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Sorry for the mix up. That's still insanely fast. You were married when you met your second husband and married him before you could really get to know him at all. This is not surprising. You should still be dating, not married.
Throw in the fact that she is only 25. She'll be married and divorced twice before 26.
OP--live alone for awhile. You've been married, according to your timeline, since you were at only 19 or 20. Be alone. Find yourself. Learn to like yourself and become happy without another person around. Finish school. Find work and hobbies you love. Use birth control.
BTW--his problem is not his maturity level. His problem is his abusive behavior.
He's testing you with this threat...and if you give in to him now, it'll only get worse down the line. Go see your family, shake your booty all night, and have fun for once!
But when we do go to my parents house (same area, 40 minutes away), he'll only want to stay about an hour each time then say something like "I need to go home because my stomachs upset and I need to use the bathroom." Every.single.time.
OMG! My ex used to do this every time we were doing ANYTHING that I wanted to do. Finally busted him - he was lactose intolerant and was caught purposely drinking milk before we left the house so that he would have an excuse to make me leave. He, too, was a jealous, abusive control freak. I eventually divorced him. I suggest you do the same because it only gets worse as time goes on.
Thanks, and yes I will go on the trip...just don't know if I will go dancing or not like I want to
As for the timeline, I filed for divorce from my first husband in March 2015 after about 4.5 years together. I met my current husband in August 2015 and we got married end of April 2016. My divorce took 1 year to actually go thru (so finalized Jan 2016) because my ex-husband refused to sign....
I think you'd do better for yourself if you slowed things down...a lot. Don't be so quick to get married and you might find a better sort of man or at least know him better BEFORE getting married!
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kgryfon
OMG! My ex used to do this every time we were doing ANYTHING that I wanted to do. Finally busted him - he was lactose intolerant and was caught purposely drinking milk before we left the house so that he would have an excuse to make me leave. He, too, was a jealous, abusive control freak. I eventually divorced him. I suggest you do the same because it only gets worse as time goes on.
He's a nut case. OK, so you're in school, good for you! And you live close enough to your mom that it sounds like you could commute to work and school from her place, if you had to move back in with her, even though commuting might take some time out of your day. I would seriously consider that option, if I were you. Once you complete your MA program, you can get a better-paying job, and get your own place.
Good luck! It's a new year, OP. Time for a new life.
Thanks!
Yes, I am getting my masters degree currently. I actually wouldn't have to move at all. The house is in my name only as are all of our bills and both of our cars. He would be the one that would have to move...and the only place he has to go is a 3 bedroom apartment that already has 6 occupants.
OMG! My ex used to do this every time we were doing ANYTHING that I wanted to do. Finally busted him - he was lactose intolerant and was caught purposely drinking milk before we left the house so that he would have an excuse to make me leave. He, too, was a jealous, abusive control freak. I eventually divorced him. I suggest you do the same because it only gets worse as time goes on.
Oh wow that's crazy! Drinking milk & making himself sick just to control you? Glad you got out of that marriage.
It drives me crazy when my husband does that. Funny how his stomach is never sick when we are at his friend's house for a BBQ...
In my previous post, I discussed all the issues i've been having with my husband. We have only been married 8 months. He had sent p*rn scenes where he photoshopped his head on the man & his friend's sister on the woman to a friend, he has messages from his ex fiancee & her best friend (not terrible, but not "right" to talk to them), he told me I'm not allowed to take photos with other men...when he saw a pic of myself and my longtime coworker at a work Christmas party posing with a prize we won.
To make a long story short, last night I finally confronted him about the pics. He claims that his friends send him p*rn but he tries to delete it. He got mad about an acne mark I had on my neck and asked me who made the mark....then he got angry that I am going to visit my aunt & 2 female cousins in Louisiana next weekend alone. The last time I asked him to go in March, he told me "I hate Louisiana, no. It's all voodoo magic and h**kers" and he never takes off work to go places with me cuz he works construction.
He was even more angry because my female cousin & I were going to have a "girl's night" and go out dancing at a bar. My husband knows I LOVE to dance, it's one of my passions especially latin dancing. I have not gone out with ANY friends alone this year, even tho I am 25 years old. He said "If you go to Louisiana next week, you will come back & I will be gone. You will be single. I'm not going to control you it's your choice." I reminded him I let him go out alone this summer with his friend i'll call "Mike" multiple times to go to a bar downtown and to his friends house to drink/play video games till 2 am...he said that it was ok for him because I was sick with my heart problems so I couldn't go due to the hot weather.
We scream and cry for an hour over other things. I then say "Ok, am I allowed to go to Louisiana if I don't go to any bar, just spend time with my family?" He said "It's not a good idea. I don't like that idea at all. I have a bad feeling in my chest that something will happen if you go alone without me there to protect you." I said "You never have that premonition when I go to work alone in Alabama. why did you marry me if you don't trust me?" Then he says "No it's not about trust. I just have this bad feeling in my chest that something bad is going to happen. You aren't my slave so go if you want, but I don't like the idea at all." I asked him if he still loves me & he said "i'll love you forever."
So....now I don't know what to do, I feel sick. If I don't go see my family, my husband will be happy. If I do go see them, my husband has threatened to leave me. I don't know what to do, is this normal for a husband to not want his wife to go on vacation alone???
He sounds like a real winner. Congrats.
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