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I feel for the OP. Some of these comments are mean spirited. You can look up the statistics and open your eyes. About 20% of men do not have a strong sex drive. 47% of women have some degree of FSAD. Female sexual arousal disorder. It varies in effect and intensity. Look it up. A weak or low sex drive is just that. If someone is not interested in sex, it does not give anyone the right to tease them, attack them or assume anything about their physical or emotional health.
The OP is looking for companionship with a woman who is not interested in sex. Why do so many of you think that is wrong or an indication of some problem. It is just more of this stereotyping people and trying to label them so they fit into the little boxes some people think we should all fit into.
I have known women from both ends of the spectrum. Please stop abusing the OP and realize that it is different for all of us. There are lots of women on this and every forum who have no desire for sex.
If you have a strong sex drive, good for you, find someone who also has a strong sex drive. If you don't have a strong sex drive, there are plenty of people who feel the same way.
The subject of sex does not give you the right to ridicule or abuse someone only because you have a set of ideas and a closed mind.
I feel for the OP. Some of these comments are mean spirited. You can look up the statistics and open your eyes. About 20% of men do not have a strong sex drive. 47% of women have some degree of FSAD. Female sexual arousal disorder. It varies in effect and intensity. Look it up. A weak or low sex drive is just that. If someone is not interested in sex, it does not give anyone the right to tease them, attack them or assume anything about their physical or emotional health.
The OP is looking for companionship with a woman who is not interested in sex. Why do so many of you think that is wrong or an indication of some problem. It is just more of this stereotyping people and trying to label them so they fit into the little boxes some people think we should all fit into.
I have known women from both ends of the spectrum. Please stop abusing the OP and realize that it is different for all of us. There are lots of women on this and every forum who have no desire for sex.
If you have a strong sex drive, good for you, find someone who also has a strong sex drive. If you don't have a strong sex drive, there are plenty of people who feel the same way.
The subject of sex does not give you the right to ridicule or abuse someone only because you have a set of ideas and a closed mind.
I agree. I don't think everyone who responded was trying to be mean though. I just think people who are really into sex can't understand where people who aren't so into it are coming from (and vice versa).
I had been looking for an affectionate but asexual relationship featuring companionship, some hugging, and mutual fitness pursuits. Most of the "candidates" bored the hell out of me, a few were poorly educated, and those who were interesting lacked the sweetness and easy-going ways of my wife. It's curious that the two most interesting ones surfaced within a few weeks after my wife's passing, at which time I had no interest in a relationship, for obvious reasons.
Best thing I could've brought to any such union would've been deep pockets and willingness to foot all costs, because frankly my personality has become taciturn despite retaining some ability to make people laugh.
It sounds like this is the sort of relationship that should develop naturally, over time. You're looking for a friend. If you're not already involved in a handful of cultural organizations, you should make the effort. Museums and botanical gardens typically attract interesting, mature women who are also looking for companionship. They typically outnumber men in those settings.
Men like you need to be members of charitable organizations. If you're wealthy, be a donor or become a board member. Volunteer. Use your time and resources wisely. Women will notice.
I agree. I don't think everyone who responded was trying to be mean though. I just think people who are really into sex can't understand where people who aren't so into it are coming from (and vice versa).
I am one who really loves sex. But not just sex for the sake of sex, but for the intimacy of knowing and tuning into each others wants and needs.
When my wife got really sick, my drive began shutting down. And since she is gone, it is absent more often than not. I think that is natures way of letting us grieve without the chaos that large amounts of testosterone flowing in our bloodstream can cause.
For now I am fine with it. It would do me no good anyway. I am certain that it will change and between that and the loneliness, I will likely be an absolute wreck somewhere down this road.
Life events change us. How many times do women after having children lose their sex drive for some length of time?
Or how many times do women complain that their husband who is working and going to school is too tired to give them the attention they need?
The op is looking for a loving relationship based on companionship, love and affection.
If you are in a really good relationship, the sex is only a small part of that relationship. The affection an love is 24/7.
The other end of the spectrum is if you are in a relationship and your sex drives are not a good match, then one of you is frustrated and it becomes a major problem in the relationship.
Op should look for a post menapausal lady friend. Board games, reading, picnics, and tons of NPR to be had. Not sure where you would meet said women; maybe at the ballet or a buble concert?
How about signing up for ballroom dancing classes or hitting the nearest bingo hall. I think you would be the belle of the ball at these locales.
I feel for the OP. Some of these comments are mean spirited. You can look up the statistics and open your eyes. About 20% of men do not have a strong sex drive. 47% of women have some degree of FSAD. Female sexual arousal disorder. It varies in effect and intensity. Look it up. A weak or low sex drive is just that. If someone is not interested in sex, it does not give anyone the right to tease them, attack them or assume anything about their physical or emotional health.
The OP is looking for companionship with a woman who is not interested in sex. Why do so many of you think that is wrong or an indication of some problem. It is just more of this stereotyping people and trying to label them so they fit into the little boxes some people think we should all fit into.
I have known women from both ends of the spectrum. Please stop abusing the OP and realize that it is different for all of us. There are lots of women on this and every forum who have no desire for sex.
If you have a strong sex drive, good for you, find someone who also has a strong sex drive. If you don't have a strong sex drive, there are plenty of people who feel the same way.
The subject of sex does not give you the right to ridicule or abuse someone only because you have a set of ideas and a closed mind.
This right here and there are indeed some far fetched assumptions in this thread that don't support reality. There are those suggesting women have just as much drive as in prime child bearing years and most men mid to late forties should be like when they were in there twenties? I'm not buying what you're selling and of course there are exceptions to every rule but by and large it's not the case.
I am one who really loves sex. But not just sex for the sake of sex, but for the intimacy of knowing and tuning into each others wants and needs.
When my wife got really sick, my drive began shutting down. And since she is gone, it is absent more often than not. I think that is natures way of letting us grieve without the chaos that large amounts of testosterone flowing in our bloodstream can cause.
For now I am fine with it. It would do me no good anyway. I am certain that it will change and between that and the loneliness, I will likely be an absolute wreck somewhere down this road.
Life events change us. How many times do women after having children lose their sex drive for some length of time?
Or how many times do women complain that their husband who is working and going to school is too tired to give them the attention they need?
It is common, it is normal.
But events like that is usually temporary, and the sex drive typically comes back.
... featuring companionship, some hugging, and mutual fitness pursuits. ... a few were poorly educated, and those who were interesting lacked the sweetness and easy-going ways of my wife. It's curious that the two most interesting ones surfaced within a few weeks after my wife's passing, at which time I had no interest in a relationship, for obvious reasons.
Your requirements are very reasonable and it is unfortunate you have not found someone. You did not indicate when your wife died; I am assuming it was relatively recent and it is understandably difficult to become intimate with anyone when the thoughts and feelings for someone you loved so much are still strong.
I ended a relationship about three years ago and did not date during that entire time because the ghost of my ex was still haunting me. Trying to build a relationship while still being emotionally connected to my ex would not be fair to the new woman, or myself. Curiously, a very appealing woman (whom I would love to encounter today) surfaced about a month after my breakup and, like you, I was simply not open to her at the time.
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