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Old 01-08-2017, 03:19 PM
 
1,478 posts, read 1,514,349 times
Reputation: 3411

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.mhernandez View Post
Wow that was a very interesting story. That was nice of you to let your wife have that time to clear her head. I agree with you, I am going to go on vacation & if he leaves me when I return...so be it. I would never dare to tell him he cannot do something without me unless it was something really crazy like a rave or something lol.
You definitely shouldn't get married again until you can realize that nobody's husband has to 'let' them do anything. Marriage is about being equals, you should respect each other to involve each other in decisions like this but he had no say in whether she was 'allowed' to go or not.
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Old 01-08-2017, 04:23 PM
 
95 posts, read 83,702 times
Reputation: 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lbjen View Post
You definitely shouldn't get married again until you can realize that nobody's husband has to 'let' them do anything. Marriage is about being equals, you should respect each other to involve each other in decisions like this but he had no say in whether she was 'allowed' to go or not.
I agree, I don't know if I'll ever get married again at this point. I'm going to go on my trip as planned and let whatever happens happen. I plan to leave on Thursday night right after work because I'm afraid if I don't leave till Friday morning when he'll be at home, then he'll try to stop me from going.
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Old 01-08-2017, 04:32 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,306,679 times
Reputation: 8628
Controlling alert! Divorce this guy fast!
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:17 AM
 
95 posts, read 83,702 times
Reputation: 57
Now the last few days he's been acting overly nice: buying me milkshakes, giving me a hand massage, and doing his dishes. Very strange, he goes from saying he's leaving me to that...
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:21 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,944,601 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.mhernandez View Post
Now the last few days he's been acting overly nice: buying me milkshakes, giving me a hand massage, and doing his dishes. Very strange, he goes from saying he's leaving me to that...
It's not strange. It's very typical of an abuser to be manipulative.

Don't fall for it.
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Old 01-10-2017, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Virginia
10,093 posts, read 6,433,756 times
Reputation: 27661
I encourage you to go on your trip as well, but if it were me, I'd make darned sure that you have someone you trust keeping an eye on your place to make sure your soon-to-be ex doesn't take off with everything in the place if he does leave. You just might come back to an empty home.
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Old 01-10-2017, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Central Virginia
6,561 posts, read 8,393,687 times
Reputation: 18794
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.mhernandez View Post
Now the last few days he's been acting overly nice: buying me milkshakes, giving me a hand massage, and doing his dishes. Very strange, he goes from saying he's leaving me to that...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
It's not strange. It's very typical of an abuser to be manipulative.

Don't fall for it.
Yep. Yep. Classic.

http://www.newhopeforwomen.org/abuser-tricks
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Old 01-10-2017, 11:40 AM
 
8,779 posts, read 9,452,560 times
Reputation: 9548
He senses something is wrong and is attempting to "make it better" the only way he knows how.

Everyone does this in situions they hold some agency towards. It's all attempts to mainipuate others to a way of feeling or being.

what you have to remind yourself of is the larger situion you are in...
You're not happy, and part of that has nothing to do with your husbands jerk behavior. You need to get away from the external drama and stress and work on you.

You need to address yourself or nothing will change for you moving forward...

The more you write the more it's obvious you yourself are just not ready for marriage.
I think you "want to be" married.
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Old 01-11-2017, 07:51 AM
 
95 posts, read 83,702 times
Reputation: 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by HokieFan View Post
Wow, that sounds exactly like him. And I figured that's why he's being nice to me. He's trying to reel me back in but it will happen again i'm sure. I'm mean we've only been married 8 months & he's already telling me I cannot take any pictures with male friends or go see family in another state alone...
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:19 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,764 posts, read 19,972,298 times
Reputation: 43163
Be prepared that when you return, he went through your stuff or burned/threw away some. I reccommend to take everything important with you or store at your parents house.


For the future I would stay away from hot heads - seems you married the same kind of man twice. No more overly jealous Carlos or Marcos's - how about a John or a James?


Did he marry you for immigration purposes?
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