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Unlike a girl who can leave work early just to take Megan to Gymboree, allegedly, because the nanny quit, he can't leave work; he has to make sure he fulfills his responsibilities to his job, first & foremost. Chicks may get paid a little less in some fields, but they get a lot of perks in return (in our group, with legal threats) our chick got to be full partner - working 2/5 of the time.! If he gets fired, where's he gonna find a chick that will support him?
Last edited by TwinbrookNine; 01-13-2017 at 04:34 PM..
family dynamics in business have him conflicted on where to put his allegences.
If I had to guess why he "guilt trips you" it's becuase he doesn't feel you understand his position dealing with both family and company responsibilities. You are only focused on how his actions affect you.
This creates a circular argument and confusion between the parties
You're so focused on where your own agency lays that it becomes the argument to protect for one another instead of just dealing with the actual base issue.
The splinters don't matter, get to the source if you want to permanently attempt to remove the infection.
Have you ever attempted to have a discussion about work and family with him or otherwise tried to openly understand his position in these things?
It could clear up a lot of the confusion and lack of understanding going on for you.
You may not get the results you want, but you will get answers.
Last edited by rego00123; 01-13-2017 at 04:31 PM..
No it isn't about that he doesn't want to go to my functions....it's anytime I ask him for anything or even on a Saturday he says he might have to work yet he has maybe gone into work 2 times on a sat in 10 years. Whenever he says " you want me to lose my job" I call him out on the fact that he downs seem to worry when he has things to do and he just repeats "well if you don't care that I lose my job, then I'll leave early". And I rarely ask him to leave early.
His father owns the company an he would never fire him.
Again.. he doesn't want to do any of that stuff so he makes up the excuse.
No it isn't about that he doesn't want to go to my functions....it's anytime I ask him for anything or even on a Saturday he says he might have to work yet he has maybe gone into work 2 times on a sat in 10 years. Whenever he says " you want me to lose my job" I call him out on the fact that he downs seem to worry when he has things to do and he just repeats "well if you don't care that I lose my job, then I'll leave early". And I rarely ask him to leave early.
His father owns the company an he would never fire him.
Maybe it makes him feel important to seem needed all the time.
Ask your husband why he does what he does. No one here would be able to venture an ill informed guess.
He is your husband and you should be able to discuss this with him.
Unlike a girl who can leave work early just to take Megan to Gymboree because the nanny quit, he has to make sure he fulfills his responsibilities to his job, first & foremost. Chicks may get paid a little less in some fields, but they get a lot of perks in return. If he gets fired, where's he gonna find a chick that will support him?
He's the V f-ing P! Yes, he has responsibilities, and the OP shouldn't expect him to go to every little social occasion. But come on; a few times a year he can leave early, as he does for his own appointments and whatever. And I'm curious what "early" means. It sounds like he works beyond 5 pm. How far beyond? Most guys can leave at 6 for a 7pm dinner or gathering.
No it isn't about that he doesn't want to go to my functions....it's anytime I ask him for anything or even on a Saturday he says he might have to work yet he has maybe gone into work 2 times on a sat in 10 years. Whenever he says " you want me to lose my job" I call him out on the fact that he downs seem to worry when he has things to do and he just repeats "well if you don't care that I lose my job, then I'll leave early". And I rarely ask him to leave early.
His father owns the company an he would never fire him.
Again, OP--you need to turn the tables on him. He won't even do anything with you on weekends? What?? No couple activities? What do you two do for togetherness? Outside the bedroom, that is.
Back to turning the tables: when he comes up with the work excuse for a Saturday, tell him if he's not into the relationship with you, there's no need to continue it. Why continue a charade? Better to separate. Try to roll this off your tongue casually. Stand back, see what happens.
its a family business???? then thats a whole different world
i worked with a company that had 3 owners, all brothers passed down from the father....
they got along overall very well......and one of the wives was the office girl/administrator
the family was in harmony...until..... the two other wives started to work there...different responsibilities but didnt matter to them they were all the owners wife....
things started going downhill when one of the wives started piking apart the other wives, there schedules and how many nights she worked or got off early....
then the mud was flying... the first wife which never had issues is now threatening to quit,,,the 2nd and 3rd wife are allies and poison...putting their husbands thru hell.....
the old man...called a meeting of the family outside of work,,, and said enough!!!!!!
all this conflict was never here - we all have 3 choices.... to keep going....to sell the business...or for wife 2 and 3 to get another job outside of the company..
that old man just saved the business...because no one else would clear the air
to the op,,,,,, your husband is also a boss,,,,so he says hes going to leave early to meet you ,,,,,,,,what if all the rest of them do this?? or what if he already told his crew/managers they can no longer do this...???
if this is his fathers company......whats he going to say...hey dad im taking half the day off (and they are backed up for work.....????
family dynamics throws a huge wrench into this..
you cant ask for him to leave early....but you can ask "hey can i run an errand for you"?? and maybe we can grab lunch?????? this is still productive
whatever you do dont make it a win/lose scenario putting your husband thru the grinder...... that he puts his work ahead of you..
if he makes good money and you have nice things,,,then back off ......he may get this business one day
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