates) due to it. I personally would be pissed that I had to postpone agreed dates for any hobby... that places the hobby as more important than time spent with me.
Consider this "practice" for your future lives together. You are engaged now... this is the time to determine if there is a makings for a family between you two.
none of those issues sound like they are relevant to the OP's situation. She says they do things together and that he still takes care of his normal responsibilities. She just doesn't like that he plays video games.
I disagree. If you look at the details of what she wrote, "...he spends lots of time in his man cave and plays with his friends for hours," and how they have had to cancel some activities, it sounds to me that OP has an issue with the amount of time he is playing. Sounds to me like he does just enough to keep things from spiraling out-of-control. Either he has recently changed his habits or it has always bothered the OP and for some reason she is just now asking for opinions on the issue.
I get what you are all saying, but don't grown men spending lots of time playing video games seem kinda of.... Childish? He is responsible in all the ways that matter, but why not do something productive like learn a new language, learn a new skill/trade etc.?
^^^This is completely different than what you wrote in your initial post. Which is it? That you think video games are juvenile, or that he spends too much time playing them and it interferes with real life plans?
No matter what the habit is--if it's video games, going out to bars, gambling, or porn--if you don't like it now and if you can't get him to change before you get married, it's not going to get better after you're married.
Yup. OP, I wonder; does he understand what an engagement is all about? Does he get the concept of marriage and all it entails? It doesn't sound like it.
I get what you are all saying, but don't grown men spending lots of time playing video games seem kinda of.... Childish? He is responsible in all the ways that matter, but why not do something productive like learn a new language, learn a new skill/trade etc.?
This post indicates that you two are not on the same page at all. You value learning and practical things. He values playing and simple pastimes. Your reaction and comments about his gaming indicate that you two won't be compatible, and the marriage wouldn't last. Hard to understand why you became engaged to him if this was an issue for you.
This post indicates that you two are not on the same page at all. You value learning and practical things. He values playing and simple pastimes. Your reaction and comments about his gaming indicate that you two won't be compatible, and the marriage wouldn't last. Hard to understand why you became engaged to him if this was an issue for you.
People like the OP are almost always all talk.
"Why not learn a new language or trade?" While she sits at the tv 5 hours commenting on celebrity break ups on Facebook.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09
People like the OP are almost always all talk.
"Why not learn a new language or trade?" While she sits at the tv 5 hours commenting on celebrity break ups on Facebook.
And posting on C-D.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
