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I really don't care if some of the people on here don't believe me seeing as I owe them no explanation. All I know is me and my friends miss her deeply. It gets exhausting for me having to explain this over and over when all I want to do is move on.
Well, here's the question that I'm curious about: Do you have any female friends? If you don't, that's something to look at. When a guy doesn't include women in his social circle, it can be indicative of a variety of things. Sometimes it's nothing (like for guys who exist in hypermasculine worlds where there just aren't a lot of women that they meet during the workday, for example), but sometimes it's a HUGE red flag. If you can't relate to the opposite gender, that may be something to work on.
There's a book called "Emotional Intelligence" by a guy named Goleman. You may want to flip through it.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
So true! I find that guys who "struggle with dating" (ugh, that seems like a manosphere concept) do so because they are too serious and focused on outcomes, data, what other men do, etc. You know, the engineer types who overthink and turn everything into a formula.
Being natural, and especially, ENJOYING getting to know a variety of women, platonically and romantically, is the key to opening your life to a bunch of different experiences. But you have to find a way to have fun with it. It's not supposed to be hard work.
Well when you crap out on the looks department, you're going to have your work cut out for you. Probably won't be much fun either.
I suggest you just ask those women that you have asked out or gone on dates with.
If someone asked me, I would reply back with an honest answer, but I've been known to be pretty direct.
Heck, some guy didn't ask for it, and I told him straight out what his problems were (but mostly because he was a jerk and I wanted to tell him off). Be prepared to take the criticism though. I actually don't mind it when people point out my character flaws. It gives me a perspective into something I probably never noticed before, and probably should improve on. Mind you though, I mostly point out character or personality flaws. I don't point out things that one can't control such as "your eyes are too wide apart," but if you need to brush your teeth more, I'll tell you that too.
I suggest you just ask those women that you have asked out or gone on dates with.
If someone asked me, I would reply back with an honest answer, but I've been known to be pretty direct.
Heck, some guy didn't ask for it, and I told him straight out what his problems were (but mostly because he was a jerk and I wanted to tell him off). Be prepared to take the criticism though. I actually don't mind it when people point out my character flaws. It gives me a perspective into something I probably never noticed before, and probably should improve on. Mind you though, I mostly point out character or personality flaws. I don't point out things that one can't control such as "your eyes are too wide apart," but if you need to brush your teeth more, I'll tell you that too.
Would you ever worry that the man asking you how he can be more attractive (character/personality wise) might treat your advice as sort of a blue print to date you?
Would you ever worry that the man asking you how he can be more attractive (character/personality wise) might treat your advice as sort of a blue print to date you?
Well, I told the OP to ask people who have rejected him, not potential dates.
If a guy asked me what he can do to make him more attractive, I would tell him. Would I be worried if he did that intentionally to make himself more attractive to me? I think I would be more flattered that he had the guts to ask me and wants to take the initiative to improve himself.
Example: I know this is an unpopular movie, but I loved it growing up. Grease 2 - Michael has a crush on Stephanie. She's a Pink Lady, he's a nerd. He asks her out and she rejects him. She tells him in a song that she wants a "Cool Rider" or aka hot man/bad ass riding a motorcycle. He becomes this Cool Rider and she falls for him. He's worried that she won't like him once he finds out the truth. In the end when she finds out, she still likes him, and is more flattered that he did all this for her. (This is how I would feel, but then again, the guy was already hot to begin with. )
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That came in at number 4 I see.
