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Well, he actually has a job and being a graduate from Hardvard University, I would say, he has a decent pay too. He is working on his PhD research paper but he is 99% done with school. He is majoring in financing, btw.
I on the other hand, am a student and have a part time low paid job.
OP, next time he suggests going out to dinner, suggest a place that costs half what you paid last time. (Thai. Chinese. Whatever.) See what happens. If he pays for you both, great. If he doesn't, at least you know that dinner won't set you back on your utility bills for the months, or something. Really, it wasn't very considerate of him to take you to an expensive place.
OP, next time he suggests going out to dinner, suggest a place that costs half what you paid last time. (Thai. Chinese. Whatever.) See what happens. If he pays for you both, great. If he doesn't, at least you know that dinner won't set you back on your utility bills for the months, or something. Really, it wasn't very considerate of him to take you to an expensive place.
It wasn't really an expensive place. It was a bar/restaurant, very casual but popular. Meal was about 16$ per person, my cocktail was 13$ and he had 3 drinks of whiskey. It came up to 80 with taxes and we left 20$ tips. He actually paid 60 and I paid 40$ (basically my part 13 plus 16 plus taxes and tip is about 40$) but, the point is we split it. I dont mind it, just, as I said, I heard it was a sign a guy doesnt really care.
If you're really interested in a guy and you want to know if he is really interested in you and wants to pursue something serious, don't have sex so quickly.
Two weeks till he replies forget it,that is not a man who has fallen for you,but one who is considering whether to bother and then when nothing else arrived decides to contact you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linguist
Met a guy online. Went on two dates. In between dates, we rarely kept in touch, knly to set up and confirm time and location (done by him). Third date he asked me over to watch a movie. We ended up having sex. When I was leaving in the morning he gave me a book that I really liked. Again, he kept in touch but not every day. He also set up the next date and I went over again to his place. Had breakfast in the morning. Few days afterwards, I asked him (via text) what he was looking for. He said he thinks there was chemistry between us, so we should see where it goes. And he also said he wasnt looking for anything casual. When I didnt hear from him in the next two days, I ended things. Two weeks later, he contacts me, apologizes for being distant and not keeping in touch (he is working on his PhD paper) and asks me if I wpuld give him another chance and have dinner with him.
Is it possible he is honest and want something serious? Should I go out with him?
Additional info:
On the first date, he got the check (well I let him walk to the bar and pay for the two drinks we had). It was really a cheap date and I didnt chase him to split the bill.
The second one, he asked me out and picked the restaurant. The bill was about 100$ and we split it. I have heard when the guy lets you split the bill this early he just doesnt care how you see him, because he is not that intrested. Then he asked me over to go to his place on the third date. (another red flag?) Also both times we had sex, and I was leaving his place, he would only give me a peck on the cheek.
All of these, with the minimal contact in between dates made me think he is not that intrested.
Now, he wants to try again....
Two weeks till he replies forget it,that is not a man who has fallen for you,but one who is considering whether to bother and then when nothing else arrived decides to contact you.
lol. Possibly. But it's also possible he really was under a deadline with his PhD thesis, and didn't have time. I don't see what harm one more date or two could do, to scope him out and get a clearer idea of where he's at.
In his defense, when I told him I dont want to keep seeing him, I also mentioned that I will be out of town the following week (and wanted to give him his book back, but he told me to just keep it). So, I guess, he waited for me to come back from vacation (it was only 3 days trip but he doesnt know that. He knows I was out of town).
In his defense, when I told him I dont want to keep seeing him, I also mentioned that I will be out of town the following week (and wanted to give him his book back, but he told me to just keep it). So, I guess, he waited for me to come back from vacation (it was only 3 days trip but he doesnt know that. He knows I was out of town).
OP, we can all sit here and try to second-guess every moment with you, but IMO, the only way to plug back into reality and find out how he feels is to see him again. If you see him once or twice more and come away feeling used or not valued, then you can break it off at that point. But you said you liked him. Who knows--maybe he feels the same way about you. (Full disclosure; I tend to be a bit of an optimist. And I LOVE happy endings! )
OP, we can all sit here and try to second-guess every moment with you, but IMO, the only way to plug back into reality and find out how he feels is to see him again. If you see him once or twice more and come away feeling used or not valued, then you can break it off at that point. But you said you liked him. Who knows--maybe he feels the same way about you. (Full disclosure; I tend to be a bit of an optimist. And I LOVE happy endings! )
Yes, I guess I am going to show up for our date on Tuesday. Btw. he just texted asking about my weekend.
Thank you
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