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Maybe it's just me, because I'm definitely not that "understanding". If my bf still had feelings for another girl, that would be the end of it for me. A relationship is hard enough without a third person involved. No thanks.
If he does admit he still has feelings, and I'm understanding about it, there is a chance we can make it work between us, right?
More of a chance than if you don't talk to him about it or aren't understanding.
But, every relationship has less chance of working out than it does of not working out.
Yours has less chance than that due to the circumstances of its beginning.
Quote:
Originally Posted by natiam
A relationship is hard enough without a third person involved
Quote:
His feelings will go away for her in time as long as our relationship continues to be everything he wants?
You're not listening.
His feelings will probably never go completely away.
Last edited by DuckOfMs; 01-22-2017 at 06:05 PM..
Reason: "not" :)
OP, please don't listen to any of these people telling your what he's going to do.
How can they possibly know? - an honest question.
They don't.
He probably doesn't either.
I'm just asking you to think about what makes sense.
*He probably still has some romantic feelings for her - they dated for 3 years.
*You can't expect to just ignore those feelings
*Talk to him about it - not a bunch of strangers on the internet.
I agree with this.
OP you keep looking for logic to explain his actions, but feelings don't behave logically.
Emotionally distancing yourself from an ex is hard, especially when she didn't really give him a reason to hate her. It's complicated.
Does it mean he doesn't want you? No, not necessarily. He could be playing you but he could be just confused. He may not even be admitting it to himself yet.
But you have to talk to him.
You stepped in there before he had made a full emotional break. So now you have to deal with the messy part. It may work out in your favor or not, but that's a risk.
If you were convinced that your boyfriend was 100% in love with you and devoted to you, you wouldn't have started this thread, correct?
As far as posts to the Relationships forum are concerned, the common thread evident in a good number of them is that there is an enormous capacity for everyone to repackage their thoughts, and yet nothing ever seems to change the view of the original poster. This one apparently will closely follow that pattern.
If it were not for the fact that another thread was recently (and mercifully) closed, the contentious back-and-forth exchanges over the adamant claim of "rape by fraud" would still be raging on ad nauseam. When denial takes over, not much additional time passes before logic, sensibility and reason embark on a long vacation.
His feelings will go away for her in time as long as our relationship continues to be everything he wants?
How can it be ^^^?
Good point. Thank you.
OP, his feelings for her have very little to do with you.
Put that in the trash next to them being "just friends"
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