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Thank you Bluefrogs yes. I pity almost every married-with-kids man I know. All they do is worry about money/taxes, they call their wife the boss, they clearly have no attraction left for her, they talk about porn more than singles do, they have to get their wife's permission to do most anything and are clearly second in charge. They go from fit in their 30s to heart-attack risky and overweight by 45. If they get their health back together, they become happier around 60 as retirement approaches.
Bad choice young men, bad choice.
Could be. I can't judge very well since I don't know (A) very many single people or (B) very many happy people.
I will say this:
My list of admired people includes some that have never married. Seems to me that sometimes they do more with their lives.
Al Pacino, Wilt Chamberlain, Lindsay Graham, Dana Delany, Condoleeza Rice, Jeremy Wade (River Monsters), both Wright brothers and a whole bunch of scientist types are my favorites.
General studies have shown that people in relationships are healthier and happier.
Doesn't mean there aren't healthy and happy singles out there, and they don't need you to believe them.
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Wow, OP. Thanks for the enlightenment! I never knew I was unhappy! Better call the FWB and tell him he has to lock it down ASAP or I'm gonna go in search of my future hubby!
What utter drivel. You're not happy being single, I guess? Ok, then maybe you should find someone - try eHarmony. And has it occurred to you that people who are single and drink to much are single because they're freakin' alcoholics and no one wants to spend their life with one of those?
I just spent a month with my family, including a full morning with one of my closest cousins and his delightful family. I love my cousin and his wife and am in awe of their amazing marriage, and I've always felt like I have a special bond with his sons, even if they don't see me often. They have a habit of carrying my gifts with them wherever they go, which kinda kills me. As joyful as that morning was, and as much affection and respect is between my cousin and his wife, that family life is simply not for me.
I like my solitude. It brings me joy. My perfect morning involves a hot cup of tea, a good book and my dogs snuggled up at my feet. Prelude that the evening before with a romp with a guy who leaves after we're done, and life is just about perfect.
I honestly can't remember what lonely feels like - I just know it went away sometime after I came out of my shell in my 20s, got outside my head and got over myself, and started taking my personal relationships seriously. I've got a lot of friends. They fill my life. One day I will grow old with my two best friends of nearly 30 years. We're already starting to plan for that eventuality at 40. Fortunately, we know enough to give each other the space we require.
It's not conventional, but I'd wither in a conventional scenario. Until being diagnosed with ADD a little over a decade ago, I tried to do things the way everyone else did, and found my unhappiness and frustration building to an unbearable point - then I started to do things my way, and it went away. My life changed entirely. Hell, I met the perfect guy a few years ago and ran screaming from him because I had no desire to let him into the world I had built for myself. And I don't regret it; rather, it was an epiphany of sorts.
If you need a partner for your happiness to be complete, well fine. Go for it. But don't attribute discontent and alcoholism to those of us who aren't inclined the same way.
I think I might be happier if I was coupled up with someone who was "perfect" for me but I don't know anyone like that at the moment and I know from the past that I'm miserable with someone who isn't, so being single is the happiest place I can be right now. I had a long, happy marriage until it wasn't, and then I was extremely relieved for it to be over. I've been on both sides of this issue.
There are people who are happier with someone, anyone, rather than being alone but that's not me. My default position is alone and I usually pick and choose carefully when I'm not. Sometimes I'm social and go out with other people for their sake more than mine.
Short-term, yes if they are going through life changes or improving themselves to be a better person. Long-term, no. I've met people who say they're happy being single but their words and actions tells me differently. Meaning, they either complain about how lonely they are or drink as an escape to avoid dealing with their feelings.
Why do you care? You're not the one living their life and they could be happier and more fulfilled than someone who is married.
I hate being single but I was happily married until my husband passed away so my circumstances are unusual. I personally don't think I could be happy if I never found love again but I believe some people enjoy being single long-term.
I think a lot depends on the type of personality that a person has and possibly their past experiences with relationships. I've been lucky enough to have amazing love before and I want that again but if you've never had that experience you can't miss what you've never had. Also, some people have had such bad experiences that they're happy not to deal with another person again.
I also think if you are fulfilled in other areas of your life and are generally a happy person you are much more likely to be happy being single. I know a few people like this. They have great lives and are content being single.
Short-term, yes if they are going through life changes or improving themselves to be a better person. Long-term, no. I've met people who say they're happy being single but their words and actions tells me differently. Meaning, they either complain about how lonely they are or drink as an escape to avoid dealing with their feelings.
OK, let me challenge you.
I'm a long term married person and prior to that I was borderline obsessive about being in (at least attempted) LTRs.
If I had a redo .... I would not follow that plan.
"Happily coupled" people say they are happy but their words and actions tell me differently - lot of alcoholics there, as well. Being part of a couple doesn't automatically make you happy.
Lots of alkies and cheaters there.
Another unscientific bit of street observation is that the most "picture postcard perfect" couples / families seem to have the darkest things hidden behind the scenes.
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