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Wow that was a very interesting story. That was nice of you to let your wife have that time to clear her head. I agree with you, I am going to go on vacation & if he leaves me when I return...so be it. I would never dare to tell him he cannot do something without me unless it was something really crazy like a rave or something lol.
You definitely shouldn't get married again until you can realize that nobody's husband has to 'let' them do anything. Marriage is about being equals, you should respect each other to involve each other in decisions like this but he had no say in whether she was 'allowed' to go or not.
You definitely shouldn't get married again until you can realize that nobody's husband has to 'let' them do anything. Marriage is about being equals, you should respect each other to involve each other in decisions like this but he had no say in whether she was 'allowed' to go or not.
I agree, I don't know if I'll ever get married again at this point. I'm going to go on my trip as planned and let whatever happens happen. I plan to leave on Thursday night right after work because I'm afraid if I don't leave till Friday morning when he'll be at home, then he'll try to stop me from going.
Now the last few days he's been acting overly nice: buying me milkshakes, giving me a hand massage, and doing his dishes. Very strange, he goes from saying he's leaving me to that...
Now the last few days he's been acting overly nice: buying me milkshakes, giving me a hand massage, and doing his dishes. Very strange, he goes from saying he's leaving me to that...
It's not strange. It's very typical of an abuser to be manipulative.
I encourage you to go on your trip as well, but if it were me, I'd make darned sure that you have someone you trust keeping an eye on your place to make sure your soon-to-be ex doesn't take off with everything in the place if he does leave. You just might come back to an empty home.
Now the last few days he's been acting overly nice: buying me milkshakes, giving me a hand massage, and doing his dishes. Very strange, he goes from saying he's leaving me to that...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
It's not strange. It's very typical of an abuser to be manipulative.
He senses something is wrong and is attempting to "make it better" the only way he knows how.
Everyone does this in situions they hold some agency towards. It's all attempts to mainipuate others to a way of feeling or being.
what you have to remind yourself of is the larger situion you are in...
You're not happy, and part of that has nothing to do with your husbands jerk behavior. You need to get away from the external drama and stress and work on you.
You need to address yourself or nothing will change for you moving forward...
The more you write the more it's obvious you yourself are just not ready for marriage.
I think you "want to be" married.
Wow, that sounds exactly like him. And I figured that's why he's being nice to me. He's trying to reel me back in but it will happen again i'm sure. I'm mean we've only been married 8 months & he's already telling me I cannot take any pictures with male friends or go see family in another state alone...
Be prepared that when you return, he went through your stuff or burned/threw away some. I reccommend to take everything important with you or store at your parents house.
For the future I would stay away from hot heads - seems you married the same kind of man twice. No more overly jealous Carlos or Marcos's - how about a John or a James?
Did he marry you for immigration purposes?
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