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Old 01-17-2017, 11:15 AM
 
264 posts, read 190,845 times
Reputation: 102

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I did have cognitive behaviour therapy a couple of years ago which did help and I'm a lot better.
I used to be scared to leave the house,I stopped going out for a year.
I seen a therapist and gradually started walking to the shops or to a friends and now thankfully I can go anywhere alone and make plans.
A couple of years ago I couldn't even talk to someone on the phone never mind start a "relationship"
With someone who was a stranger BUT the depression is hard to get over.
It's never left me,he made me feel like I was worth something and now that he has gone and in such a cruel way I'm struggling.
I know it's not healthy that as you say relying on another person to validate me.
It's a vicious cycle ..feeling worthless-meeting someone who tells you your special,your a keeper so feeling like actually you are worth something ..then he ghosts you and you feel back to square one -worthless
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Old 01-17-2017, 11:16 AM
 
264 posts, read 190,845 times
Reputation: 102
He didn't know anything about the depression,to anyone they would think I was happy go lucky,
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Old 01-17-2017, 11:18 AM
 
264 posts, read 190,845 times
Reputation: 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by MurrayMoe10 View Post
That's why I asked her the question I asked above. I know all too well what it is to look for personal fulfillment in another person and only realized after treating my anxiety and depression that the answer lay within me, not another person.


I'm hoping Kellyanne can do this too.
I hope one day this horrible sadness (actually it isn't even sadness it's just emptiness..goes away.
I don't even know if it's even about him anymore or if it's me
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Old 01-17-2017, 11:22 AM
 
345 posts, read 276,249 times
Reputation: 680
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellyanne29 View Post
I hope one day this horrible sadness (actually it isn't even sadness it's just emptiness..goes away.
I don't even know if it's even about him anymore or if it's me
It's something you have to manage. Are you still doing treatment?

It's like any other illness. You have to find proper treatment to manage it.

It may never completely go away but you have to work at finding ways to mitigate the symptoms.
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Old 01-17-2017, 11:28 AM
 
1,619 posts, read 1,100,500 times
Reputation: 3234
You have to stop thinking about it. You are going to drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out. The guy is a coward, a loser, an a$$hole. He is not worth the aggravation.
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Old 01-17-2017, 11:42 AM
 
251 posts, read 188,376 times
Reputation: 588
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellyanne29 View Post
I don't know ..in my head I thought this was going somewhere and thought he was into me (because he said) and we got on well,4 months of talking all day every day I miss it.
How do I start from scratch again with a stranger
It was only 4 months not 40 years, you live your life the way you did before you met him. You're making way more of this short relationship than it really was. It was a short fling and it's over now. It sounds like you really need to work on yourself and figure out why you can't let go of someone that was in your life for such a short time. It hurts yes but you will survive this.
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Old 01-17-2017, 11:49 AM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,631,840 times
Reputation: 3769
Ghosting is the dating norm it seems nowadays. Don't get emotionally invested in anyone even after a couple of months.

It's a sad reality, but it is what it is.

I think you can safely come to a conclusion that anything that seemed to be there before is not there now. Time to move on. Plenty of guys out there.
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Old 01-17-2017, 11:54 AM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,631,840 times
Reputation: 3769
Quote:
Originally Posted by MurrayMoe10 View Post
Only real cowards/losers ghost like this. Be glad you are rid of him. He sounds like a jerk.
I can't count on my fingers how many times I've been ghosted from the women I've dated but I've yet to hear a woman being called a coward for doing it. Have to point out the double standard.

I personally think it's inconsiderate and an immature behavior on both ends of the spectrum.

Last edited by Mikelee81; 01-17-2017 at 12:55 PM..
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Old 01-17-2017, 11:58 AM
 
264 posts, read 190,845 times
Reputation: 102
No not having any treatment,having had any for a while now.
I know il get over it ,it just hurts at the minute.
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Old 01-17-2017, 12:15 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,203 posts, read 52,636,749 times
Reputation: 52693
Need to write this guy off as an emotional wimp, a coward basically. A grown up adult doesn't pull a ghost move after dating someone pretty steadily for a few months.

Move on, stop thinking about it, once in a while in life you run across people that aren't properly equipped in life, I think at the end of the day you should probably actually feel sorry for this man, the man-boy that isn't capable of facing life and dealing with things. He probably wasn't feeling the relationship but didn't have the set to tell you that in some shape or form other than to just vacate.

Is this the kind of person you wanna waste your time on???
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